I have to believe it could, it would for me! Is he addicted to porn?
Not that I know of. If he is, what affect does that have?
Porn will mess with the mind. The one who uses it; begins to see the spouse as a 'sex object'; and reality interferes with fantasy...as they desire the porn; their sex drive will diminish; and they no longer desire their spouse; desiring only the fantasy that touts total perfection; something NONE of us can live up to.
There are several different types of pornography; there is the soft type that simply reveals naked bodies; and there is the hard core type that involves all kinds of strange things, and even animals.
It is not unusual for one who is addicted to porn to try and force their spouse to perform acts during sex that they would not normally do; to further fuel their fantasy..in that way they are trying to bring a fantasy to life.
One other thing, and this is from a spiritual point of view; when porn is viewed; and addiction gets a foothold; it is an open invitation to evil spirits; one of which that is known as the spirit of lust; the battle to give it up, is a hard one; the addiction renders the person nearly powerless against it.
My husband had porn problems when we first married; he put it aside at that time...I removed a great many magazines he had hidden in his house; and got rid of them.
This problem came back during his MLC; and the addiction was overpowering to him; and it nearly sucked him under. I observed his battle to overcome the addiction; and prayed for him daily.
During that time; he wanted nothing to do with me; I didn't look "good" enough for him; and he had NO desire for me..this was MLC complicated by sexual problems/addiction/MLC affair.
He did win the battle; but it took time for him to overcome all of it.
Make no mistake; Porn is an emotionally dangerous habit; and it will change the perception of the man who uses it.
The problem with ANY kind of addiction is the fact that over time, it will take MORE and MORE; to try and satisfy the demon within; and no matter how much they feed the beast, it will NEVER be enough..until they battle to overcome the addiction; in that process; IF they want to, they can win the battle.
Not to mention all of the viruses that can be introduced into a computer; the porn sites visited often carry trojan horses; keyloggers, and tracking cookies...they will gain a hard foothold in your computer.
I had to literally wipe the computer we had clean, reformat and reload the operating system...when I found out my husband was using porn; he had been accessing for over 8 months before I knew....and the computer went haywire, not long after I found out.
There are people who think porn is not wrong; I disagree; the guilt alone from the perceived adultery of looking at other naked women is enough to render a man helpless; and this is a possible aspect of the crisis...a return to things once forsaken; a knowing that it's wrong; and the guilt does its work on a person.
One of the aspects I've found in almost every case I've seen; has been some type of sexual problem within each MLC'er; whether caused by porn viewing; MLC affair, heavy drinking; heavy drug use; which are but a few of the cause and effect types of either not wanting sex, or even wanting a great deal of sex...there is NO middle ground, nor was there in my own case....it is generally one extreme or the other.
But this is a problem they must work out on their own; no one can do it for them...hormones DO play a part; but psychological damage from guilt and shame also play a part in their problem.
Maybe this will help...I remember thinking at first it was ME and MY fault; but it wasn't..because, again, what someone does to another; doesn't have anything to do with the person it's done to, and everything to do with the person that does it.
I know this may sound like a silly question......
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