[gigi888]

I got the "Because of you, I have gained weight.  I have never been so fat in my life." and "I was drinking myself to death because of you."

LOL.....I don't really cook so how did I make him gain weight.  I dont even drink so how did I make him drink.

[Snowdrop]

Love these :

And another, business like question about the dishwasher - 'Will the dishwasher be going on intra-day?'

"Where's the ironing board?"
"Where's the iron?"
"Is this the bit for the steam?"
" What kind of water should I put in it?"
" Which is the steam part on the dial?"
He then spent 25 minutes ironing 3 collars!!

Lately in he emails every line starts with something similar to "as I have told you many times...."  Then a statements I have never heard before.

"I wouldn't put it past you to be calling OW and both of you conspiring against me - that's why I feel so ill. You're both poisoning me!"

I took up too much room in the garage with the ironing board!

You wouldn't dye your hair.

You don't like to drink coffee

"There are three people suffering right now!" (and he did not mean the children)

I did not leave the kids I disintegrated by choice (what??)

I was with you cause I pitied you.

I got the "Because of you, I have gained weight.  I have never been so fat in my life." and "I was drinking myself to death because of you."

[WorkingHard]

Following monster, my MLC is prone to say, "I was just speaking my truth!"

A favorite of my MLCer is, "You don't support me!" This from the person who relies on me for nearly everything except toilet assistance.

And the one I hear most often--and am so sick of--is, "I never intend to hurt you It just happens.."

Blech. 

[Slow Fade]

And the one I hear most often--and am so sick of--is, "I never intend to hurt you It just happens.."

Blech. 



I heard this too, along with you can't help how you feel.

[Shadow]

I got this one recently...
    "There is a smell I smell when I walk out of work at night and it reminds me of how much I want to start over, closer to nature,  I don't want to hurt you but I need to do this alone. Winter is coming soon so the smell will go away soon."   WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He works in a city 15 minutes from home.
   Figure this one out and you get the prize of the day!!

[Songanddance]

I'm sorry but I splurted my tea out all over my laptop when I read this!! What a hoot!

[BB64]

Ah, the smell of manure otherwise known as Bs. It does travel to cities when the wind blows,
Your husband's brain is made of wind and bs right now,

I think thst is what he is trying to say. An airhead.

As for the winter connotation, well....maybe he is aware that his moods are changing with the winds...some of those winds are mind farts 

[WorkingHard]

Ah, the smell of manure otherwise known as Bs. It does travel to cities when the wind blows,
Your husband's brain is made of wind and bs right now,

Wonderful analysis! Thanks for the laugh!

[WorkingHard]

Just thought of another one I used to get in the days following an attack of Monster (before I set a strong boundary about monstering): "I can't stand you walking on egg shells. You just need to live in the present."

Uh, right. You get to use unexpected rage to intimidate and criticize me, then expect I will pretend everything is okay?

[Albatross]

New one fresh off the press yesterday.

'Have you ever considered that I just want to  be a $lut for a while.  I mean I will probably f* ck someone else before we get back together but just listen to what I am saying,  it will just be a f*ck!!

Classy

ROFL. Sorry but it was in fact very funny and I have to laugh. She have sense of humor. Funny and honest (monster) in the same time.