[Reallytrying]

The graduation was lovely - the kids and I had a nice day. We drove the long way home and toured the town we used to live in. D enjoyed seeing her old school, etc. H texted at about 6pm on Saturday to say he was dropping the dog back.

On Sunday there was an event that they usually go to and I assumed H and OW would be there. But then h posted a photo of himself riding alone. D spoke to him in the evening and he was headed to his friend's house. D sent me some pictures she saw of h and OW. He had apparently posted a video of OW rubbing his feet. The pictures were odd - OW looked very unattractive. I didn't see the video but D thought it was odd. She said they looked distant, were sitting far apart in silence and she was on her phone as she was rubbing his feet. She commented that it felt cold not intimate. It's so odd. I made a comment to my long-time friend who I found less than supportive. Thanks to ShiningStar who made me laugh last night and Handpuppets who helped me work through why I found my friends comments  so upsetting this morning.

Today he texted to see if we would be home later. I told him I didn't know because we were headed out. The kids, my family and I headed out - had a nice day. At one point the kids were going with my uncle and cousin to hang out - my aunt and I were going shopping. I texted h to let him know where the kids would be. He once again asked if I needed the truck. He said he would either meet the kids where they were or come over when they got home. When the kids got back he was already here at the house. I was getting take-out and was surprised that he stayed for dinner. My other aunt came over and we all were hanging out until 10pm when he left.

He asked D something about her little boyfriends name. She was really upset that he didn't know it. She talks about the boy all the time - she just felt that it proved that he doesn't listen to or know her.  She had shown her boyfriend the video of OW rubbing H feet and he said "your dad left your mom because she isn't beneath him". I thought that was an interesting assessment from someone who doesn't know us very well - only knows what he's heard from D.

[The lighthouse]

He asked D something about her little boyfriends name. She was really upset that he didn't know it. She talks about the boy all the time - she just felt that it proved that he doesn't listen to or know her.  She had shown her boyfriend the video of OW rubbing H feet and he said "your dad left your mom because she isn't beneath him". I thought that was an interesting assessment from someone who doesn't know us very well - only knows what he's heard from D.

I can understand D being upset by her Dad not knowing her boyfriend's name.  Sometimes it's the small things like this that shows how out of touch they are with their children.  As for the boyfriend's assessment, i'd say he sounds like a perceptive young man and he hit the nail on the head there  .

[UrsaMajor]

He asked D something about her little boyfriends name. She was really upset that he didn't know it. She talks about the boy all the time - she just felt that it proved that he doesn't listen to or know her.  She had shown her boyfriend the video of OW rubbing H feet and he said "your dad left your mom because she isn't beneath him". I thought that was an interesting assessment from someone who doesn't know us very well - only knows what he's heard from D.

I can understand D being upset by her Dad not knowing her boyfriend's name.  Sometimes it's the small things like this that shows how out of touch they are with their children.  As for the boyfriend's assessment, i'd say he sounds like a perceptive young man and he hit the nail on the head there  .

FIL(RIP) was like this too with SIL and her boyfriend although they had been living together for 2 years prior... He THEN went on to say that SIL changed boyfriends so often that he couldn't keep up (project much lately?).  what was even more laughable (everyone except SIL was laughing at him) was that he couldn't remember where I was working, although I had been there for 7 years at the time.....

[Reallytrying]

D is very upset this morning. She keeps saying nothing then finally admitted she's mad at H. He didn't do anything new but I guess she's just upset about the entire thing. Not sure what about yesterday hit her. It's sad to see her so upset.  She has a friend who is very non-supportive so when she reached out the friend just told her get over it - it's been 3 years which was clearly not helpful either.
It's so frustrating having to watch a teenager navigate this craziness.

[Shining Star]

I am sorry that she is so upset this morning, but I can understand.  It must be so confusing to her to watch him eat dinner with the family and then leave and go to an apartment.  We don't understand, so how can a child.  Show her a picture of horseface - that will make her laugh!

So, I didn't know that the picture the other night was from a video - or didn't realize it - I guess Snapchat is video.  That is even worse.  Why would you post something like that?  I would understand if she was dressed appropriately and they were laughing having fun, but she looked like a hag in the hoody sweatshirt, and she wasn't even paying attention to him.  Boggles my mind. 

The only thing I can say about your friend who hurt your feelings is that - unless it happens to you - you can't possibly understand.  Even my sister who has held my hand throughout the process doesn't understand WHY I just don't say F... him!  I am sure your friend wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, she just was not thinking......  xo

[No expectations]

RT,

If this is so hard on us, and we have such love and support, I can't even imagine how tough it is for the kids.  They can't possibly understand this.  We can't understand, yet, we have so much more life experience.

Has your D been to counseling?  If not, she may benefit from it.  Just my thoughts. 

Take care RT.  The crazy train is rolling down the track, full speed ahead.

[MourningDove]

RT - My D has had the same reaction as of late. She has one friend who has said similar things to her in regards to "get over it". It has almost destroyed their friendship. D no longer confides in her. It makes it so tough when we are there to witness the destruction of MLC with our kids. And especially with both of our Ds, they are so tough most times and full of truth darts. I find it shocks me more when my D is visibly upset because most times she is feisty enough to make it seem like it just rolls off of her.

My D has actually stopped following her F's Instagram and SnapChat. He was not happy about it, but too bad. She said it helped her to block those.

Like us, they don't just "get over it".

Where is UM's trademark 2x4 when we need it?

[31andcounting]

I believe D has reached her "sick of this sh*t" point hasn't she Really?  Can't blame her, she is right in the middle of it just like us and we all get to that point, several times !! 
I am sorry and I am not sure how to tell you to help her other than let her let it out!!  If she needs to scream or even scream at dad, let her!! These are her feelings and they are real (not that you doubted that!)  She's been very sick, she's a teenager ....yet she is old enough to get it that her dad is stagnant and somewhat stuck!!  She is sick and tired (even though her mono is better) of all of this!! He has hurt her immensely by not even knowing her boyfriends name (someone important to her at the moment) and this last sick video put her pain over the top!  I am mad for her!!!
He needs his head knocked in with that 2x4 for sure!
ugghhh!
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[UrsaMajor]

This one perhaps?

[31andcounting]

Perfect  UM!!
(hugs)
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