I've posted several times on my thread, but haven't had a lot of conversation going on there so I thought I'd post here. BD was Oct 2013. We went through Christmas with him here every other weekend, I guess pretending everything was ok for our families? Day after Christmas, he tells me he needs to work on him and OW, but we can still be friends.
He has now met her kids and I can only assume that means he won't need to come here because he can stay with her. I'm not exactly sure how the "friends" thing fits in if he never sees me, but whenever I say anything about it, he assures me that OW is ok with us being friends and that she knows he'll be back here to spend time with us sometimes. Who knows if she even knows I still exist though...he doesn't text me or call if he's with her so not so sure she's as on board as he says. All of his stuff is still here, I still have my name on his account because he wants me to help, and he also just brought me his prescriptions for Adderall last week so he won't lose them.
I don't want to tell him to take all his stuff and go because I think he would take that the wrong way and never return. His ADD is very black & white on some things. I don't want to say we can't be friends for the same reason. I DO want him to come back, but I know that's a long time in coming, if ever. In the meantime, I am doing things that make me happy, which will be even easier come spring when I can get outside and work in the yard. The trouble is, even though I am doing things at make me happy, I am CONSTANTLY thinking about him or reading forums or articles about this. I don't really think about what he's doing with her...he was playing video games all this wknd so if that's their wknd life together, I know that can only last so long so I really don't concern myself with that. I don't really know what I think about, a little of everything I guess. Maybe it's all the forum reading and articles...I don't know. I feel ok with "moving on" but then he'll come over and we'll have a nice day together and then I barely hear from him for 2 weeks. I get a good morning text every day and sometimes he'll ask what I'm doing, like he always did, so I know I am on his mind as well.
So, my question is this...what should I be doing? I think the amount of reading material available is great, but how do you step away from all of it? Is it normal to think about this so much? I find myself needing to find something else to do or look at so I quit thinking about it for a while, but as soon as I stop doing whatever it is, I go back to thinking about some aspect of it. I sleep well and eat fine...don't feel like I am worried or stressed out about it. I do think it will be much easier once there's no snow on the ground and I can get outside and DO something....but what do I do until then? We got like 2 more months of winter to go!
On a side note, I do realize a lot of you were married for many years and I was not, however we had the kind of relationship that FELT like a marriage. We had plans to marry after his son graduates HS in May. We also went to HS together so have known each other for 25 years. The ADHD forum says to drop him & his stuff & run like the wind, but I can't do that, even if we aren't married. Standing seems like it makes sense for right now, just need to figure out how close to stand.
If you want to post on my thread or move this to there, my thread is called "who are you and what did you do with the love of my life?" Thanks in advance!
(Answered on thread.)
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