[Faith]

I particularly loved the day my h sat me down and with great sincerity told me that I needed to stop being in denial and come to terms with the fact that we have too many incompatibilities and always had. He told me that while he and OW are perfect matches for each other, I need to accept that I am too smart, too deep, too clean (his hygiene got funky after BD), and too healthy, and that I like to read and connect with people.  I asked him if he was criticizing me or helping me write a future dating ad?  He just looked at me and said, "I feel bad for you that you cannot accept these truths." 

Hahahaha!!!  My MLCer does this ALL the time!  Gives those exact kinds of answers that have nothing to do with the question asked.  Even after all this time I'm still amazed at how the same they all are.

[Faith]

Has anyone else's MLCer developed a new vocabulary since losing their minds?  Mine loves to compose long, attacking and shaming texts and emails for me and repeatedly uses words I have never heard him use in our 22 years together.  Some include:

Strive - I need to strive to be more positive.  Strive to move on.  He strives to be the great dad he's always been.

Children - our 14 and 17 year olds are now only referred to as "the children".  Before BD they were the kids or the girls.

Saddened - he is saddened by everything I do and say and saddened when things don't go his way.  Always saddened.

Stance - he is always "adopting a stance" of some kind or other

    

[Thundarr]

Yes!!  I never could put my finger on it, but you are so right!  My W uses words that were just never part of her vocabulary and I always wonder what she's been reading.  Oh wait, I know what she's been reading.  It's the script!

[Trustandlove]

Now that rings a bell -- like Thundarr, I couldn't put my finger on it....  but I, too, was wondering about the way he was writing....   now I see. 

[Wed2Him?Whatever.]

(Sung to the tune of The Addams Family)

They’re looney and they’re kooky
Delirious and goofy
Their OPs are so pukey
A spouse in MLC

Their outfits are ugly and
When people come to see them
Their dead eyes come to greet them
A spouse in MLC

"I must be happy" bullsh!t
They do their best to find it
They whine and moan and boo-hoo
Their texts and calls make us blue
A spouse in MLC

[Musica]

Nice one Wed!! You are very quick and clever   

My H has just arrived ... sat down with a book in his hand (Happy for No Reason!) then he said, you know there's no-one round here like me, who I can relate to. Mmm I said how do you mean? (We live in a quiet fairly affluent village in North England, where people mainly have a good lifestyle.)

Well, he said, there's no-one ambitious who wants to make money, they all just have careers and a family.  Mmmm I said again ... is that all they have, oh poor them!

What is in that brain of his at times!! I had to laugh to myself of course!

[Phoenix]

(Sung to the tune of The Addams Family)

They’re looney and they’re kooky
Delirious and goofy
Their OPs are so pukey
A spouse in MLC

Their outfits are ugly and
When people come to see them
Their dead eyes come to greet them
A spouse in MLC

"I must be happy" bullsh!t
They do their best to find it
They whine and moan and boo-hoo
Their texts and calls make us blue
A spouse in MLC

Okay, that's funny.  And to answer your question Kikki, they exchanged cards and notes during the time H kept living in the house AND having the affair. He didn't hide stuff, unfortunately. Nothing like seeing your husband's handwriting to your "Friend" and her familiar hand writing back to him (shudder).
Phoenix

[With Hope]

LOVE the song Wed...hilarious. Of course, I will be hating you later when I am still snapping my fingers and hearing the Addam's Family tune running through my head! 

My "favorite" new trait in my H is his evil, sarcastic laugh..."oh, WH, you need to face reality and move on" [sarcastic laugh]..."you are crazy...we put together a visitation schedule for D2 so we don't have to communicate" [sarcastic laugh] (by the way, the visitation schedule clearly reads that it is a FALL-BACK schedule if parties can't agree to negotiate the weekly and holiday schedules)..."everyone know how you really are and understand why I had to escape" [sarcastic laugh] (really?? that's why everyone has come to me and can't understand how he lost his mind...even his own family!!!). 

Back in July, he got mad at me over an issue with HIM not communicating about visitation schedule and when he dropped off Daughter he screams "I'm SO much happier without you"...let's just say that the veins sticking out of his forehead did not look very happy...the rage-filled screaming didn't either.  But what do I know. 

I got the "move-on...I'm happy now...face reality"...and one of my favorites, from an email he sent me in November..."I was living a lie".  I don't even know what that means honestly!  Isn't that something you say when you're about to tell someone that your gay? OW is ugly but not a dude. 

[Finding Hope]

The talk about a different way of talking. My h now says OKIE-DOKEY all the time. Never heard that before. Isn't that something someone about 8 would say?

Just saying................

C

[kikki]

to answer your question Kikki, they exchanged cards and notes during the time H kept living in the house AND having the affair. He didn't hide stuff, unfortunately. Nothing like seeing your husband's handwriting to your "Friend" and her familiar hand writing back to him (shudder).

Yucky!!!   

Nice lyrics Wed 

With Hope - I have only just pieced this together now, but I too got a lot of the evil, sarcastic laugh.  Still randomly appears, but less so now.
It's very disconcerting

'Moving on' is one of his favourite subjects ........... along with 'moving forward'
Haven't heard the 'I'm happy now speech' for quite some time.  He said to me a few weeks ago that he's drinking because he's so miserable.
But said to the boys during a cofrontation a few weeks ago, that he's glad he moved out because he's 'so happy now'.  Although in the next breath, said to them that he wakes up feeling so sad he cries most mornings, because they are not with him.
S14 said 'that doesn't sound happy to me Dad!'

Jeepers!  Don't you think he'd be able to make up his mind about all of this by now???

Oh and let's not forget.  The above confrontation was after my H telling us all he'd finished things with the OW.
A few weeks later, he was screaming at the boys because they refused to have anything to do with her.
When he asked why - they basically said that she isn't a nice person to have done what she has done.
H screamed that that was 'discrimination, and that Hitler didn't like the Jews either' (huh?).
The boys said that he was pretty scary, but despite that they had to try not to grin .........
He was comparing them to the evil that was Hitler  Nice !!!!