[Kitten]

Hey folks...an interesting thought occurred to me this evening and I figured it would be good to get everyone's input.

What was your MLCer like before MLC? I ask in reference to  "high maintenance" or "low maintenance." Mine is quite high maintenance. (at the risk of tooting my own horn, I am very low maintenance) It required a lot of energy to keep up with his needs and expectations. It took me a long time to learn not jump every time he overreacted to something (good or bad.) He would never be described as "calm, cool, and collected. or even Happy go lucky."

That being said he had an excellent attention (obsession really) for detail and perfection. He has many accomplishments under his belt, things like instrument rated pilot licence, racing license, skilled plasterer, diving certificate..etc.

I wonder if the high maintenance trait is common among MLCers or if it is unique to mine. LEt me know your thoughts folks!

[limitless]

Low maintenance.

Total accommodater.

Didn't see it at the time.

Now I see it crystal clear. 


When they say still waters run deep- it's so true!

[Returned]

Mine was pretty high maintenance in the sense that he blamed me for everything. If the weather was hot...it was my fault. If he didn't get a raise, well that was my fault too. He would leave all the decisions to me, and then blame me if anything went wrong.

Having said that he was avoidant in regard to discussions. He wouldn't tell me what he wanted and then he would expect me to somehow now.

[always hopeful]

I believ my W is also low maintenance as well as Accomodater.

[The New Me]

Low maintenance, but I think it was an act. 

[Breathe]

Mine was high maintenance.  She always has been.

Her MLC was triggered by an accident we witnessed where somebody was killed.  After that she became very high maintenance.  She couldn't be contained.  It was always looking for a higher calling, she's not doing enough with her life, her old relationships with boyfriends from the long ago past were not properly ended.  And I just didn't get any of it, which I didn't.  Then a bomb drop in June 2013 where she wanted to take a trip and probably not come back. 

[TopsyTurvy]

Low maintenance

Never argued, didn't see the point.  Always compromised.

Only ever wanted his own way if he wanted a new car, usually every 18 months.

[Kitten]

Interesting, we are about 50/50 right now. For those whos MLCer was low maintenance...Am I correct in assuming they would now be considered high maintenance? In my case I guess a good description is that I felt like it was trying to keep puppies in a box. But at the end those puppies became snakes.

[in it]

In my case I guess a good description is that I felt like it was trying to keep puppies in a box. But at the end those puppies became snakes.

 

 TOTALLY HIGH MAINTANCE on every possible level...HIS way, His way, His way, every single time. Toys, clothes, money spent, attention, whatever!!

[bipolared]

High maintenance.  Always needed me to keep him grounded and in a fair mood;  he has always been in emotional turmoil and i had to soothe him .  Blamed me for everything-if the washing machine broke, he was like, "what did you do?".  Wanted me to do all his laundry, wanted me to bring him his food, and i can count on one hand the times he changed the girls' diapers when they were little.  As a matter of fact, he has the teens this weekend for the first time and remarked that it will be the most time he has ever spent with them alone.  To be fair, he was the principle bread winner so i didn't mind taking on all the housework and childcare but it didn't matter if he(or I) worked 2 hrs or 40, i would have been doing it anyway.  And just before bomb drop i remember thinking, wow, he is only nice to me when he wants food or f$%*@!#.