[bluerose]

      Bren,
           Im so sorry that you and your children are going through this. Your h and his slore are very despicable snd disgusting people. They are the lowest of the low. Im with ursa on this. There is alot more to this. You are a strong woman. Fight this. Knock the both of them off their pedestals. Listen to ursa snd file charges agsinst them. We are all here to support you. Sending lots of hugs and strength.

[Songanddance]

This is horrific Bren.

Time to get legal advice and fight this with every ounce of strength you can muster.

Everything that Ursa says is correct.  Why can't your children text their father?  They are at liberty to do so.

Not that it comes anywhere close to your experience but I was accused falsely of something at work and I was determined to clear my name.  It took guts and strength but I found it.  You will too -fight for your children - show them that honesty, truth and integrity are more important than lies, deceit and betrayal.

Ursa is correct - every text has a unique code from its originator.  You will have to demand this though through legal channels.

Can the police legally question a juvenile without a parent or guardian present? They can't in the UK.  Something is seriously, seriously wrong here. Get that lawyer somehow.

Find an organisation that will guide you such as domestic abuse or citizen's advice.

Do not do this on your own - we can support you morally and emotionally. Find someone Bren, talk to someone - ACT and hold your head up so high that your ex H and OW would have to break their necks to see your face!

[BrenM]

Um - We have no restraining order against ExH and vice versa.  On the handful of occasions when Monster has made an appearance in public against myself and our children I have elected to do nothing.  Even when he attackedvand pushed me about 2 weeks after BD - I did go to the Police Station for a DVO, but dropped it when H begged me to do so. I have just put this behaviour down to MLC or his substance abuse.  He was never a violent person, very conflict avoidant like myself.

In Hindsight I should've had a AVO issued against the OW - especially when she has verbally abused and/or bullied my children. 

My H elects not to have anything to do with our children, by choice....or Mlc choice?  I have never stopped him from seeing his kids.  He has walked away.

For about 6 months following BD D and S3 were sending H text messages, they advised the police last week that they were using various website onlines -  they were extremely hurt and mad at H, and in the early days there were confrontations etc.  I do not excuse their behaviour, and as a mother I am embarrassed, but knowing what the kids went through I can understand.  My H was far from innocent with his actions.  He pressed charges, but the police issued them with a juvenile caution on a Telecommunications offence.  He has previously sent the police to our Daughter for her text messaging him from her phone and her not going to school - due to depression, anxiety etc.  She has attempted suicide twice - definitely a cry out for help, but her father has ignored.

The police have charged me with a Stalking charge.  I don't even know where they live or what cars they drive ect. She has been receiving messages too and messages have been received by others (unknown to us) from her number, she is pressing the charges.   Apparently the text messages are discrediting her professional reputation.

The police are saying that they found 3 contacts on my I-phone in my contacts for sms websites.  When I enter contacts in my phone I go the whole hog - phone number, fax, physical address, web site etc.  the police are saying that the contacts are website addresses only.  I dispute this and have never heard or visited these sites, so I  contacted Apple to seek advise, that is when they performed their diagnostic testing which was recorded.   The police found a VPN service running on our main computer.  That is all they have.

I will be fighting this with all my heart no soul.

Thanks for the information about the unique code, I am not tech savvy so have no idea. I will,pass this onto,my lawyer.

[UrsaMajor]

Having a VPN service installed is nothing that can rise to the level of bringing charges... I have 2 sets of VPN services, one for my company and one for the customer. Both require an absolute login and that makes a secure connection to the company or customer Server... Nothing more.... If your kids are involved in any kind of remote education, they are probably using CITRIX VPN software to connect to the school (for example).

If that is what the cops are telling you as what they have for evidence, they are as dumb as a box of rocks and have NO idea about technology. OR tthey are trying to baffle you with BS to bluff their way into you confessing something...

VPN = Virtually Private Network -  VPN's are used to connect a PC remotely to a network (usually corporate) with a secure connection. It has NOTHING to do with anonymizing your communications. It is a Point to Point service.

You need to get a lawyer and have them demand disclosure - the police should be required to disclose which Web Sites they are referring to in your contacts list. It is entirely possible that you have been driveby downloaded where you have gone to a web Site and there is a piece of code that automatically installs itself.. However, the fact that they are there does NOT rise to ANY level of criminal offense. You could have a bottle of wine in your fridge too but that doesn't give grounds for a Drunk Driving charge....

The question comes to mind that if your kids have been sending messages to H via such services on your family plan where you are the öwner" of the contract, that may be how you got involved. In addition, if the texts were sent anonymously, how could OW know they were from you and file charges?

The cops have either NOT done any sort of due diligence/due process or there is more going on.

Finally, if HER phone is sending message

She has been receiving messages too and messages have been received by others (unknown to us) from her number

then it is highly likely that HER phone has been infected by a virus or other program that allows someone to remotely send messages..> She'll have a nice bill at the end of the month.

Sorry, I am a Telecom Engineer by trade and there are just WAY too many things that do NOT make ANY sense to me...

[Shocked]

Hey Bren! Listen to UM he is making a lot of sense!!! Going to jail for a text message? That's crazy does she have friends in the police dept??? It sounds to me you are being set up. Please find a professional agency. This is a form of abuse. You must start finding a safe zone. Hugs!!!!

[StoneFrog]

Oh my. I'm so sorry for you and your children, Brenross. Truly horrific, no one should have to deal with what you have on your hands. Please stay strong and seek all the help you can and need!

[BrenM]

Um - Thankyou very much!!!  I am far from tech savvy, you sound like the tech expert I need.  I will message you shortly

[Anjae]

I agree with Ursa, there are too many tech things that do not make any sense.

At it also makes no sense that OW would know who send anonymous messages. Anonymous means the sender is not known. She may think it is you, but think, now and have proof are all different things.

Currently, I am not using a VPN, but I have used a couple. There is nothing illegal or wrong with using one.

You need a lawyer and one that either knows about tech stuff or works with people who know.

[Thunder]

I agree with UM and Anjae.

Some things just don't add up.
A good tech person should be able to help you.

[bluerose]

      Hey bren,
               I was just wondering how things were going. Hope you are doing better.