[Snowdrop]

OK I will try to simplify all of this for dummies.   No hard feelings. 

No, that's okay Albatross, thank you, it's me that needs to change, not you.  You are very good at this. Sad thing is I wouldn't even know what kind of book for dummies I'd be looking for.  Not that there even is one.

Every time I look at this thread, I get all excited thinking I've got it this time , and by line 2, I'm lost, every single time   Then I go back, a-n-d.......I....r-e-a-d........i-t......v-e-r-y..........s-l-ow-w-w-l-yyyy........and......nothing, nothing whatsoever do I understand.  So I do a big , give it a quick glance over, look at all the other replies that know EXACTLY what is going on, do another , and...... move onto the next post by someone elsle

[Snowdrop]

With respect to the MLCer, the mask is the persona that the MLCer presents to the world to hide the monster who has taken him/her over.  Monster is usually in control of an MLCer, whether or not they happen to be monstering, but the mask will make the MLCer look like a perfectly normal, rationally functioning, lucid human being.  MLCers are careful to wear the mask when they are hiding their MLC....at work, with their new friends, etc.  But the mask will often come off when dealing with the LBS and then the alien will show him/her MLC self and maybe even monster at the LBSer.

Well that's very creepy.  Thank goodness he left

[Snowdrop]

Hi Snowdrop,

I was going to say the same thing about a version for dummies but I'm persevering and I think I'm getting there.

Hey Albatross,

Based on my understanding now from what I've read, I can see that I met and fell in love with the Ego (self) but married the persona (Mask, Monster) as this version of W has been in evidence for a very long time. Even family members noticed this as they used to say to me that W had more FRONT than ******** (local seaside town). Meaning her personality was a front and we were seeing not the real person.

All good reading, great trying to understand it.

Lanzo

Thanks, Lanzo. Made it to "met and fell inl ove with the.....", and done. 

I'm going.

[Lanzo]

Hi TLZ,

Thanks for that, I don’t think you have  contradicted my understanding. In fact going off what you said ,  it would point to the fact that my family members were seeing through the persona  that W presenting to the world and it was all a front she was putting on.  Actually I could see it too that W puts on this front to the world, but I thought she was being true to me, (well apparently not).

The good thing about reading this thread on Replay is that I’m getting a better idea of when W started to turn off me,  and scarily it’s a long time ago shortly after we got married, and possibly it could have been before that.

As I said before all good reading. (Keep up Snowdrop)

Lanzo

[Snowdrop]

my family members were seeing through the persona  that W presenting to the world and it was all a front she was putting on.  Actually I could see it too that W puts on this front to the world, but I thought she was being true to me, (well apparently not).

The good thing about reading this thread on Replay is that I’m getting a better idea of when W started to turn off me,  and scarily it’s a long time ago shortly after we got married, and possibly it could have been before that.

Hmmmm..... I used to tell H he was so fake at times when it came to dealing with people outside of the home.  I think I did see the "real" him, which was often an angry man, who expected the kids to take sides in arguments, etc., and wouldn't stop until he had the last word.  His mom is fake too, and I saw right through her from the beginning, and chose not to have a relationship with her, on top of her ignoring our children - how lovely she is   She knew I had her figured out.

As for H.  Now I wonder.  Very confusing.  Did I fall for the same facade many years ago?  Then again, I did see the real him, and I did comment each time he was fake, and would call him on it.  I couldn't stand it.  Could this be the real him that he is now, and he is truly happy, more happy than with me, as he can be himself, and OW is a mirror of who he is now, so they truly feel like soul mates?  Maybe his 22 years or so with me was the facade, and this is the real him. 

Maybe not?  Who knows.  Or is the mask he is wearing now, different?  He has done a total 180 and acting like a supersized version of MLC, MLC overload. 

Okay, now I am going before I need hospitalizing for my state of confusion.  I will leave this to the people who know what they are talking about.  I ain't one of them

[Albatross]

RCR on FaceBook page of Hero Spouse November 7.

Honestly, I think that in MLC it seems as though the issues are too deep to be resolved in this lifetime and wondering about the duplicity is normal. It's part of the process of integrating the Shadow. There are several opposing personas clanking around in there and his job is to figure out which are par to who he really is and which are just part of a coping façade. He doesn’t know. He needs to meet them, get to know them, test some of them out and then make decisions about which parts to discard. It's a big process.

[Dreamer]

Albatross,  if h is with ow allthe time, how will he be able to progress through the tunnel as h is never alone with his thoughts

[Albatross]

Albatross,  if h is with ow allthe time, how will he be able to progress through the tunnel as h is never alone with his thoughts

Good question, but MLCers are in great depression of mid life. It is mother of all depressions. Depression turn people inward. They are covertly depressed. When someone is depressed their thoughts running 200 m/h. So, they processing no matter what they are with OW/OM.

[panda]

I have actually seen the different personas appearing.  From a small child with 'food' problems, to teenage, to the adult who displays characteristics I haven't seen before - I hope he decides to keep that part because he is rather calm.

Fascinating stuff.

[Searching4Answers]

H was telling me recently about how he has been feeling; during his teenage years he did pretty much any drug he could get his hands on (I think that I have mentioned this before). He said that when he was high that he would want to interact with people and 'mess with peoples heads'. He described it as chatting up someone he didn't know about anyhting he could think of (as a way of entertaining himself, I think). He said that unless he was high he didn't have a desire to interact with people in general; this is the H that I have known, he has never been very interested in meeting new people or friends and pretty much tolerated being around family because it was expected. He said that over the past 6 months or so he has noticed the desire to interact with people again like he did when he was high (he is not using any drugs/alcohol).

I am seeing this as straight up regression but am confused about the being high part as he isn't now. Is it just that the feelings are associated with when he was a teenager?