[Shelly7435]

Attaching

[Tyks]

So no accents over here but I did text h yesterday just to ask him how he is doing. He responded in kind and then said "take care, firstname. I truly hope you are ok" That was my cue that the cinversation was over. However I learned that he is working at the local bingo on some weekends lol. He is one of those card runners I think. Unreal... he is doing so mucb more than we ever did as a couple. It kinda makes me angry in a way. Whatever... I guess he can pretend he loves his new life and is haooy for as long as he can. Sure wush he would hit rock bottom thiugh

[Shocked]

The first time I noticed something was off with xH that really distributed me was about 2 months before BD. His laugh had changed. It was flat and phony. My daughter noticed it too. There were other things after the BD but the would start saying he looked like Ryan Reynolds in his new haircut and Matthew McConaughey. I thought that was creepy.

His MLC has caused a great shattering in me. My need to feel safe and valued as been replaced by a more primal need to understand and protect myself. I miss being the person I was too. In every word I read there is hope it will bring some clarity and relief to my tortured heart. A big thank you all for sharing!!!

[Loyal]

Trust me when I saw my H rapping in his car I knew there something more going on.

They`re like teenagers, my P has always hated dancing but since his MLC says he loves it. For about a year, prior to his V on 18.04., he used to sway, pat his hair, etc. etc., in front of the long mirror on the wardrobe whenever a song he liked came on the radio

I just wonder how much of their old life they are aware of on a daily basis are they just acting along? Do they realise the way they are behaving is weird? God I'd love to know! And whether any MLCrs that have come through it can explain more esp the vanishers...

My P has had clear moments when he`s actually said that his behaviour isn`t normal and seemed  quite worried about that.

[Not Applicable]

.. he is doing so mucb more than we ever did as a couple. It kinda makes me angry in a way. Whatever... I guess he can pretend he loves his new life and is haooy for as long as he can. Sure wush he would hit rock bottom thiugh

I think this is just their running from themselves. When they were with us they could sit still and be ok with it. Now they need to keep themselves busy to keep themselves from thinking about their situation. My H is totally overextending himself right now with his work and frankly before he was lazy. He's working up to 16 hours a day right now. It's insane.

[Tyks]

Goner, you are probably right. My h works full time during the week and then he drives long haul truck on weekends. I guess now he works at bingo. It is like they cannot stop.

[nah]

The first time I noticed something was off with xH that really distributed me was about 2 months before BD. His laugh had changed. It was flat and phony. My daughter noticed it too. There were other things after the BD but the would start saying he looked like Ryan Reynolds in his new haircut and Matthew McConaughey. I thought that was creepy.

His MLC has caused a great shattering in me. My need to feel safe and valued as been replaced by a more primal need to understand and protect myself. I miss being the person I was too. In every word I read there is hope it will bring some clarity and relief to my tortured heart. A big thank you all for sharing!!!

You're strong enough to express your fears.  You will be ok.

[nah]

Trust me when I saw my H rapping in his car I knew there something more going on.

They`re like teenagers, my P has always hated dancing but since his MLC says he loves it. For about a year, prior to his V on 18.04., he used to sway, pat his hair, etc. etc., in front of the long mirror on the wardrobe whenever a song he liked came on the radio

I just wonder how much of their old life they are aware of on a daily basis are they just acting along? Do they realise the way they are behaving is weird? God I'd love to know! And whether any MLCrs that have come through it can explain more esp the vanishers...

My P has had clear moments when he`s actually said that his behaviour isn`t normal and seemed  quite worried about that.

Mine too has expressed that he knows he is "fire trucked up", he wrote exactly that in a letter to me just a few weeks after BD.

Then about two years after BD, in a rare conversation he yelled at me that I needed to accept that he had changed.  He repeated the same phrase over and over.  The thing was, though, that we hadn't spoken in over a year, how did he even know whether I accepted that he had changed or not?  OH, it made sense to me later, he hadn't accepted who he had become.  Projection 101.

Now Year Four he is engaged to be married in just a few months yet he tells his ex-wife (me) that he, "looks in the mirror every fire-trucking morning and is physically sick b/c he feels like he is living someone else's life"

Now that is fire-trucked up.  He admitted to be obsessed about drinking (he hasn't drank in 20 years), he admitted to seeking counseling, needing anti-anxiety meds, etc.

Now read the thread from the beginning.  98% of the traits that most of you have wrote about, my husband also did/said the same things.  It's like they all follow the same handbook.  The only difference between my MLCer and most of yours, is mine left 4 years ago AND for some reason he told me his feelings.

[POOWOO]

This thread is so interesting the comments about being like their friends,my closest friends have said its like my H was in a bubble and he would try and mimic other people's bubbles it's like they seem to have lost their identity and try and be like someone else.
I also have noticed like my H it's like there personality has done a 180 Im still shocked that the man I knew could be like this I have no idea who people are talking about when they talk about the man he is now.
I often say to my self was I so blind over the last 20 years who this man was,could everyone we knew have not seen them for who they were? then I come on here and read other posts with all the same comments like I'm writing it x

[bluerose]

      I have thought that too.