People I was interested in in the past (like only 2 thus far) had no interest in me. And vice versa. Fate.
When I first joined my current dance class, most of the men didn't want to dance with me. Now I have men from my dance class being all touchy feely and when I give off my usual don't-come-near-me vibe, they still grab me to show me dance steps even after I had expressed disinterest. All I can think of is, you may be 10-20 years older but that doesn't mean I'm a kid. That's manhandling and it's so rude. Major turn-off. I go there just for exercise since I hate sports unless it's artistic like dance, not to hook a guy.
And just last week, the owner of a drink stall (been there less than 10 times but he had been friendly recently). He wanted to know if he could ask me something. I said sure. He asked me if I was married. I said no. He said you probably have a bf then and I said no. Then as I turned to walk to my table with my drink, he said within earshot of all the customers: "If you have no bf then can I be your bf?" OMG. Even if he was kidding. Please.
Yes, I'm looking for a better deal. So are you.
I joined dance classes because I needed to get out of the house after BD and expand my social network, I didn't really attempt any dating for two years...It's been my experience it's only manhandling when the man is unattractive in some way. I've watched this play out numerous times in social events where men have approached women in an identical manner, simply asking her to dance, the unworthy guy gets a terse "No thanks" or scowls, the worthy doesn't. The top 20% of guys get 80% of the approval of the women in the room.
The fellow who owned the drink stall was simply cutting to the chase and not wasting time. Your reaction would tell him right away if you were receptive or not, it's a "nothing ventured, nothing gained" approach. Your reaction would also indicate qualities about your personality that he would either find attractive or distasteful.
Artistic dancing aside, and yes it is great exercise, but in reality it's an excuse for two people to get extremely close and even touch and put their hands on each other in an "accepted" way. It's essentially an accepted safe form of "kino", especially applied in a club environment. Look at some of the club dancing out there; it's essentially sex with your clothes on! Now I understand you all took dancing classes / lessons for your particular reasons. A lot of people take lessons to meet people, not just for the exercise or to learn a social skill. It's a way to mingle closely / physically with the opposite sex! it is estimated that either the primary or secondary LL for most men is Physical Touch!
Agree with the reasoning whether it is considered manhandling or not! It's based on whether the man is attractive enough for the woman to allow him to touch them!
I agree that the guy at the stall was just being up front and asking; he was honest that he was obviously attracted to you, is all! From what you typed, ("OMG. Even if he was kidding. Please."), I am guessing you were visibly disgusted with him and your body language & probably a scowl or eye roll confirmed it!
I'm curious as to why? Was he physically repulsive? Was it just that he was forward? Was it because you think he is beneath you status-wise?
Just curious is all.
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MAN CAVE 3