[Lovebystanding]

BLOG TOPIC


How does one spot a midlife crisis vs. narcissist or psychopathology?
Is it a personality disorder or midlife crisis? Or could it even be both–someone with a personality disorder who is having an MLC?

.....anyone with thoughts on the above blog topic?

[Ready2Transform]

This is something I cycle with - my husband had been diagnosed bipolar in 2010.  There are elements that cross over into each thing, so it makes it hard to gauge.  But, if you take an assessment of what they were like during the duration of your relationship and what you know of them before you were together, and compare whether or not there was a sudden change that is unlike any other time in their lives that you know of - you'll have about as good of an answer as you can get right now, with them still in this state of mind.  I also check bipolar forums and websites for similarities and differences that may give me clues.  There are NPD boards and sites as well that help.

[Searching4Answers]

This is a topic that I have been thinking about a lot lately. The level of narcissism that the MLCer displays really makes you question if it is due to MLC or was it there all along. In my situation, there has always been some selfishness but it was never destructive like it is right now. 

Looking forward to what others have to say 

[calamity]

All I know is that a midlifer displays characteristics of narcissism, personality disorder & yes psychopathy [or is it sociopathy?].  In my h's case these were characteristics I had never, in almost 40 years, seen before BD.  He was mildly irritable & slightly bitter for a few years pre BD. 

[Searching4Answers]

This is a topic that I have been thinking about a lot lately. The level of narcissism that the MLCer displays really makes you question if it is due to MLC or was it there all along. In my situation, there has always been some selfishness but it was never destructive like it is right now. 

Looking forward to what others have to say 

For me this was not a consistant display previous to BD.

All I know is that a midlifer displays characteristics of narcissism, personality disorder & yes psychopathy [or is it sociopathy?].  In my h's case these were characteristics I had never, in almost 40 years, seen before BD.  He was mildly irritable & slightly bitter for a few years pre BD. 

My H also displayed irritability for a few years before also. It was so gradual that it didn't raise any flags until I looked back.

[in it]

It's always been there I never saw it due to my own codependency issues.

I used to think it was him that kept us together.. and in a really sick way it was. I mistook all the controlling as caring.

This comes from my own alcoholic upbringing trying to prove my value to someone else. His parents were the only people I ever saw interact that were married. We lived with them in a separate apt for a time.. And I thought what she did; I was supposed to do.

Their relationship was pretty twisted and I didn't see that either.

I'm more than sure it's NPD not necessarily sociopath; but not too far from it. The only thing he didn't have was short-term relationships only a couple of girlfriends before me which he hated me for also.

Like it was MY fault he didn't have many other experiences with women!

 Thank God I saved a lot of women from him is all I can say.. He's obsessive and jealous and controlling. He hides how he feels ALL of the time except for his anger. HE"S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS.

His job loss was the last straw for him and he went off the deep end. I saw all kinds of ways we could have made money we were in a pretty good financial situation but he just had to have this "thing" he took up with and I was the enemy. Everything has always been my fault.

[Lovebystanding]

My H exhibited anger episodes like his father and others on his family side...volatile (emotionally or physically) when things do not go their way.

Also H always wore a mask—so others will not see the Monster.
I used to point it out to him ......in front of others he always wants to be seen as a nice guy.
As a result what he has now done  comes as a shock to others bc most people
have only seen Mr Nice .... they conclude that maybe I am the cause of the breakdown.

It is possible I am dealing with both–someone with a personality disorder who is having an MLC.

[in it]

in front of others he always wants to be seen as a nice guy.

Yep- you got that right. I really think it's NPD in varying degrees. Your situation sounds a lot like mine did.

[Lovebystanding]

Like u in it, I too mistook all the controlling as caring.
H wanted to do everything his way and in the beginning I thought he was being helpful
but over the years i felt controlled .
Of course i started allowing him to do things his way but then wud get blamed that he had to do
everything.

[panda]

This is a topic that I have been thinking about a lot lately. The level of narcissism that the MLCer displays really makes you question if it is due to MLC or was it there all along. In my situation, there has always been some selfishness but it was never destructive like it is right now. 

Looking forward to what others have to say 

For me this was not a consistant display previous to BD.

All I know is that a midlifer displays characteristics of narcissism, personality disorder & yes psychopathy [or is it sociopathy?].  In my h's case these were characteristics I had never, in almost 40 years, seen before BD.  He was mildly irritable & slightly bitter for a few years pre BD. 

My H also displayed irritability for a few years before also. It was so gradual that it didn't raise any flags until I looked back.

Mine was irritated (mildly) 2010 to 2011.  Towards end 2011, all of 2012 and early 2013, terrible monster present alot of the time.  Never recognised it for what it was until I found this site.