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Author Topic: Discussion Ask a Mentor 6

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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#170: October 17, 2013, 03:09:24 PM
hi Anjae

thank you sorry i feel so stupid but where do i find the new topic ?? i really cant remember  :-[
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#171: October 17, 2013, 03:56:19 PM
My mentor has been completely silent.  Not a complaint, just trying to figure out if he/she is still a member of the forum????
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M: 9 yrs
T: 15 yrs
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OW is Married with 2 children
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Moved into Apartment on 10/12/2013
"Unsure of where we fit"
“True love is tested when betrayed.”
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#172: October 17, 2013, 04:57:30 PM
hdic, you got to our community & new topic is centre page.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#173: October 17, 2013, 05:00:29 PM
Quote from: DevastatedWife on October 17, 2013, 03:56:19 PM
My mentor has been completely silent.  Not a complaint, just trying to figure out if he/she is still a member of the forum????

I'm not sure Devastated Wife.
I'll forward this onto RCR and get her recommendation as she assigns the mentors.

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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#174: October 17, 2013, 06:03:54 PM
here is your new thread how do i cope: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4157.0 - is how do i cope coping ??
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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#175: October 18, 2013, 09:36:58 AM
I need some words of wisdom here:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4149.msg257707#msg257707
What You will do ?
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#176: October 18, 2013, 10:33:28 AM
My spousetold my grndtr i did not want him anymore so he is still blaming. My question is the more indpendent i seem to get the angrier h gets. So should i act needier so he doesnt think i am leaving him,in the dust lol
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#177: October 18, 2013, 01:43:31 PM
Quote from: Dreamer on October 18, 2013, 10:33:28 AM
My spousetold my grndtr i did not want him anymore so he is still blaming. My question is the more indpendent i seem to get the angrier h gets. So should i act needier so he doesnt think i am leaving him,in the dust lol

definitely not!
continue to have a great and victorious life. You can easily say "our grand daughter said that you said i dont want you anymore....this is completely untrue. I want you but i dont need you. I will have a wonderful life with you or without you, and you are choosing for it to be without you. How you respond to that is up to you."

said in a kind manner and with love will be very powerful.
James Dobson recommends putting things in writing so they can look back at them in the dark times as a reminder of the truth. Because their 'monster' tells them all sorts of lies during their MLC.

cheers Benn
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Our spouse and children are our mirror.
This is good and i accept it as God's plan for me to grow and become more like Christ.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#178: October 18, 2013, 03:37:37 PM
Quote from: BennHurr on October 18, 2013, 01:43:31 PM
Quote from: Dreamer on October 18, 2013, 10:33:28 AM
My spousetold my grndtr i did not want him anymore so he is still blaming. My question is the more indpendent i seem to get the angrier h gets. So should i act needier so he doesnt think i am leaving him,in the dust lol

definitely not!
continue to have a great and victorious life. You can easily say "our grand daughter said that you said i dont want you anymore....this is completely untrue. I want you but i dont need you. I will have a wonderful life with you or without you, and you are choosing for it to be without you. How you respond to that is up to you."

said in a kind manner and with love will be very powerful.
James Dobson recommends putting things in writing so they can look back at them in the dark times as a reminder of the truth. Because their 'monster' tells them all sorts of lies during their MLC.

cheers Benn
Good advice.
Mine also said he needed to be needed.  I think he wanted me to be hopeless without him.  Co-dependant.  This is their dysfunction.  Interdependence is not being 'needy'.  He has chosen his path but like is so common, it needs to be blamed on an external cause.  Writing it down is good.  I have kept all the texts in a file on my computer in case it is ever required.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 6
#179: October 19, 2013, 03:52:32 PM
Just posted a question on my thread - not urgent just would like more experienced LBS viewpoints... Thanks
Bear in mind that H has also asked me to release part of his equity in our house - see my thread from October 14th.
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3977.125
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Reconnection started 2017.
Separated 2022 (my choice because he wanted to live alone) and yet fully reconnected seeing each other often.
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