[Lovely1]

Hi Dancing

I think it is interesting to see the giant pendulum swing. It  helps you to try to understand what may be coming next ... which I find is the best way to deal with the future.

I think my OW is petering out ... and has made such immature and selfish demands (financial, time, cross when he sees the kids etc) that she has killed a lot of the passion off. I do half expect it to get back together again - it is too early for H to come home - but I imagine that OW won't take anything half baked from H. She wants the whole lot: divorce, his time, and she wants his family to simply evaporate. My H can't do/is better than that.

Anyway, at the same time I am now thinking Who Cares? I have had enough of brooding. I now try and do only things which help me. If it helps me to carve out a new and better life then I will do that. I think H has been uncool and unintelligent in his behaviour.

Hope you are okay.

[justasking]

Lovely

She wants the whole lot: divorce, his time, and she wants his family to simply evaporate.

This ^^^^ is what all OW's want. That is why they are an affair down. That's why eventually they crushed the relationship given time 

Hugs

[Ready2Transform]

Hey all!  I'm trying to reference return stories right now where there was actually a finalized divorce.  I know GBM was one - any others?

[trusting]

DGU's friend, not on the forum.

[DancingInTheRain]

I personally know a couple (H w/ MLC when youngest son graduated high school) that divorced then remarried 2 years later.

[calamity]

One couple in RL--big, messy divorce, scandal...back tog. after 8 years.  I'm sure there are more, I've forgotten.  FYI, If my h actually divorces me, I WON'T be marrying again [legally] not anyone even h.  It's just paper--if you think you are married, you are. 

[Dontgiveup]

DGU's friend, not on the forum.

Yes, my friend's ex-wife returned about 4 months ago after nearly 5 years.  She divorced my friend and married the alienator within a year of bomb drop.

[1Cor.13]

LoveMyMan,

I think this is how I am with my h.

I do not initiate contact. I just respond if contacted. In my case it is practically No Contact because he is not interested in contacting me.

Even if I have issues (behavioural) with the kids, I don't contact him, I have learnt the hard way that there is no use in it, I just get blamed or criticized and NOTHING is solved. Fortunately the kids are all old enough for me to do this.

It is definitely better for me and it is what he wants. It is probably more comfortable for OW, too

For me, it is a way of respecting his wishes and keeping out of the way of nastiness. He definitely does not want a relationship with me at the moment.

--------------------------------------
I wanted to just comment on this, I hope I don't "hijack" the thread by doing so..please forgive me, I'm a Newbie   My H spoke with me last night about our daughter, just turned 17, she has bi-polar disorder, one of the reasons why he left, because she wasn't "perfect' in his eyes..after 2 years since BD and working full time and raising her alone (I have had so many challenges with her, I should write a book), last night my H called (very infrequent..he's almost a "vanisher") ..he said to me, Well, we've tried almost everything.." and I said to him, "You mean, I have..you haven't been here at all!"..He then said, "Well, yes, but you know what I mean.."  His OW sent my D home over the weekend with 2 large bags of Lays Chicken & Waffles potato chips, and fed her junk the whole day..which really affects her mental status, and goes against every nutritional good I am doing for her at home..so I wrote them both a short e-mail (something I have never done, ever..) and read them the riot act on how this affects her and me..She wrote me back and apologized, which I didn't respond to, but for God's sake, she has a 5 yr. old and a 13 yr. old..I appreciated her apology. Anyway..I found out that last night he got such a bad case of food poisoning (eats out everynight at restaurants  )..karma is tough..the food I made for us when he was here for 20 years never hurt him,so sad!

I still stand, he seems commited to the cheating OW still, they don't live together, but gave us up for her and her childten..sigh.

Be Blessed,
1Cor.13
BD Aug 03, 2011
20 years married
OW..yes, began cheating w/ her 1 month before BD
Me: 55 yrs
Him: 48
D: 17
He doesn't seem the least bit sorry..but texts/calls me now & then wanting/giving "advice"
I politely let him know that as long as he's with her, it ain't happening..He is a person I don't recognize anymore..

[Mitzpah]

His OW sent my D home over the weekend with 2 large bags of Lays Chicken & Waffles potato chips, and fed her junk the whole day..which really affects her mental status, and goes against every nutritional good I am doing for her at home..so I wrote them both a short e-mail (something I have never done, ever..) and read them the riot act on how this affects her and me..She wrote me back and apologized, which I didn't respond to, but for God's sake, she has a 5 yr. old and a 13 yr. old..I appreciated her apology.

I think you did good!

[Lovely1]

You are all right.

My H is cycling I think.

He is now asking me to sell the house. That came out of the blue.

I want to get on with my own life now. I am fed up with thinking about him and the OW all the time.