Skip to main content
Pages: 1 ... 6 7 [8] 9 10 ... 14  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Mirror-Work Something for Men

R
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1125
  • Gender: Male
Mirror-Work Re: Something for Men II
#70: October 24, 2013, 04:24:33 PM
Agreed!

It was her 'internal' self that was the problem.... Kinda like uhmmmm, our spouse's.
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men II
#71: October 24, 2013, 04:32:49 PM
OK...so we have relationships to NOT get our needs met??

We just accept whatever is offered and fit ourselves in around someone elses issues and have relationships in OUR OWN HEADS?
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 709
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men II
#72: October 24, 2013, 04:58:38 PM
Quote from: in it on October 24, 2013, 04:32:49 PM
OK...so we have relationships to NOT get our needs met??
What are your needs?
  • Logged
Me 52,T 34,M 28
D 26, S23
BD 19th Aug 2010
Moved out 4th Dec 2010
R
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1125
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men II
#73: October 24, 2013, 04:59:24 PM
LOL, read the last line.....He's dead and she gets to move the glasses. GOOD trade off! Lol JK.
  • Logged
R
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1125
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men II
#74: October 24, 2013, 05:04:30 PM
It's why we 'get married' for all the wrong reasons. Bring your own 'identity' to a marriage, do not 'expect' the spouse to fill in your 'inadequacies'. hmmmm.

Forgot where I read that....
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men II
#75: October 24, 2013, 05:18:23 PM
OK try this one on for size...

It's not how we deal with the way we are compatible; it's how we deal with the in-incompatibilities we have.

My needs personally Honour? At this point in time?

 Is to be respected for the pain I have been through and the experience I have had. I'm trying to share it as it helps me heal and seems to help other people also.

But I am not dealing with an MLCER I'm dealing with a TEXTBOOK narcissist. A control freak to the nth degree. His MID LIFE only magnified the problem.

And I was codependent on him to find some VALUE in me. Which just isn't possible. I am an ACOA .

Narcissism seems to be a BIG part of this MLC everyone is going through.

WOMEN can also be a narcissist.
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
r
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 292
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men II
#76: October 24, 2013, 05:37:42 PM
I think both bring an identity to the table..and then they combine and form a shared one..the real issue is using your spouse as a whipping boy...everybody has failures , disappointments and regrets ..unmet dreams..but you accept them and keep going..that's what a marriage is supposed to do ..make your life doable ,bearable and have meaning..things may not always be your way..but that is part of the deal..
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men II
#77: October 24, 2013, 05:47:42 PM
Or whipping girl...
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
r
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 292
  • Gender: Male
Re: Something for Men II
#78: October 24, 2013, 05:52:27 PM
or whipping girl..of course..there's plenty of flogging been going on
  • Logged
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 12171
  • Gender: Female
Re: Something for Men II
#79: October 24, 2013, 05:56:50 PM
To ME?

MARRIAGE = COMMITMENT

Come hell or high water..it didn't mean that for him.

Anybody else with me on this? Can we agree we feel about the same way in regards to our spouses / exspouses?
  • Logged
There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
Pages: 1 ... 6 7 [8] 9 10 ... 14  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.