[ChrissYAH]

What ticks me off is the entitlement these home wreckers think they are owed.

[MsMedfly]

Nice job calling....

The audacity of comparing a 17 + year marriage with children to what..

I struggle with it too...

[banaynaboat]

Hey everyone, you didn't scare me off. I am learning a lot from you. I may not have the same feelings as you because we were not together for a long time, we're not married, and we don't have kids, but all this time I thought I was "the spouse" except we're not married. So I kind of understand where you're coming from.

I really apologize if I made you angry. I really do. If you'd like to know my story, please see my latest post (link below). It's true that I am hurting too but probably not as hurt as you. I know I should have done better researching before trusting his words, but believe me I have no intention to be a homewrecker. My parents didn't raise me for that. I have my own stable job, my own house I bought by myself, I am independent. I don't want to waste my time on a married man who cannot give his 100% to me.

Again, I'm really sorry.

BTW, I’m divorced too.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9358.20

[Tyks]

Next time you meet a man you should probably hear the word "divorced" rather than married but they don't live together or they have separate rooms. Those are usually lies.

My stbx's work sl@t did not want to be called a homewrecker either and she really believed she wasn't so i am not sure what my h told her but it was obviously lies bc I had no idea he was on the verge of being done in this m.

[Whyus]

I remember asking W back in March "What the firetruck did you tell OM about our R that made him feel comfortable with you climbing into his bed?" W answered "I haven't told him anything negative about us"... I nearly pissed myself and said "OK, now I know that hes a total Twat".

[bluerose]

      If this is what this site is becoming, support for the poor ow, than im done.

[ChrissYAH]

ows destroy households and families they shouldn't be given a 2nd thought, my x married his I hope he's miserable.

[nah]

Personally I love the vanisher threads and would like to see this thread back to its roots.

[Songanddance]

No it's not becoming support for the "poor w***e".  ChrissY and Blue!

Read what she is saying carefully Blue - she has begun to realise that she is the OW and she DOESN'T like it or want the situation.  She has begun to realise that she has to walk away from him and that is the sign of a woman who actually doesn't want to break up the home and who certainly doesn't want to engage with a married or newly divorced man who clearly lies, cheats and is in MLC.

If you had read RCR's descriptions of the OW - you will see that she talks about the Naive young thing, the one who is young and duped into believing everything she is told by the MLCer.  This kind of OW is not a malicious person and she is not manipulative or scheming - just very foolish and very naive.  This fits Bana.  Most of theses OWs leave the MLCer after a short period of time.

Most of the OWs on here, including my H's, are manipulative, scheming and in the MLCer's pockets all of the time. Most of them are the ones who spread lies, rumours and stop at nothing to destroy the LBS and children.  This description does not apply to Bana.

Blue - please stop being so angry - it is eating you up inside. You are hurting and your indignance and anger at the posts come from a source of pain that is incredibly deep. 

It is of course your choice to leave the forum and I would be sad to see you go but to do it out of anger is not necessarily helpful for you. 

[xyzcf]

I have never felt that the OW is to blame for our spouse's crisis. Who knows what they have been told?

Some, yes may be "after" our husbands for a multiple of reasons. I feel sorry for those who are so desperate to have him.

But, it is my spouse who made the decision to have an affair. No-one twisted his arm, no one made him do it. He was supposed to love and cherish me and our family.....he stopped doing that for whatever reason ( in my case, I believe it is a "symptom" of his crisis but there are many other reasons why people cheat).

Whoever the other person was, is irrelevant...it is my spouse who has the fault here.