wow! ..this is interesting to me . Prior to my husband leaving for the land of oz to visit the wicked OW of the west , he was "rock solid ", rarely ( maybe never ) lost his temper , had himself under tight tight control all of the time. Even when he SHOULD have been angry and he LOOKED angry .. he would totally deny ( in a flat monotone voice) that he was the least bit angry. It was crazy !He denied almost every emotion that there is . At bomb drop everything about him changed . I swear his eyes belonged to someone else ( my other got the chills ) his arrogant posture was different , he sat in a chair all sprawled out like a defiant 15 year old , he strutted all different .. his "aura" was scary. My intuition went on high alert and I was very very reluctant to leave any of my kids or grandkids alone with him ... even to the backyard. He too is trained military, muscle bound construction, football, wrestling star .. blah blah all " he man. He was enraged by a new guy they hired at his work .. NEVER have I seen him unable to get along with someone as he very well liked and personable , But he hated this guy with a passion. My husband was the "alpha dog " at work, the "trouble shooter ", the guy who will get the job done , the hero and the best on the best . It was his identity and where many of his needs for acknowledgement, admiration, validation and pride were met . Then comes "Howard" that is the new up and coming alpha dog in a highly energized younger man body. Gives my husband a run for position number 1 and this is where I 1st saw absolute rage that he has to work with this ass%ole etc etc . Months I listened to that spewing rage .. Howard put my husband into MLC ( kidding of course, but something cracked ). I became very cautious around my husband as I saw total out of control rage and frustration at all times . He grabbed me at BD and pushed me up against the post on the deck and said " do not f-ing push me ". NEVER EVER has he touched me or ever said the f-word at me . He spit all over my glasses he was so enraged . He trapped my in the laundry room and would not let me out and he grabbed my little granddaughter off her feet. The last straw was when my youngest dauhters truck broke down and he had to go rescue her . He told her ( on the side of the highway ) to drive his f-ing truck back . You need a ladder to get into his huge truck and she was afraid to drive it on the expressways thru Toronto etc. So she said that she could not..she was afraid to. He had a stroke, told her to f-ing grow up , drive the f-ing truck etc . Horrified , she called me bawling her eyes out asking me " what is wrong with him mom??". I told her to get her purse out of her vehicle and start walking ( she could see a plaza) and do not talk, just walk away . So she did . I called him and told him I will call the police in 5 seconds if you dare try to force her to drive that truck . I kicked him out he next day . I do remember sitting well back from the table on the deck because I was worried he was going to flip it or smash it . We were afraid and it was getting worse. He does not remember things he did or said either . NO recall at all , is so shocking. His boss told me that my husband had such a rage attack at work that he was glad there was a desk between them. I could not believe it was the same person I have known for over 30 years .MY husband was never ever happy or content or settled during his entire period .. he was someone trying to shed his own skin in rage .So, his "OW" was certainly not making enough of a difference that he was "happy ". And , in a rage at "Howard" he quit his job. Still hard to acceot or belive he would ever ever quit a job like that .We were becoming more nervous and stressed out day after day ... It was better ( if there is such a thing ) after he was out of the house I assume that he did not rant and rage at his " OW hag".. she must have gotten his good side. The scars will take a log time to heal.
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The dangerous side of MLC