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Author Topic: Discussion Anyone else have a vanisher?3

nah

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Discussion Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#60: May 15, 2017, 12:01:53 PM
Quote from: sparklestar on May 15, 2017, 11:50:35 AM
I'm still married to my H and he's a vanisher / touch and goer BD was 8 months ago.

Still very early, sounds like he is in the escape and avoid stage.

The Leaver would have done the same but I filed within days of BD.
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H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com
b
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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#61: May 15, 2017, 01:29:58 PM
     We are still married. He filed for divorce 3 months ago today. Threatened it for 2 years. The ow picked his lawyer for him. Who really wants this divorce? Did not help financially until i filed for child support. Still does not offer any more than he has to pay.
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nah

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#62: May 15, 2017, 04:27:11 PM
Very common BR.  Most MLCers do not liking making decisions, they hand over all the decision making, usually to the Other Person.

I fully believe if I didn't file for divorce, we would most likely still be married. 
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H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com
b
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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#63: May 15, 2017, 04:35:18 PM
I would very likely still be married, too, if I hadn't pushed for it.  He filed, but did little after.  I did the best I could do for myself and my future and have never regretted avoiding that limbo.  In my case, it truly was a lost cause because I knew I'd never allow him back.
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M
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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#64: May 15, 2017, 05:16:58 PM
Puffer is the exact opposite... He's the kind that filed behind my back, Mother's Day, 2 years ago.. Wanted it done asap only to then drag it out to punish me.. A psychotic game of cat and mouse....

He almost succeed in crippling me, financially and emotionally. I don't know why but something clicked inside of me about a year in and I forced him to finish it.

I made the decision to stop emotionally cutting myself and denying who I am because of his choices. I stopped living in the shadow, I had to be me and live now....

Odd aren't they... All so similar but yet so different.... Yet they all are cheese whiz brains!!!
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b
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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#65: May 15, 2017, 05:34:57 PM
  Cheese whiz brains!  Love it!!
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T
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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#66: May 15, 2017, 05:39:58 PM
I am still married to the vanishet on and offer. We have a legal separation agreement only because I initiated it. He signed everything over to me and he pays child support. I would still be in limbo if I hadn't initiated.
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T
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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#67: May 15, 2017, 05:41:53 PM
No mother's day wishes here and no happy bday in march. No merry christmas and no haooy new year. Just thrown out like yesterday' trash
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nah

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#68: May 15, 2017, 05:54:50 PM
It took four years until I got a Happy Mothers Day.

It's not over until you say it's over.

Father's Day is coming up shortly.

It's up to you what you want to do.

I honestly think when I did send him a nice Father's Day message 2 years back, he didn't think for a second about whether or not he wished me anything. It wasn't a contest it was just what I was thinking at the time. When the kids were growing up ( before MLC) he was an awesome dad. So I told him so.
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H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com
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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher?3
#69: May 15, 2017, 06:47:41 PM
Quote from: Tyks on May 15, 2017, 05:41:53 PM
No mother's day wishes here and no happy bday in march. No merry christmas and no haooy new year. Just thrown out like yesterday' trash
Yeah..  me either... it was crickets.. nothing! 
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M 54
H 49
M 12 years; together 17 years
D19, S29
Summer 2014 - H wanted to runaway
9/14 I was diagnosed with Breast cancer
11/14 Surgery for BC..3 day after my father dies
11/14 BD 2 days after surgery. I have no passion for you.
2/15 moved out
Dated each other all year affection back on..
3/16 moved home
7/16 Diagnosed with Breast cancer again
8/16 No affection again. I knew something was wrong.
9/16 Another surgery for Breast Cancer
9/16 BD 11 days after surgery discovered -EA with much younger W from Work. That is over. I think he has meaningless flings. Work is his mistress
10/16 I filed for D (financial reasons)
10/16 I moved out.
10/16 vanisher
5/17 Divorce final
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