[in it]

Just a reminder..

It's not beneath these MLcer's to RECORD phone conversations or record you in person. It's very easy with mobile phones.

Give them nothing they can use to try to prove you are the one who is unstable.

It happened to me.

[Ready2Transform]

Depending on what state you live in here in the USA, that can be a felony.

http://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations

Eleven states require the consent of every party to a phone call or conversation in order to make the recording lawful. These "two-party consent" laws have been adopted in California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Washington.

[in it]

Thanks for that info Ready2

My state isn't on the list. But I got him back good. Well.. actually... he did it to himself.

The left 15 messages on a friend's (whom I was staying with at the time) answering machine.

He provoked then recorded me the day of the DV incident at his house when I was leaving.

[in it]

Bump for Black Hen

[MsT]

Note to self: don't answer phone.

[in it]

Yep. It goes both ways. That's the tough part. A ringing phone does not have to be answered.
After 1st BD when the ex would call ( and he called a lot) it would send the oldest and I into a tailspin. I had a landline then.
It got so bad I actually changed the ringer tone on the phone.
I answered every. friggin. time.
When I posted here about what I was going through with him. 2 hours conversations that essentially went NO WHERE etc.
Some would respond to that posting "He's not done with you yet".
Well I'm done with him and the only way they are going to get that message is YOU have to stop talking to HIM.
Besides giving them a mixed message.. it isn't good for your mental health.

[in it]

Well in 8 more days and 5 years divorced and 2 years of total NC. I firetrucked up for three years d!cking around with the ex.

No more listening to the abusive disgusting things he used to say to me. So he could listen to me cry.

No more feeling "sorry" for him. Or trying to be understanding, polite or kind.

No trying to make him feel loved, needed, or wanted. I must have had something seriously wrong with me at some point in time.

 He destroys the family and I'm being kind to him??..I must have been nuts to think he's see the value in having a family.

No more wondering if I'll walk out of a restaurant and he'll be sitting at the curb. No more bull$h!te emails and "We'll talk" messages. Keeping me right where he wanted me.

 Just waiting for the day when he'd wake up and smell the coffee.

Maybe it would be the next conversation we'd have..maybe it would be next week..maybe... maybe.... maybe..Oh I wonder if he's thinking of me..oh I wish I had done something differently...Oh! he put 'we" in an email..that MUST MEAN SOMETHING! Stringing me along like a pro. Driving me nuts

 firetruck that.

Until I finally ended it.

 No more of him just walking into where I work like it was ok to do that. No more pulling into my driveway unexpected.

If there's an OW/OM in the picture anybody ought to love themselves enough to not talk to them. They are not worth the pain or the time.

I have no idea if the ex has another ow and I could give a firetruck less.

It isn't giving up- it's knowing when you have had ENOUGH.

Enough of his anger
Enough of his rage
Enough of his issues (whatever they are) I wasn't put on the planet to fit into them. I'm not going to analyze him..too much of a waste of my time.

No more drama, nor more games, no more bull$h!te.

I don't give a $h!te. I don't take any $h!te. I am not in the $h!te business.

No more ABUSE. Or disrespect.

What is allowed continues. Take your power back and heal.

[Wildfire]

I stumbled across this blog (House of Mirrors) and am posting it here in case it is of any use/help to others.

It is the real-life experiences of a woman who grew up in a narcissistic home. Her posts are easy-to-read and down-to earth. She seems to have a lot of awareness about herself, her family members, and NPD. She shows great insights into what it is like to deal with someone with NPD.

I found this particular post (How to Cause Narcissistic Injury Without Even Trying) really informative and eye opening:

http://house-of-mirrors.blogspot.com/2013/03/how-to-cause-narcissistic-injury.html

[in it]

It's an excellent resource ..thanks  WF!

[Blackhen]

I've put "I am not in the $h!te business!" on my rah rah board next to my latest inspirational quote. It's from Mad Men - the character who said it is in early MLC and in denial about his past and about to come unravelled by it, and he's addressing another character who will undoubtedly become unravelled by trying to deny hers, but it also spoke to me about moving on being a choice. A "cuts both ways" kinda reminder, if you like!

He said:
"Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened."

 

Congrats on your two years of NC, In it!