[MIMIx]

In it,

I think I have more control than I give myself credit.  I have tremendous personal support from my great kids, my family, my coworkers.  I have great hobbies too.  My health is good too.

  The things I am struggling with are all the extra things happening in my life...my poor mom, longterm care, her house sale etc.  Its been really taxing.  I just keep up with the self- love talk...keep smiling, be happy, be grateful.  It all will pass.

In it, I am sorry that you cannot get some of your things.  But, i can understand that it may not be worth the aggravation of opening it all up again.  I guess once my h takes stuff and his share of the money, I may actually feel relief.  Life won't be the same, but I will rebuild.  I just have to believe the Universe has bigger plans for me.

[in it]

That's what you have to do..stay postive.

 In many ways it's worked out for me. Many friends donated things and I have rededicated the older things. It has helped me forget old bad memories and helped create new ones.

I don't have much left from that old life. I do wish I had some of the sentimental things that cannot be replaced..but I simply will not deal with him to get them. He also has handguns.

It took me 4 months to get my personal papers back..I threatened a court order for them. By then I had copies made of everything.

I can pretty much assure you it will be a RELIEF to end that part of the craziness.

[MIMIx]

So, today I've braced myself for a visit from my H.  He hasn't shown up or called.  A bit of a relief for me.

To go backwards a bit to mid February ,

H left the city to go and visit the kids.
He called me from the halfway mark to let me know where he was and that his drive was going well.
H called on the morning of Valentines Day.
H has not called since. 
Returned back to our city.
Told kids he wants to immediately divide up our stuff and then take off with his friend.
Oh, my aching head.  I have no words.

Today I expected H in my driveway...bright and early.
Nope.
Hasn't called, hasn't come by.
I called to retain a lawyer today...$395/hr...no free consult.
will keep her in my back pocket until I need her.  Nobody is siphoning money off me like that.

[in it]

There you go. Half the time they will not show up.

 Now don't call or text or anything and the next time he tries to do this do not respond. Don't answer the phone don't text back NOTHING. Take him out of the equation and breathe.

There's no other lawyer you can find with a free consult?

[MIMIx]

In it,
Actually, I rarely call or text him at all.  No worries there.  Sometimes I wonder if this is a good or bad thing.  I just don't know.  He normally really likes to feel connected.  I have a photo that I would like to share with him one day soon...when it seems right.  Just a cute grandchild photo.

I hate to guess, and I promised myself I wouldn't do it, but I think he felt he had to leave the kids place because he was there too long, and then was feeling  miserable to have to go back to his other,,old temporary place.  Frustrated with his situation. 

If he shows up asking, I'm just going to say that im not interested in dividing up our stuff.  It's very complicated and I don't feel like doing it. That's it.

I watch the banking very closely.  If I notice spending, I will pull it all out very quickly and invest it in locked-in stuff.

[in it]

Does he just randomly show up without letting you know first?

[MIMIx]

No. He calls first.  He is extra extra polite too...like a very nice guest.  Seriously!  It's all just a game, I think.  What he does do, is come here while I am at work.  And he always leaves a kind callIng card...like mowing the lawn/snowblowing the driveway...bringing the bins back from the curb...Crazymaking.

[in it]

Of course it is..he's trying to keep you off balance.

[MIMIx]

Hello Forum friends

Today, its all about empowerment. 

I've lived the storm of having a MLC spouse.  I know what it is like to face uncertainty every day, the pain, the turmoil.  Its okay to work your way through all the emotions.  This is the way through to the other side.

 I have worked so hard to KEEP ON MOVING.  I have had support when times have been tough.  There is still lots of uncertainty in my life.  But, do you what?  It will all be okay.  I can feel it.  I am TAURUS. I  am going to put my head down and crash my way right through the middle of this.

Have a listen if you wish

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UtnxsIBVm5s

All the best,
Mimi

[MIMIx]

Hello Forum friends,

I guess Spring brings sunshine, new life, and renewal.  I can feel it.

I feel that my Spring has brought me a lot of personal change...a lot of growth and reflection on the goodness in my life...just as it is. I guess being swamped with problems forces you to pause and reflect on this goodness.  Turns out, my life is exactly the way I want it.  I do not need to change it because it's great, just as it is.  In my opinion, its all about how you define satisfaction. 

My H seems to be in the same process of defining his own satisfaction.  It may not look the same as my definition, and that's okay.  We do not have to live by someone else's standards if they don't make us happy. He will eventually find the right fit for himself.  If we put our life back together, we will have to negotiate these definitions and find a suitable answer...one that works for both of us.  If not, life is still good.