[Thundarr]

I know there are plenty of people who will find you quite attractive(talking about women not me)

LMAO!  Thanks I needed that this morning!

-T

Methinks OP doth protest too much.  I think he likes your 'stache.  Lol!

[terrified_in_TN]

I figure he had to put that disclaimer in there; after all I do have Freddie Mercury as a profile pic LMAO

-T

(A disclaimer of my own:  I picked that pic because its the genre of music I like; not for ANY OTHER REASON LOL)

[Thunder]

Hello men,

I promise not to inject myself here too often.  I think this is a great idea. 
Men do express themselves very differently from women.  I'm looking forward to hearing what you guys have to say.

I think most of us have looked at marriage as something less attractive after going through this.
Both men and women.

Dj remarked on another thread:  "What is the advantage of marriage?? It's really just a contract to provide financial support after the relationship is over."

I understand that, it is very unfair for some men to have to support a woman after she dumps him but I see it from the other side.  My X wanted out of our 28 year relationship.  I didn't.  I owned a house when my H and I got married and made more money than my H did through out our M, but I was retired at the time of BD.  He made $30,000 more than I did and was angry he had to pay me alimony.  He thought he should just take his money and go.  Didn't matter what happened to me or how I was going to live on SS and a small pension.
I had no choice but to ask for alimony.

So please don't judge us all.  We're not all money grabbers.   I'm sure not living high on the hog.

Enjoy your new man cave.  Spill it!  (I'm covering my ears).   

 

[OldPilot]

I figure he had to put that disclaimer in there; after all I do have Freddie Mercury as a profile pic LMAO

-T

(A disclaimer of my own:  I picked that pic because its the genre of music I like; not for ANY OTHER REASON LOL)

I saw Freddy Mercury in Concert but you were about 8 years old then.......

   I'm sure not living high on the hog.

Dont worry neither are most of us,
Divorce tends to do that to you.

[nah]

My wife obviously wanted the "white picket fence" and "the good guy" when she was younger.  She never went through the "bad boy" phase.....until MLC.

I dont think the point is for us to change ourselves into BAD BOYS as that will only attract BAD GIRLS.
Not what I want at least.

I know there are plenty of people who will find you quite attractive(talking about women not me)

Sorry to inject yet again, but it's not really bad or good, it's confidence, a strutt, a look, unfortunately those things often come along with the "bad boys". 

[elray]

Quote from: OldPilot on Today at 07:00:45 AM
Quote from: terrified_in_TN on Today at 06:44:18 AM
My wife obviously wanted the "white picket fence" and "the good guy" when she was younger.  She never went through the "bad boy" phase.....until MLC.
I dont think the point is for us to change ourselves into BAD BOYS as that will only attract BAD GIRLS.
Not what I want at least.

I know there are plenty of people who will find you quite attractive(talking about women not me)

Sorry to inject yet again, but it's not really bad or good, it's confidence, a strutt, a look, unfortunately those things often come along with the "bad boys".

My point initially was that it isn't a "bad boy phase".  Don't be angry with your wife for having a natural attraction.  It's encoded in her as much as your female sexual biases.   She has desires for both bad boy and a nurturing protective pair bonding.  We all have some bad boy in us. Some more than others.  Mlc simply releases social inhibitions but long term marital success hinges on being able to tap into both sides of your male nature.

You have the same duality in your desire.. A lady in the street and a wh*re in the sheets.  So don't be so quick to judge her desire as bad or "something She needs to find elsewhere".  You may very much enjoy releasing that side of yourself.

[terrified_in_TN]

...  So don't be so quick to judge that desire as bad or "not something you can fulfill".

  I hear what you are saying.  And I do understand completely.  I'll be the first to admit, I guess I'm not the most masculine fellow in the world, but I am not about to run out and get a dozen tattoos and start doing 8 balls of coke on Saturday nights LOL.  I am way more understanding the most men, BELIEVE me-but the part I can't get through my thick head is the sheer meanness of them.  We have spent almost half our lives together and even shortly after she left she was "fishing" to make sure I was still an option.  Then one day she hit the b*tch switch and has been that way ever since, and I am left wondering "what the hell did I do???"

  But yes we men have that duality as well too.  Attracted to the "dirty girls".  Dirtier the better.  But not necessarily someone you bring home to meet mom.   

-EDIT-  I meant to add that although its true about being attracted to the "dirty gals", for the most part, that non sense is behind me.  At this stage in my life, I will take commitment and an emotional connection over an acrobat in the bedroom.

-T

[elray]

Most of her rage is misplaced anger.  Typical  mlc script.  But maybe in some small part that she can't enunciate she is mad at you for not being the strong man she needed.  I'm not talking about getting tattoos.  I'm talking about standing up and doing a garage project or probably 1000 other small shyt tests you can look back and see. 

I see that in my experience.  I've used my time to dive into that side of myself and it has been personally rewarding. 

[terrified_in_TN]

In some way you may be right, but I think there is more to it than that...

Again, this is MY case...I am non confrontational; so when the hard business needed to be taken care of-she did the heavy lifting.  Example...this goes back a long long ways....Neighbor across the street was cutting grass, and threw a rock through the back window of our truck at the time.  She was the one who went over and approached them concerning that (that story actually had quite a good, funny ending...as it turns out-that neighbor owned an auto glass shop at the time LOL).

But, in OTHER areas I would say I went above and beyond:  She NEVER did the yard work.  She never had to cut grass, not even ONCE.  I took care of ALL "fix its".  Like I mentioned in my thread, I am a HUGE DIYer, and one of those guys that just have "the knack" for all things electronic and mechanical.  I'm sure other guys might be able to say this, but how many other guys do you know that rebuilt their own automatic transmission in their house AND it actually worked afterward LOL (put 100K miles on it before selling the car).  I was the bread winner.  But she always did feel "inadequate" concerning how much "bread" she brought home compared to me (and now that we are divorcing, she wants as much bread from me as she can get LOL ironic).  I did ALL the bills.  I could go on and on.

I do believe you might have a point, but in this case I really do think its mostly a physical carnal thing:  He is tall, dark, handsome, young, and all tattooed up.  Me, I am average, and conservative looking, receding hairline, wrinkles developing, etc.  The thing is, he will never amount to anything.  Total loser.  But I believe it was in it that said it earlier "its not about the money or sex", so I guess the one thing I have going for me is no longer appealing to her.

-T

[Darth Obo]

Great thread guys and good start so far. For the ladies who have responded positively and are lookinginfor some Iinsight to how we think, feel and express then welcome.

So glad to finally see a place like this on HS.

However, for personal reasons, I will be bowing out; not just from tbe thread, but HS completely. This is for a couple reason:

1) I feel the direction I am going and at the stage I am at now, I have outgrown it or otherwise need to get on with my new life.

2) some recent events that have occured around the HS community have given me cause for concern about the safety and privacy of information and topics I have disclosed about my personal, life and situation. I fear that data could be exposed and used as a weapon against me. These concerns were brought up multiple times by more than one person but I feel they were not properly addressed or otherwise ignored.

WARNING - If you are a part of the alt chat thread, beware.....there are members there that keep records of the chats and have threatened to use these against members by sending it to their spouses! Until this is addressed and corrected.....you are not safe there!!!!

I wish all of you the very best and peace to all of you! Perhaps I may return down the road to check in.....maybe not.

Thanks to all of you for the support and comradiere!

Now, to go rule the Galaxy in proper Sith form! 


Darth Obo