[StillStanding]

There's someone posting on Twitter that I think deserves some recognition:

https://twitter.com/HerosSpouse/

How do I detach? How do I stop? Don't think of the color BLUE. Focus on ME! http://bit.ly/RE8JVq  #herospouse #detach

[OldPilot]

There's someone posting on Twitter that I think deserves some recognition:

https://twitter.com/HerosSpouse/

How do I detach? How do I stop? Don't think of the color BLUE. Focus on ME! http://bit.ly/RE8JVq  #herospouse #detach

Actually truth be told the person on twitter is some guy that used to fly planes around, but he is using DGU and RCR to post!
He is just an editor.
If anyone wants to tweet something from Hero's let me know and I will ask that guy to come in for a landing for long enough to get it out!

[StillStanding]

I think this stands to be revisited: http://www.ndoherty.com/stockdale-paradox/

The Stockdale Paradox is named after admiral Jim Stockdale, who was a United States military officer held captive for eight years during the Vietnam War. Stockdale was tortured more than twenty times by his captors, and never had much reason to believe he would survive the prison camp and someday get to see his wife again. And yet, as Stockdale told Collins, he never lost faith during his ordeal: “I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

[Empahsis mine] Then comes the paradox: While Stockdale had remarkable faith in the unknowable, he noted that it was always the most optimistic of his prisonmates who failed to make it out of there alive. “They were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”

What the optimists failed to do was confront the reality of their situation. They preferred the ostrich approach, sticking their heads in the sand and hoping for the difficulties to go away. That self-delusion might have made it easier on them in the short-term, but when they were eventually forced to face reality, it had become too much and they couldn’t handle it.

Stockdale approached adversity with a very different mindset. He accepted the reality of his situation. He knew he was in hell, but, rather than bury his head in the sand, he stepped up and did everything he could to lift the morale and prolong the lives of his fellow prisoners. He created a tapping code so they could communicate with each other. He developed a milestone system that helped them deal with torture. And he sent intelligence information to his wife, hidden in the seemingly innocent letters he wrote.

Collins and his team observed a similar mindset in the good-to-great companies. They labeled it the Stockdale Paradox and described it like so:

    You must retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties.

    AND at the same time…

    You must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

For me, the Stockdale Paradox carries an important lesson in personal development, a lesson in faith and honesty: Never doubt that you can achieve your goals, no matter how lofty they may be and no matter how many critics and naysayers you may have. But at the same time, always take honest stock of your current situation. Don’t lie to yourself for fear of short-term embarrassment or discomfort, because such deception will only come back to defeat you in the end.

Living the first half of this paradox is relatively easy, since optimism really isn’t that hard. You just choose to believe that it will all turn out for the best, and everything that happens to you is a means to that end. Simple as.

But optimism on its own can be a dangerous thing:

    There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, “Oh, it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything,” and an optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyway.” Either way, nothing happens. – Yvon Chouinard

So you need to embrace the second half of the Stockdale Paradox to really make strides. You must combine that optimism with brutal honesty and a willingness to take action.

Now of course, nobody likes admitting that they’re fat, that they’re broke, that they’ve chosen the wrong career or that their marriage is falling apart. But admitting such truths is an absolute necessity if you want to grow and improve. It might feel like you’re taking a few steps backward by doing so, but you can view that retreat as the pull-back on a sling shot: you’re just setting yourself up to make significant progress down the road.

[StillStanding]

No source other than being overheard...

A small child was complaining to his mother (?) that another child didn't want to play with them, and he apparently really wanted to play together; his mother replied "You can't make people play with you, you can only make people want to play with you."

Food for thought when it comes to planting seeds...

[StillStanding]

Not exactly MLC-related but people who are working on reconnecting, GALing or "Acting as if" might enjoy this:

https://twitter.com/eFlirtExpert/statuses/297406202197995520

It's your dating life, not corporate life. Skip dry email titles (Cooking) & inject personality (Battle of the Lasagnas)

EDIT: Although, most email writing advice tells you the opposite; that clear subject lines help people process email more efficiently. I guess you could do something like "COOKING: Battle of the Lasagnas"?

[StillStanding]

I meant to post this before Valentine's Day, but people looking for something to do for the long weekend may appreciate it:

http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=1517

Sometimes, we all need the occasional night to ourselves. Some of you may be thinking, "A night to myself, what is that?"

We often have those nights where we are home zoning out watching TV, eating and feeling bored. We don’t need more of those nights. This is not the kind of night I am referring to.

Some of you may say, "A night to myself, that isn’t going to be fun. If I go out alone people will think I am weird or will assume I am unlovable and lonely."

Yuck! Believe me, one of the best ways to nurture ourselves is to plan a nice little date night out… yes, alone.

Here are six reasons to consider taking yourself out on a date, even if it means ditching your spouse for a night.

1. Freedom! When you take a date night for yourself the first benefit is you have the freedom to do whatever you want to do! You do not have to make concessions for anyone else. It feels good to simply let a day or night, now and again, be all about you and your tastes. It reminds you of who you are, what you love and that you can, in fact, feel fantastic all on your own.

2. You can take your time. The greatest thing about dates with yourself is that you can take your sweet time. There is no agenda. No one is rushing you to be somewhere. You can have a plan or you can just relax and fly by the seat of your pants on your date. It is ok to slow things down and enjoy the smaller pleasures of life.

3. Independence. To be able to feel self-satisfied on your own is important to your sense of self-worth and independence. To be able to go out in public and have yourself a little date shows a level of self-comfort and satisfaction. It is important for you to remember that you are more than ok all on your own. A certain amount of time alone is exciting, relieving and nurturing to your soul.

4. It makes you more interesting. People who can never make a decision on a date or who always speak in "we" terms can annoy the other because there is no "self" there. When you spend a certain amount of time alone it keeps you on your toes in developing your own opinions, preferences and memories. Knowing what you want is sexy because it makes you interesting.

5. Get over your fear of being alone. The more you practice entertaining, nurturing and dating yourself, you learn more about what you want from your spouse. Since you're married, it is always great to reconnect with yourself and to give yourself all the things that maybe you feel you are missing from your spouse. It is about being whole all unto yourself. It is attractive to be someone who is ok being alone. When you date yourself you are not alone anyway. You are not by yourself you are with yourself.

6. Pamper yourself. If you are going to have this date with yourself, you may as well indulge in some pampering. You can shop, get your nails done, get a massage or a facial. Whatever it is for you that will make you feel loved and well taken care of… gift this to yourself. You deserve it. When you pamper yourself you are acknowledging your lovability and your value.

Look at it this way, other people enjoy your company, right? So why shouldn’t you. As Buddha quotes, "You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection." [Emphasis mine] A little parting life message: Love yourself and take charge of your happiness.

[justbelieve]

Still Standing
I needed this soooooooooooo bad! i have had myself a little pity party of late i guess. time to get back on my feet!
Life goes on.
Thanks so much for sharing

[StillStanding]

[justasking]

Beautiful and inspiring 

[StillStanding]