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Author Topic: Discussion  Ask a Mentor 8

d
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Discussion Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#120: February 04, 2016, 09:50:55 AM
What does it mean if my husband says he loves me, that will never change?  Been gone since Oct 2010 but comes to the house every day and leaves every night to return to his apartment

answered on your thread.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2968.0
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« Last Edit: February 05, 2016, 04:50:59 PM by Anjae »
w
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#121: March 08, 2016, 08:25:13 AM
what is the difference between a MLC and a midlife transition?  not the definition, but symptoms.
thanks

Answered on your thread. http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7522.0
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« Last Edit: March 08, 2016, 11:13:40 AM by Ready2Transform »
R
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#122: March 09, 2016, 06:28:35 PM
Hi. Does anyone have any knowledge on a sister wife/polygamous sitch? I really need some help on this. thanks

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7453.0

Elegance

answered on your thread.
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« Last Edit: March 10, 2016, 04:06:43 PM by Anjae »
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#123: May 01, 2016, 10:53:17 AM
Is there a list of things to say/do thatwill be positive enough to keep the MLCer from running back into the tunnel? In the case where the MLCer appears to be trying to connect in some manner, then does something immediately that is thoughtless (not mean or cruel, just not having any courtesy or consideration for the LBS), how can the LBS not show disappointment. Or should they just go ahead and without rancor, say something. But then, what would they say?

In a fictitious example where the MLCER brings home dinner for themselves and children, but leaves out LBS, to me if the LBS is hurt, they should say so. "I feel left out when there is food for everyone except me." You would do this with normal people. But for an MLCer, it would make them feel "bad" and most likely shame. It doesn't seem right that the LBS would have to stuff their feelings. Is there a different alternative?

Answered on your thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7449.msg502907#msg502907 - R2T
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« Last Edit: May 01, 2016, 11:15:40 AM by Ready2Transform »
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#124: June 19, 2016, 03:15:36 AM
Are they any lbs threads that I can read, that where in a in-house separation?
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S
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#125: June 19, 2016, 05:37:16 AM
Do you mean if the MLCer is a wallower or a high energy replayer but still living at home?

I have the latter so you are welcome to read my threads (I'm over 3 yrs in).   

A wallower is 31 and counting (if memory serves me well) and she has been in this longer than me.

I'm sure other mentors will name others- I just need to trawl my memory.
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BD march 2013
Stay at home MLCer
OW for 3.5 years - finishing Autumn 2016
Reconnection started 2017.
Separated 2022 (my choice because he wanted to live alone) and yet fully reconnected seeing each other often.
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#126: June 22, 2016, 05:05:41 AM
Off the top of my head, I believe Offroad is another one who has a live in H.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
M
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#127: July 08, 2016, 08:01:48 AM
Can someone look at my last post and make suggestions? TY

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7347.msg517838#msg517838

answered on your thread.
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« Last Edit: July 08, 2016, 03:26:42 PM by Anjae »
Me - 43
H - 46
M 16 yrs at separation
S - 15
S13
S8
BD April 2015
OW 20 - Now 22
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#128: September 18, 2016, 12:23:24 AM
I beleive my h is along the lines of intermintent limility. From some things he says it has sounded like he has tried to break it off with ow since maybe may of this year. When you say its a long process to end how long? I know my h ants to fix things but doesnt know how. I beleve he thinks reconcilation is hopelss .Is there anything to say or do at this point? My h does not pursue me but if i call he will talk or he will call me right back? I asked him to meet and he said he would have a cup of coffeee with me ? Is that ok or should i be waiting for him to pursue me?
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L
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Re: Ask a Mentor 8
#129: September 24, 2016, 07:36:10 AM
Hi mentors ! I posted on my thread much more detail but I didn't get a response so looking for some opinions on this : it's been 3 1/2 half years since BD and we are friendlier now and can talk more as friends ...I'm wanting to know ....if us being friends is relieving him from all his guilt and he thinks ....ok she's over it now and we can all move on to our new lives finally ...

He seems much more happier and I'm thinking it's because he's relieved of guilt ? Please take a look at my post for more detail ...thanks SOOO MUCH!
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BD 4/13- found text on to ph to OW-told him to leave
Been living with OW and her kids after leaving his family
Bought a motorcycle and started drinking after 15 years
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