[How long have you and your spouse been together/married]

How long have you and your spouse been together/married

5-10 years

8 (7.2%)

10-15 years

11 (9.9%)

15-20 years

35 (31.5%)

20-25 years

24 (21.6%)

25-30 years

19 (17.1%)

Over 30 years

14 (12.6%)

Total Members Voted: 111

[nah]

Yep, pure script.

The first sentence of BD was, "you know this year hasn't been good".

Two years later he said he was pretending to be happy throughout our entire marriage (28 years). 

[Onward]

Two years later he said he was pretending to be happy throughout our entire marriage (28 years). 

Yep, apparently H was miserable for a while, then for years, then for the entire time too.

[nah]

I never put much thought into why they do this, and most do.

BD... It was "this year",

A letter a few weeks later said, he didn't know why HE changed, it wasn't my fault, he was fire trucked up and didn't know why.... we had many good memories, etc...

As time went on, it was the entire marriage.

Now the "entire marriage" speech, I didn't push the relationship question at all, he just went there.

So why the change?

Any ideas??

[LearningIamOk]

I was married 30 years at BD. He told me 5 years earlier that he "was very, very unhappy. We have nothing in common and I don't see myself being retired with you". I helped him out and filed for D 2 1/2 years after BD. We would have been married 34 years the year of the D.

[Thunder]

Learning, that's funny, mine said that too.  We had nothing in common.
I said oh really...and started naming off all the things we had in common...one right after another.

He never said that again.   

You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie about the facts.

[heroIam]

Correction for me:
Married 13 years at BD.
Total years married to date 15.

[MoreWillBeRevealed]

I seem to be in the lowest percentage--only together 7 1/2 years, married 4. But the hurt is still the same. However, I have found I cannot compare my situation to those of you married 20+ years. I couldn't even imagine that. I guess it makes me lucky. It was easier to move on.

[Roma]

6 and a 1/2 at BD

[Finding Hope]

24 years

[Jah63]

Thunder and learning it's amazing how they use the "we have nothing in common " line , my did too along with he knew first year he married me that he shouldn't of. Also got if he'd of met ow first he'd never of married me at all.