[MsT]

Glad to hear you're happiness is back! It's not about what life throws at you, it's about what you do with it when you get it, I guess.
Thanks for the props on the garbage disposal. I've never been one to back down from a challenge, and I guess that helps me stand. This is a really dang effed up challenge, though, watching my help-meet being devoured inside out by his own personal demons while he wrecks everthing in his path like tasmanian devil on meth.

[MIMIx]

journaling,

This morning I decided to go back over my posts from the past...just to see my own journey.  I'm not really shocked to find, but am  rather surprised by, all the ups and downs...over and over. the yo-yo effect.  I have also learned that, many times,  I have really not been able to truly express myself in words.  I guess this is all par for the course.

I can say that being in limbo is both difficult and easy at the same time.  Difficult because your future is so uncertain, easy because it gives you time...precious time. 

Apart from my current situation with H, I also have so much other noise in my life.   It's such a burden!  Elderly parents needing help, moving them out of their homes, finding long term care, kids having families, moving them out of their homes to bigger homes...feels endless. Where the heck is Freedom 55?   

So,  I'm trying to methodically work my way through it all, one issue at a time.  Crossing them off my list as I go along.  It's so hard to be patient.  And, of course, everything takes TIME.  I know that my life will be so much better when i don't have all of these things to deal with any longer. 

 Is anyone else facing this kind of thing?  Do you feel the same way as me?

[MIMIx]

MeNow...where's our song of the day?

[MIMIx]

Forum friends,

im looking for advice tonight.

My H has been away for a bit.  I was hoping that he would return with a fresh outlook on life.  Nope.  He's frustrated with his present situation and just wants to divide our assets.  He wants to buy his own place.  he does not want to come home.

I really don't want to split up our stuff.  I still regard our things as OURS. I've tried so hard to protect our money and our home.  Splitting our things is a HUGE fear for me.

Does anyone have any advice as to how I should handle this?  Is it as hard to do as I am thinking?   Should I just throw caution to the wind and let it all go...get it over with? 

[in it]

 Most people here advise let him do the heavy lifting. If he wants out make him do the work. Ignore him.

You can take control and if you want to consult a lawyer for a legal separation. Protect yourself financially.
 
Or you can keep dealing with him and the fear of what he's going to do next.


Sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate already.

[MIMIx]

I do have a lot on my plate In It.  I've never had so much to deal with.  I'm being buried alive.

I like your advice of letting him do the heavy work.  I've been trying to ignore him.  I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.  Do I just keep saying "no, I don't agree" to everything? 

 

[MyBrainIsBroken]

journaling,
I know that my life will be so much better when i don't have all of these things to deal with any longer. 

 Is anyone else facing this kind of thing?  Do you feel the same way as me?

I don't have to deal with any of that any more. It was horrible when I was going through it. My sister and my brothers all moved away so I was the primary contact for my parents. Now the kids are gone, wife is gone, Mom passed in 2003, Dad passed in 2008. Recently I keep thinking I should call them. Haven't had that happen for several years. Life is really simple now. And empty. Mostly empty.

I really don't want to split up our stuff.  I still regard our things as OURS. I've tried so hard to protect our money and our home.  Splitting our things is a HUGE fear for me.

I'm going through the same thing. And since my wife moved out I'm the one in the house with all of the stuff and I still use it regularly. Lately I've been thinking I should burn everything to the ground. Which would be ironic because I was hired 23 years ago to replace a guy who went to jail because he was going through a divorce and burned his house to the ground. History repeats itself. Hopefully I can learn from history and not end up in jail.

I'll be following along to see if anyone has any more practical ideas.

I just realized I'm not exactly a bundle of sunshine tonight. Sorry. Blame it on the depression. 

[Wildfire]

I do have a lot on my plate In It.  I've never had so much to deal with.  I'm being buried alive.

I like your advice of letting him do the heavy work.  I've been trying to ignore him.  I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.  Do I just keep saying "no, I don't agree" to everything?

If you don't agree, then just keep telling him that. Yes, let him do the heavy work. Do what feels best and right for YOU. If he is dragging his feet but you get to place where you need to protect yourself legally or financially then you may need to file for legal separation or divorce.

Know this: His MLC is like a freight train going down the tracks. Part of him doesn't want to be on that train and another part is sucking him onto it like being sucked into a vortex. There is nothing you or he can do to stop it. And if you try to stop it, you will only end up getting run over by the train. Step aside and let the train go by. The sooner you can let him go, the sooner you will gain your sanity back. He will try everything he can and ping pong back and forth to try to find happiness. He will likely destroy everything before he hits rock bottom. This will get worse before it gets better. I am sorry to sound so pessimistic but I am just presenting reality.

[in it]

Just ignore him he'll get the message. If he wants to get it started let him do it. Mostly they don't because they don't want to look like the "bad guy"

But do NOT allow him to abuse you or drive you nuts about you doing it.

You have more important things to focus on then what he currently wants. The friggin world doesn't revolve around him.

[MIMIx]

Mbib,

I'm sorry that your life feels empty.  It's so awful, isn't it?   

You  just have to pick yourself up and do something about that.  Get a plan for happiness.  Don't rely on others to help you out. Do it yourself, for yourself.