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Author Topic: Interacting with Your MLCer No Contact III

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Interacting with Your MLCer Re: No Contact III
#100: August 22, 2017, 07:15:32 AM
I agree Thunder.
There's been pretty much NC with my H for some time now.  NC isn't my choice.  I've gone dark simply because it has just evolved that way.  We have no kids so there's not much of a reason for contact unless it has to do with the house/bills.  So, at least in my case, there's NC because there hasn't been a reason for contact. 

On the one hand NC concerns me with the "out of sight, out of mind" old saying.  And, on the other hand if I should contact about anything other than business, I think it will come across as pursuit or pressure.



 
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Re: No Contact III
#101: August 22, 2017, 07:24:34 AM
Hero, I don't believe in "out of site out of mind."  There is always "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
I think the MC thinks of us a lot more than we know.

I agree with you on the pursuit thing.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
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Re: No Contact III
#102: August 22, 2017, 07:30:38 AM
Quote from: Thunder on August 22, 2017, 07:24:34 AM
Hero, I don't believe in "out of site out of mind."  There is always "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
I think the MC thinks of us a lot more than we know.


I do hope you are right Thunder.
Seems as of late, with the NC, it just "feels" more like out of sight out of mind.....
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Re: No Contact III
#103: August 22, 2017, 07:54:11 AM
I'm sure it does Hero, but how often have we heard the MLCer's who came out their crisis say..they thought about us every day?

I do also think NC shouldn't be forever.  It should just be for the LBS to have time to heal and get stronger.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
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Re: No Contact III
#104: August 31, 2017, 04:01:23 PM
That's what it is for T.

The LBS takes back their power when they implement NC. It gives the LBS time and the peace to focus on themselves.  Affording them the time to heal and get stronger.

As far as duration? It's an individual thing.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: No Contact III
#105: September 13, 2017, 02:47:54 AM
Bump
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: No Contact III
#106: December 09, 2017, 04:28:08 AM
The Christmas season is on it's way..if you have tried everything except for NC try it this Christmas. Give yourself the gift of peace.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
V
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Re: No Contact III
#107: December 09, 2017, 06:37:35 AM
I agree! No contact was the best thing I did. (We are parents so there is some contact via text.)
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Re: No Contact III
#108: December 09, 2017, 02:53:12 PM
 :)
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
W
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Re: No Contact III
#109: December 10, 2017, 02:00:05 PM
Well I live in NC so I am a proponent if it's needed. Velika we don't do the electronic comms or any for that matter regarding the kids. She is hardcore NC herself. As for duration it is an individual thing I agree. I went 5.5 months as my longest which she eventually broke.

I'm NC currently again. HeroIam we have probably both been NC the equivalent of 27 out of 30 months. I've lived home 14 months and away 16 months. She always breaks NC to come get me. I've been home 90 days. If I break it down by hours, then we have not exceeded 24 hours of contact yet.

This is the state of her crisis. Depression and Withdrawal. I also agree with Thunder that it cannot be forever. I dont break NC ever so a lot of this hinges on my W. I'd still be NC had she not come in August.
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