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Author Topic: MLC Monster What is life with the OW like?

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MLC Monster Re: What is life with the OW like?
#100: April 08, 2015, 07:26:39 AM
I guess when you think about it there has to be some good moments with a ow/om or they wouldn't have stayed with them.  Couldn't be all dome and gloom.

In the beginning there has to be excitement and addiction.  As we all experience with someone new.  It's after they get to know the person that they can see them clearly.
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#101: April 08, 2015, 08:21:36 AM
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after he’s through this crisis, wait five years, take out a wooden paddle and whack him on the ass for doing this to you!
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#102: April 08, 2015, 08:25:21 AM
Quote from: Thunder on April 08, 2015, 07:26:39 AM
In the beginning there has to be excitement and addiction.  As we all experience with someone new.  It's after they get to know the person that they can see them clearly.
I suspect it's probably way better than anything we've ever experienced. I believe most OPS are narcissistic, narcissists are experts at love bombing at the beginning in order to strongly hook their victim, and I think the MLCers usually start out depressed, so I think it must be like going from 0 to 160 mph in a quarter mile, a totally exhilarating mind rush like they've never experienced. I think that's why it's so difficult for mlcers to disconnect from the affair, because in the beginning the fantasy was real, or at least the OP made it feel that way. Then they keep the mlcer longing for those days to return and believing that it's their fault that the fantasy has gone away.
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#103: April 08, 2015, 08:34:14 AM
Wow, like a drug the OM / OW seems to be like.  :-[
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#104: April 08, 2015, 08:49:28 AM
my h has likened his relationship with ow as an addiction. he recognizs it as such which is why he goes back and.forth as much as he does. he has said he needs to get her poison out of his system so he can leave her.
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Me 40
H 43
SD 22 D20 S14 S10
bomb drop  october 2013
secret trip with OW June 2014
moved out to live with OW July 2014
left state with ow to go to treatment Nov 2014
Ow gave birth to OC June 2015
h is on probation back here at home
H married ow dec 2015 while still being legally married to me
H returned home 4/17
EA turned PA
still says he loves me but he has to grow as a person
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#105: April 08, 2015, 09:13:14 AM
I'm pretty sure mine looks just like that bird in the video. OW has him mesmerized somehow, but I know him and if he were awake through all of this, he'd never step anywhere near her.
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#106: April 08, 2015, 06:13:24 PM
Quote
my h has likened his relationship with ow as an addiction. he recognizs it as such which is why he goes back and.forth as much as he does. he has said he needs to get her poison out of his system so he can leave her.
No idea how it is for H and OW but H has an addictive personality, can't do things in a balanced way, has to go overboard and do things ad nauseam, so would think this would be no different.  When we met he was stuck on me too and I didn't mind, so I guess even if it is volatile, their relationship with OW is "real love". 

When you think of an addict, sure they know their drug isn't good for them, but there's no better high like it, and they will go for that high at all costs.  There are also "functioning" alcoholics who maintain a somewhat "normal" existence, good jobs, no-one would ever depict them as alcoholics and they fool some people, but underneath they are still alcoholics with addictions.

I wonder how easy it is to give up that relationship, especially if OP is obsessive and doing whatever they can to get them back, and even more so if they are looked at as being a cash cow.
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#107: April 08, 2015, 07:00:56 PM
I believe that there is a massive rush initially , to be sexually involved ith a new person after 35 years of marriage . That this "rush" is extremely powerfull , lust filled and addictive . I truly believe that this new excitement , passion, desire etc .. must be mind blowing . My husband has insisted for 16 months .. he felt none of that . Hmmmm?. We have had ragefull words .. does he think I am stupid ? .  He will not alter his story " just to make me happy or match up to stories i have read etc" . He will not move from this statement no matter what I believe to be true . He said " I guess it was exciting initially , but was just sex and at the end , there was no sex at all ". he remembers NO mind blowing sex, no addiction . He was there ( he thinks ) because she made him feel like he was "okay" ( not a bad person ) , he was admired, she thought he was awsome and was always incredibly excited to see him. And then that fizzled . He left her like she was roadkill, never looked back, never had any contact again. HARD to believe .......
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Married April 1985
5 children
Bomb Drop April 2013
Thrown out of house August 2013
Affair discovered November 2013 (i guessed who)
Home December 3 2013
The Journey Of Reconciliation .. is for the brave .

Anger is like a candle in the wind ... it blows out the light of all reason.
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#108: April 09, 2015, 08:03:33 AM
barbiedoll,

I think they can go both ways.  Yours use her to feel better about himself, no great, exciting sex..but I do believe there are also men who do get such a rush being with a new woman and their sex life is exciting.  At least for awhile..

Either way the partner is addicting.
I have never understood how they become so addicted to these ow's/om's.   I can understand them maybe thinking their in love but after realizing it's not what they want they still seem addicted enough to stay with them.  They try to leave them but go right back to them.  Sometimes multiple times.  I still don't understand why they stay addicted to them. 
I must be slow.  lol
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
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Re: What is life with the OW like?
#109: April 09, 2015, 08:10:18 AM
thunder

my thoughts exactly my h is still with ow and has become a vanisher just a few months ago he was telling me he didnt want to go through with divorce etc now he is still with the trollop he lived at home for 2 years then holtels then has lived with her for a year now and it was my birthday yesterday and I got not a jot form him no happy birthday nothing or even a card yet at christmas he was buying me the perfume he used to buy me all the time , sending me cutesy christmas card then all of a sudden he doesnt feel anything for me he has never said that he loves ow though so am i just imagining this is amlc its been 3 years now and I really dont know anymore ,
he can have his addiction with the trolllop but oh i dont know anymore. hugs
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