[toughtimes]

And, anyway, Thundarr, if an MLCer is already in Replay, how do we reach the person? Should we use a tranquilizer dark, and, with the MLCer a sleep, conduct blood and brain tests to see what they are in need of?

If only. Or maybe we get them to eat a poisoned apple, go to sleep for three years and then we can kiss them awake, their MLC having been gone through in dream land!

[kikki]

If only. Or maybe we get them to eat a poisoned apple, go to sleep for three years and then we can kiss them awake, their MLC having been gone through in dream land!

Now this, TT, is the BEST idea I have come across for a while.   

[Anjae]

OP, I know the divorce will not end Mr J MLC. But it will leave me free to remarry. Even if Mr J would come knock on the door tomorrow I would still want a divorce. My problem is to have not divorced him early on. That ruined my financial situation, prevent me from remarry and have kids.

Mr J left almost 7 years ago (and he is still deep in Replay), I've had more than time to heal, move forward and whatever.

I'm only legally married. Nothing more. But that legally married prevents me from doing a few things, including get a bank loan. This is no way to live.

I like that idea, TT. 

 

[Thundarr]

I know there's a "LIKE" button around here somewhere for Anne and TT's suggestions.....


Edited for Thundarr

[alwayshope]

Though I would prefer to conduct blood and brain tests while they are awake.

[Trustandlove]

This, as ever, is a most interesting discussion. 

I agree that we can get very excited by anything that publicly acknowledges that MLC, and crises like it, is "real", in whatever way -- biochemistry or anything.  And I think that's OK -- I like the fact that it would help all of us understand what otherwise is just completely bewildering. 

I also agree with the bit about alterered perceptions of reality.   A number of us have written here that we, ourselves, have experience of depression in various degrees, I know from my own experience that depression completely alters perception of the world, and things really truly do seem very different from what they are, or rather what they are when my own mind is "normal". 

And speaking of menopause, that certainly can affect women very, very differently.  I've been lucky, in that it actually seems to have improved many mood issues, but I know women who have been severely affected in a very negative way, and even if they recognise that that is what is happening, they struggle mightly to deal with the effects, both physical and mental.  The mental ones most.     And I know one who has struggled for over 10 years, it's never been "over" for her, and I understand that other female relatives of hers also had that problem. 

And oh, my goodness, if there were a way to shorten/mitigate her menopause she certainly would have done it!

I also have a teenage son with a number of learning difficulties, and yes, he does well in one subject but not in the others.  He doesn't choose that -- he really struggles.  He pours his all into his school day, and simply has nothing left when he gets home.    He is angry at that, angry at H, the anger ends up coming out in all sorts of ways.  He needs to feel safe, and he needs help to learn how to deal with and control those strong emotions. 

This same S, by the way, is currently saying that his father is doing what he is doing to piss HIM (S) off....   

[Gallagher]

Did anyone else see the tv program about the blood test being developed for diagnosing the presence of depression?  Can't remember what the show was, but here's an article.  If they could predict and prevent depression would it lesson MLC?

http://news.yahoo.com/blood-test-depression-proves-not-head-133922250.html

In the last 3 months my H has been able to talk more then he ever has before about his anxiety and depression.  I am understanding for the first time the pain and fear he lives with because of them.  He can look back now at his time in deep crisis and explain some of what he was feeling.  There are also stretches that he doesn't remember much at all and he asks me to fill in the spotty parts. 

I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt now that depression and anxiety were the lubricants that slowly moved him into his crisis.

I think the brain holds a lot of secrets that we are yet to find out.  I just finished a book called " the Brain that changes itself" by Norman Doidge.  The big premise is that our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains. 

[Songanddance]

It's been proven that the depressed brain tends to focus only on negative thoughts that only serve to prolong the depression, and also filter out positive thoughts that may shorten it.  There is a biological/ evolutionary explanation for this that I have addressed on a previous Discussion thread but fail to remember at this time.  One of the most common symptoms of depression is a clarity of memory when it comes to unpleasant memories and one of the primary reasons for this is that they are filtered out of the pleasant memories which are pushed away unconsciously.

Sorry If I haven't quoted this properly - human error.

However so agree with above as this is all H to a "T". He says that when he looks at me all he can remember is how much I hurt him 15 years ago. He cannot remember the laughter/the good times/ the joys and successes we've shared - Nothing. He can only remember the pain of his F dying suddenly and bitterly regrets causing his own accident.  This is why he is re-creating the same activities that we used to do with his OW because she doesn't have my failings. Poor fool - she has many of her own including a propensity for affairs but he hasn't discovered that yet!
 So frustrating but absolutely delighted with this thread - so helpful.


Fixed quote

[kikki]

Did anyone else see the tv program about the blood test being developed for diagnosing the presence of depression?  Can't remember what the show was, but here's an article.  If they could predict and prevent depression would it lesson MLC?

That's really interesting Gallagher - I haven't heard about this before.
Thanks for the link.

[Chrysalis]

I'm finding this thread really interesting.  Thank you, Thundarr for starting it - it's great to hear that the medical profession are now giving credence to the existence of MLC. Look forward to hearing the NP's thoughts on the length of time men are in MLC as well as any other thoughts she has on the subject.  I know when I spoke to my GP (who admittedly I didn't know well), a couple of years ago, she obviously thought I was mad when I said I thought my partner was going through an MLC.

My ex was on ADs, on and off, since 2004, usually because of depression brought on by physical illness.  He generally just stopped taking them rather than cutting them down slowly as you are meant to do.  I don't know if that could have added to his problems or not but it wouldn't surprise me.  Certainly when he left to live with OW, he stopped taking them as he didn't need them any more!  The particular hang-up that he has seems to be one of worry about ageing.  He hasn't blamed me for anything for a while but then he doesn't open up about anything, so I don't really know what he thinks.