[mountainbiker2]

Hi Dji, I constantly am thinking about that decision.

I feel like that will complicate things a lot for me, and I don't think the pain I will have to go through with divorce and dissolving our business will make me want to continue to stand or even consider reconciliation down the road. I do think it would help her get through her crisis though as you said, I foresee her going downhill fast and probably increase replay behavior a lot, which would be scary to watch.

I did see another comment about the actual number of success stories vs the number of MLCs happening, I guess it really doesn't make a difference between male/female as for both the actual number of successful reconciliations are pretty slim at this point, and I'm assuming that is because of the extremely long timeframe that it takes for the crisis to happen, the amount of pain inflicted causes LBSs to give up and move on long before that finishes.

[Split open and melt]

It's also worth mentioning that not all men who come here and post their stories stick around and continue to update us. There may be success stories out there that we never hear about...which is unfortunate.

[RoseTint]

Wondering if it's simply a factor of numbers.  It *appears* that more men than women experience midlife crisis and there's also the notion that women are more likely to seek out others and post online in places such as HS, so we read about more situations with men as the MLCer & women as the LBS.

[devistated]

Hi All,
        Thought I would add my experience to this discussion .
My W left two years ago at the end of December  2013.
She was very distant leading up to BD. The usual script...dont touch me etc etc.
My youngest Daughter informed me of her Mothers affair on FB after her Mother had left for a weeks holiday at a friends place.
Since then my w has traveled to Holland to meet with the "old" boyfriend and declares her undying love for him.
Leaving her Family and me devastated. She has since returned to Australia where we live and has little or no contact with myself or our Children.
I am more than happy to forgive my wife for her "little mistake" as she puts it. But she has told me she does not need my forgiveness.
She has now moved to another state and by all accounts is happy to continue with her "new life".

I have seen nothing in her behavior in the last two years to indicate any remorse or any intention to repair our Marriage of 25 years.
She has told people that she wants to move to Holland to be with this person and renounce everything that she had.
Would I take her back..........Yes because I believe that we had a good Marriage and somehow she has lost her way.
Will I stand for what I believe in....Yes. Will I wait forever......No.     

[ruggedendurance]

I'm thinking,
Good men have a tendency to move along.
JMHO

[devistated]

Do we really move along.
After the Women that we trusted and Loved for all those years just throw us away like yesterdays paper.
I think not.
It will take someone very very special to get my heart again.

[Made]

This is very good for me, thanks.

[Thunder]

You know I just wonder how long it takes them to reflect on the bizarre and crazy antics they did/said in the first year or so.

I have no R talks (so I have no idea what he thinks about this) with my X but if he ever does look back he'd almost have to laugh at how crazy he was.  Frantically cutting every gray hair off his body, working out like a maniac and going from one form of exercise to the next.  Does he even remember?

He no longer does all that but I wonder sometimes if he saw how much he changed.
Sorry, had nothing to do with the discussion.   

I agree with RoseTint.  I think it's that more women than men who seek help on line, etc.  I really think if men reconcile they would probably stop writing on sites like this so you don't really see all the men who have reconciled.  Women tend to stick around after to help others.
Doesn't make us better, we're just more likely to nurture others.

Men are fixers, women are the nurturers.   Just the way we are.   

[Dji76]

I know a bunch of guys from this site that no longer post here. Of the group (15+) there is only one i would consider a recon story. Healthy people eveuntally move on imo.

[Braveheart]

There are a bunch of us guys who originally were members here and on the "Life Two" forums who keep in touch on a private forum. Most of us are from the class of 2010-11 and to date none of the wives have come back, we still support one another on rebuilding our lives and compare notes about the process.