[StillStanding]

Reposting this, in light of recent news.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm

Are you depressed?
If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.

• you can’t sleep or you sleep too much
• you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
• you feel hopeless and helpless
• you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
• you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
• you are much more irritable, short-tempered, or aggressive than usual
• you’re consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in other reckless behavior
• you have thoughts that life is not worth living (seek help immediately if this is the case)

[StillStanding]

Someone created a web-based game about living with depression.

The goal of Depression Quest is to navigate normal life scenarios but, as depression sets in, certain options for handling things are removed. This is to mirror the effect that depression has on your thinking.

http://www.depressionquest.com/

[StillStanding]

A charming essay about rediscovering (or even just discovering) the one person you can and should love unconditionally: yourself.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2014/10/how-to-love-yourself-the-way-youd-love-somebody-else/

[StillStanding]

Another excellent depiction of depression.

http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3617

[stayed]

  Oh yea!

Hugs Stayed

[StillStanding]

"Anyone can love a thing because. That's as easy as putting a penny in your pocket.
But to love something despite. To know the flaws and love them too. That is rare and pure and perfect."

—Patrick Rothfuss, The Wise Man's Fear

[StillStanding]

Some Mirror Work homework...

http://www.racked.com/2015/3/19/8244591/not-canceling-plans

[MsT]

I came across this comment online and it was definitely food for thought. Emphasis in bold is mine.

http://www.reddit.com/r/secularbuddhism/comments/1fefyv/dealing_with_the_faithful_without_getting_angry/ca9jp84
   

As a therapist, I can tell you that when most people share something with you, what they really want is to be listened to. It's almost the entire reason my profession exists in the first place. Humans tend to be poor listeners overall. We're always far too busy in our own heads to really take the time to understand someone else's world view and yet one of the things we so crave is simply to be heard and understood by another.

[...]

The problem is that so frequently in conversation, we're so concerned with being listened to or understood ourselves, that we neither listen to nor understand, the person we are having a conversation with (and they notice this).

As Joseph Goldstein points out "your thoughts about your mother, are not your mother". Neither are your thoughts about your significant other, your significant other. Regardless of how confident you are that you know your significant other, the reality is, you cannot know the internal workings of another. Ever. Under any circumstances. The closest you can come to knowing another is done by listening and seeking to understand. As long as you continue to insist that others know you, you cannot get even the smallest of glimpses into the world of another.

When you challenge what someone says who is sharing something with you, what you are often subtly communicating in the exchange, is that you are smarter, better, or that your point of view is somehow more important than theirs is. It also communicates to the other person that you haven't really understood them. When someone shares something with you, even if that something is a problem they are experiencing, they're generally not looking for solutions (or your opinion). What they generally want is simply to be understood, and it's both a rare and kind individual that can accomplish this.

When you seek to understand the worldview of another (regardless of whether or not you agree with it), without inserting your own worldview, it communicates that the way they see the world is important to you. It also communicates that they as a person are important to you. When you listen well and thoroughly to others, without demanding that they understand you, on the occasions you choose to share your perspective, because the other person feels well understood by you, they are more likely to take what you have to say under consideration.

Dang. I've been listening wrong for as long as I can remember. Bookmarking.

[stayed]

Ditto!  Dang is right MsT!  I'll never learn.... 

Hugs Stayed

[hopeandfaith]

I experienced being a good listener accidentally the other day and it was an amazing experience. 

As part of my lifecoaching course, I had to have a conversation with someone and listen for their preferred speech pattern i.e visual = I 'see' what you mean, auditory = I 'hear' what you are saying.  Anyway, I decided to do this with someone who normally really irritates me.  Usually when I talk to him I spend most of the conversation wondering how long it will take for him to leave my office and how many times I will have to repeat myself before he gets it.

Guess what happened when I stopped running my own arrogant agenda and really listened to what he said?  He left earlier, he repeated back to me what I needed him to do (and he got this from previous conversations because I hadn't said it this time) and we connected.  It was a really nice conversation.  He shared a lot more than normal too.  It was quite an eye-opener. 

I also have 1 friend who is a trained listener.  There are always pauses after I speak because she is waiting until I have finished speaking before she starts thinking of her answer.  Over the phone, this is tricky because I question if she is still there.  She always says "yeah, I'm here.  I'm just thinking about what you said".  That is luscious.  We should all try to be better listeners.  It is both an art and a gift to others.