[trusting]

I think that it is possible that I am also hearing similar rumblings about recconection with my children.
Time will tell and although every journey is different it is eerily also very similar.

Oh yeah?  It will be interesting.  We are both far enough along that it is possible to see something happening before too much longer.  But then MLC takes forever so....

[panda]

Thanks trusting, justasking & oldpilot....  I was reading some of the info about wallowers and how they don't tend to have PA's and affair down.  H is with a much younger OW who is single (as far as I know) and H seemed to be very high energy before BD and alot less so now.  I assumed before he was a high energy replayer but now I assume a wallower because he is still here?

trusting - I am enlightened by your situation and how it varies also (oldpilot).  I did not realise that these replay phases/MLC's took quite this long.

[trusting]

Replay is the longest part, takes years usually.   Stage watching I have found is futile.  MLCers cycle so much and then just when you think you see forward progress they seem to go backwards.  It is all part of the process. Also, the depression and withdrawal is present the whole way through, sometimes more obvious than others.  They are in crisis and there isn't anything you can do about it so just trying to detach and not watch too closely is the best thing you can do (and believe me, I know how hard it is not to watch while they are in right in front of you). 

FWIW, my husband sure seemed to be high energy for the months leading up to and right after BD.  I saw it in bursts once in awhile after that but it really, really slowed down.  His drug of choice to run and avoid since then for the most part has been workaholism and trying to keep busy with work projects. 

[panda]

Hi trusting - was the same here with high energy prior to BD-  except H seems to have almost immediately after BD given up on work - home earlier every night than he has EVER been - wants to sit in the lounge alot of the time vacant.

[Slow Fade]

Just curious, does anyone else get the "I don't have time for anything" from their MLCr? H is working fewer hours, has no child chores or responsibilities but can't seem to find the time to do even the simplest things for himself. Even for his job.......

Prior to MLC, he was a great multi-tasker and got things done. Now he can't keep anything together.

[OldPilot]

Prior to MLC, he was a great multi-tasker and got things done. Now he can't keep anything together.

Well if you were depressed would you be able to get anything done?

[panda]

Slow Fade - Yes!!!!  Seems to have great difficulty doing the simplest of tasks which was not the case prior to BD.

Its a shame they don't see this themselves.

[trusting]

Mine has definitely gone the opposite route with trying to fill every second of his time so he doesn't have to think (and this actually came out of the horse's mouth a few months ago).  Anything to do with the family or responsibility toward the kids or home doesn't fit into his schedule though.

[Anjae]

Mine is like Trusting one, he has time for much more work than before. He hardly ever stops and barely sleeps. And he has been at it for many, many years. The irony with mine is that now he has to take care of his and OW2 flat (she has been living and working abroad for a while) and everything that needs to be done. So much for not wanting responsibility... He also has to take care of sending his stuff to the accountant (I used to do it for the both of us/joint projects) and a few other things. No, I'm not planning to give him a hand.

[riverbirch]

My H has an appliance recycling business on top of his regular job. He gets calls to pick things up from customers. Refrigerators and AC units have to have the Freon removed before recycling. This business was something he wanted to do but now he doesn't seem to be able to keep up with the work load. He has often said he has a lot of work to do. He used to spend many extra hours doing all of this but now he can't keep up.
He happened to mention this to me once awhile ago and I went to his shop one time and it was a mess. His camper is a mess too and his shop was always very organized.