[Slow Fade]

Interesting. My H is horribly dyslexic and I'm sure ADD......S12 has ADD with Tourettes.

Can anyone say brain chemistry?

I rewrote all of his essays and I helped him study, because he could not grasp the literature , he had a hard time reading accurately.

I did this for mine when he was studying for tests and sending in applications.......
 

[Anjae]

Just wanted to post this...as I have noticed that so many of the MLCers seem to be ADD and/ or dyslexic.

To me, at least while in Replay, MLCers look more like bipolar people on a very long high with huge deeps.

I'm the dyslexic one, not Mr J. I can tell you that on days like yesterday and today, that I'm mentally very tired (and also a bit physically tired), things become a little strange.

By now it is probably easy for most of you to know when I'm quite tired because the words start to be written with "mistakes". My brain reads one thing, what is written is another.

But what kicks my dyslexia in high mode is tiredness/stress/exhaustion, not the other way round. So, for me, MLC is stress, plus several other hormones/brain chemicals out of control.

Brain chemistry indeed, but I still don't think dyslexia means someone is going to have a MLC and I still have big reservations about all those ADD and ADHS diagnoses.

Let alone the fact that we LBS tend to, in hindsight, start to attach lots of conditions to our MLCers.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

My wife is definitely dyslexic. I tutored her through high school.

[Ready2Transform]

Brain chemistry indeed, but I still don't think dyslexia means someone is going to have a MLC and I still have big reservations about all those ADD and ADHS diagnoses.

I don't think dyslexia leads to MLC, but if the majority of MLCers (not just referring to this thread) have dyslexia, that would be a vital piece of data in finding underlying clues to treatment or prevention, I would think. 

Anyone else ever notice from following stories here that there are a disproportionate amount of MLC/LBS couples who parented twins, in comparison to how many you come across in day-to-day life?  Now I wouldn't say, "Parents of twins are more likely to have MLCs" but it's still a bit odd that so many here have.  Just an observation.

[forthetrees]

Read this today. I know that exMIL smoked during exh´s in utero experience. Guess that makes it a true FOO issue. That would mean that his CNS was altered from the get go. Add some football hits to the head and you´ve got some ongoing damage.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/24/smoking-while-pregnant-_n_6930678.html?cps=gravity_2425_4227198342822706450

[kikki]

I too have noted that there seems to be a disproportionate number of twins born to people on the board Ready. 

Those pics of the babies reacting to cigarette smoke is pretty sobering.
That is a good point.  Not sure that my MIL smoked, but my FIL smoked like a trooper.
Wonder if they'll further investigate with other substances - alcohol for instance. The effects of that in utero are better known and understood, because the effect can be more obvious if it's great enough (fetal alcohol syndrome).

[Anjae]

I don't think dyslexia leads to MLC, but if the majority of MLCers (not just referring to this thread) have dyslexia, that would be a vital piece of data in finding underlying clues to treatment or prevention, I would think. 

It would. But I doubt the majority of MLCers, on the board or outside of it, have dyslexia. I'm still to meet a real life one who had it. And even on the board, I don't get the idea that most MLCer have dyslexia.

What I see is LBS over analysing any "odd" behaviour their MLCer may have shown in the past, even if not permanent. Forgetting that we, LBS most likely have also had our share of "odd" behaviour. 

The twins things I have never notice. I have notice that many MLCers and their LBS have children with special needs and that some LBS had very small children (or were pregnant), when their MLCer left.

FTT, not those many decades ago lots of women smoke during pregnancy (more than those current 10% in the US) and men were heavy smokers. It may have some impact in the brain, but I also do not think it leads to MLC.

My mother smoked before and after I was born (after she stop breast feed me). And  it is fare to assume that she smoked in the first weeks of pregnancy when she did not knew she was pregnant. She has stop smoke either in the late 70's or early 80's. Don't recall, but is was long ago.

My dad, on the other side, even if he had a degenerative illness that become worst and worst if one smoked, never stop smoke. And he died a horrible death because he did not stop smoke. 

Of the 7 of us, the children, only 2 of the boys smoked. Those 2 have almost, if not totally quit. Even because the boys can inherit dad's disease and they know it.

MIL, to my knowledge, never smoke. FIL, I only recall a very occasional pipe. Maybe the odd cigar, but not regular cigarette smoking.

Alcohol while pregnant/breast feed may have some effects. Other than that, a glass of wine or a beer once in a while don't seem to cause much harm. Other drugs we know that if the mother is an addict the child may born an addict. And of course we know children's of alcoholics have a bigger chance of becoming an alcoholic.

But none of those addictions seems to be a prerequisite to MLC. 


On another note, has anyone read the news about that Germanwings pilot that, apparently, lead the plane to crash on purpose and who is said to suffer from severe depression? The lastest news say he was on sick leave for mental issues/depression but never said so to the company.

How depressed/stressed to you have to be to lead a plane full of people to crash?  That horrible tragedy start newspapers articles, tv news debates, etc about mental illness, depression, stress, etc. It always seems that something truly horrible, and very visible, needs to happen for people to start to pay attention to mental and psycological issues.

[Jagger]

I would like to respond to Angae ,

 You do not have dyslexia...not the way I  see it in my husband or my son. I could give you examples of how they write....suffice it to say, they can spell a word correctly 3 times out of ten and when they do not...it is written in phonetics. You are not writing on this website in your mother tongue, Yet you can write in English better than most of the American population. My husbands first language is French. He can speak it rather well but he can not for the life of him string a coherent written sentence in French.

My husband had/has a learning disability. Technology has helped him somewhat but believe me, you would as I do still see that he is illiterate.

I have spent the last 3 years of my life researching and conferring with experts in the field of learning disabilities...for  My son...something that my H's mother did not do because of ignorance and lack of resources.

ADD is exactly that...attention deficit disorder...it does not go away...as they once thought as children age. It is a lifetime affliction that destroys relationships and careers. Confused thinking , impulsiveness and lack of focus.

My h has always been impulsive as a child , his mother has many endearing stories of his impulsiveness as a child. It is not so endearing when he became a man , husband and father  to 3 children.

I have been In a relationship with my h for over thirty years, my inlaws thanked me profusely for helping him through university, we spent 27 years together, as as strong couple. His cultural and religious upbringing matched my own.

I had no firetrucking idea what I was in store for at midlife.

I had the fortune to have twins as well as a 4 yr old daughter . So many people told me...my kids are like twins, they were born 22 months apart...no, I am very sorry, it is not the same. 2 babies at the same time is extremely stressful. I did not sleep more than 3 or 4 hours  a night of interrupted sleep for 4 years.

Having twins is an extremely stressful event. The pregnancy is brutal and high risk. I went into prelabour at 28 weeks, spent a week In the hospital pumped up on meds and away from my daughter. I spent the remainder of my pregnancy on bed rest which was very taxing on our family.

What I am trying to say is...having twins is an extremely stressful event, people who struggle with ADD have a hard time with normal life events.

I am not looking for excuses to justify my H's behavior , but I do believe that his preexisting dyslexia/ add made him weak and ripe for a midlife crisis of incredible proportions.

We had two other set backs in the same time period...my father died unexpectedly and my h was conned out of a lot of money in a business deal that he made shortly after my boys were born.

The perfect storm

Jgger

[patience.of.a.saint]

I have to agree that normal things can be stressful, and anything stressful is MORE stressful to someone with ADD. Mine can't be in crowds for very long or he will start to panic. Anything with pressure sends him off the deep end. And the pressure may just be what he perceives as pressure, like the speed in which you go once a light turns green...he will freak out that others behind him will get mad if you don't go fast enough...paranoia. He told me once that there are so many voices in his head, all talking at the same time. There is so much more to it than most people will ever begin to understand unless they have seen it firsthand. I would also say the depression and MLC magnify all of it.

[Jagger]

As a side note...when my son was finally diagnosed with dyslexia by both a psychiatrist and the school board, separately, they both then said we have to test him for ADD as usually they go hand in hand.

They were right , my son is now on meds for ADD and he is doing very well in school.

Jagger