Indeed split open and melt no contact is healthier. I had a very hard time wrapping my head around that, it took me a very long time, more than two years before I finally "got it". Now I realize that maintaining contact allows him to mistreat me, to be cruel, and to act without empathy or concern. This is not healthy for him or for me to allow him to emotionally abuse me. MLCers do not care about our well being, they just contact us out of habit, and their motives are completely self centered.
I am currently no contact for two months, and I realize that I should not allow him to mistreat me, or to take advantage of me. I care about him, but he does not care about me, and I must protect myself from his coldness and his selfishness. If the extraterrestrials ever let him go...then perhaps we will talk.