[Absolutely Fabulous]

They seem to think that it's all about them, and that if that means that violence will get them what they want, then so be it. It doesn't matter if they hurt us emotionally or physically, as long as they get what they want.

I'm just making sure that I'm not contributing to his desperation.

[ruggedendurance]

M3G,

It's all ugly.   

Unfortunately.    You have yet another element to be aware of.

My gut says this is going to turn out okay for you.     I'm hoping I an right on this.

Pulling for you

[Absolutely Fabulous]

M3G,

It's all ugly.   

Unfortunately.    You have yet another element to be aware of.

My gut says this is going to turn out okay for you.     I'm hoping I an right on this.

Pulling for you

Thanks

[in it]

Just stay aware and notify the authorities of his possible behaviors if you see him. Stalking etc..

 I read the time it is the most dangerous for a woman is when she is leaving.

In your case.... he's lost control of what is going on.

That's what I was doing after he pretty much kicked me out. I came back to get my personal papers and clothes and see the girls if they were there.

The ex lost control of the situation after he called the troopers to have me removed from the property. He saw I wasn't afraid I was waiting for the troopers to show up.

That's when he shoved me and I hit the pavement.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

In it, man I'm glad you're away from that guy. Mine left me, so I'm hoping that he isn't twisting this around too much.

He's been stalking me for years already: reading my emails, my Messaging on FB, listening in on my phone calls, checking my cell phone, constant calls when I left the house, etc... So stalking wouldn't be something new. That was the being of MLC before BD.

I noticed that while he was here, he was getting constant texts. I don't know if there's an OW. But if there is, he's getting a taste of his own medicine.

He's filed for the divorce, and I'm not fighting him on it. I'm not going to try to stop it at this point either. He claims he wishes that things were different. Well, he's the one in control of this roller coaster, I'm not bailing him out on this one. Either he wants to stay married, or he wants to walk. If he walks, he suffers the consequences all on his own.

He did me a favor by not putting my name on the house, and having all the bills in his name: I get to walk away Scott free. And, I will walk away without any regrets at this point.

I really don't know which way he's going to go on this one. Will he go forward with the divorce, and things get uglier? Or, will he put the reins on it when he sees how much it will cost him? If he were in his right mind ( and not listening to that dysfunctional family and "friends" of his ), we wouldn't be here.

I'm trying to make sure that he doesn't feel desperate. It's a fine line. Not knowing what's going on in his head is unnerving. With so much hostility and anger towards me, monster has been in control since this began. I've seen glimpses of prisoner, but not enough to make me think that he's even close to hitting rock bottom.

Rugged, and any other men on this thread, do you think that the defeat in court has him thinking finally? Or, will this cause him to try more desperate acts?

Male input is really appreciated on this one.

[in it]

I'm pretty sure this one is afraid of authorities. Anything that would have to do with court or anything else.

As long as he leaves you alone..you should be ok. He sticks his head out of the hole?
 Call someone- file an incident report even if nothing can be done about it.

Tell me why would you consider staying married if you may have to live in fear of him?

[Medusa]

Not male but going to input, anyway.

I don't think we can predict what is going to happen regarding the defeat in court. It may send him to his bottom and it may not.

While I understand you not wanting him to feel desperate, 3, you aren't in control of that. Like you said, you're walking a fine line because his monster is out of control. But, I also think they need to reach a point of desperation so they do hit bottom. And therein lies the difficulty--especially for you. You don't know if he's going to do something unbelievably stupid.

They want to be in control, and things have to completely spin out of control before they can hit bottom. They have to lose everything.

You have no way of knowing what he's going to do. I stopped trying to figure it out with mine: he generally winds up doing the exact opposite of what I would predict, anyway. So step and and keep yourself and your girls safe.

I agree with In It as far as yours being afraid of the authorities. Why? Because you mentioned to me that he's so concerned about image. That right there tells me he probably won't do something stupid. He probably doesn't want his name splashed all over the newspapers. Could be wrong, but you know how the Corps in stills that kind of pride in them. Hopefully he will rely on that aspect of his training.

I'm still blown away by the fact that both of ours screwed up so much on the refinance that they didn't out our names on the mortgage.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

Medusa, I know right? It's like they're just asking to file bankruptcy. Call me later, I might be able to help you with your employment sitch.

In it, I'm not afraid of my H. He's been showing some glimpses of his core self. I still love my H. Medusa can tell you, Marines are a breed all their own. That pride/ego thing is really something to behold. I'm not sure what he'll do at this point. In the past he backed down, that was the pattern. I really don't know what's going on, and I've given up trying to figure it out.

I am going to assume that he's going to go through with the divorce. I'm preparing myself for it. We'll still have to go through mediation, or settle. I hold the cards on that one, Thank God. I'm not going to do anything at this point. I'm just letting him run amok throughout all of this. S*** it's all I can do. If he hadn't lost his f****** mind this wouldn't have happened.

[in it]

 

I know the ex lost his job . Well a position actually, by trying to strangle his supervisor years ago. I went right passed that one.

Angry men are dangerous.

Then they lay it off on us..that we're nuts. I must have been to have anything to do with him or even think he would mellow or mature with age.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

In in, like I've said before you're amazing. To have survived someone like that, and stay sane?