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Author Topic: MLC Monster Bvftd comments

b
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MLC Monster Re: Bvftd comments
#70: September 20, 2017, 07:49:54 PM
Chriss:

The disturbing smirk you and so many of us saw on our spouses that chilled us is from dyskinesia.

Risus Sardonicus.
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C
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Re: Bvftd comments
#71: September 20, 2017, 08:19:52 PM
Scary $h!tee, well the kids keep telling me he's INSANE, wonder how his new marriage will pan out?
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b
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Re: Bvftd comments
#72: September 21, 2017, 02:57:38 PM
Another quick test you could perform yourself is to use sarcasm, metaphor or proverbs. As I mentioned in another post, these are tests researchers actually use. The ability to detect sarcasm is a higher-brain function. I think I read that children don't understand sarcasm until about age 7.

Velika mentioned that her FH no longer had his witty, ironic, quick sense of humor. Mine lost his, too. Mant ppl with the disorder will lose interest in "adult" comedic shows and instead begin watching silly videos, childish cartoons or Three Stooges-type, slapstick TV.

If you do see your spouse, work in something such as, "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." He will think you are talking about rock-throwing. Or "The early bird gets its worm." He may start discussing robins and lawn care.

My H stunned me and others when someone said, "That's like night and day," and H, attorney, business owner and someone who made people laugh and laugh whenever he was around because of his great sense of humor and delight in being with others asked, "What do you mean by that." And then we patiently explained to him what this common expression meant.
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Re: Bvftd comments
#73: September 21, 2017, 03:23:39 PM
Chriss:

The disturbing smirk you and so many of us saw on our spouses that chilled us is from dyskinesia.

Risus Sardonicus.

These have to do with involuntary muscle contractions, not with smirking on purpose. It's important to note that for those of us who think of the "smirk" in terms of the character their spouses became exhibiting menacing glares or laughing at us. It's not the same thing. That's the danger with a forum like this where we're describing things without physical examples to compare. Many times what we're thinking we have in common may be something completely different.
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b
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Re: Bvftd comments
#74: September 21, 2017, 03:27:24 PM
I just read someone's comment that said memory loss is very common in MLS. Please do not confuse memory loss with failure to attend or simply not caring.

My H couldn't repeat back the 3 words after 5 or 10 minutes (another neurological test). But it wasn't because he couldn't remember or forgot them. He didn't CARE that we were at a neurologist's office and undergoing very serious testing. He tuned out the doctor, sat slumped and spent his energy sneering at me instead of following the doctor's instructions.

A heart-wrenching part of this disease is the lack of emotional connection to what should be the best, most fondest of memories. The day H married me and the days each of our 4 children were born, are as meaningful to him as yesterday when he got the oil changed in his car.
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Re: Bvftd comments
#75: September 21, 2017, 03:31:47 PM
Dyskinesia? How come? Dyskinesias is either caused by certain types of meds or Chronic or tardive, meaning a motor disorder is necessary.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyskinesia

Of the other two types, non-motor:
Primary ciliary dyskinesia: "a rare, ciliopathic, autosomal recessive genetic disorder"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primary_ciliary_dyskinesia

"Biliary dyskinesia is a disorder of some component of biliary part of the digestive system in which bile physically can not move normally in the proper direction through the tubular biliary tract."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biliary_dyskinesia

Do you even know what you are talking about, bvFTD? Do you really know what dyskinesia is?

The smirk is not uncommon on depressed or bipolar people. Or is psychitic people. Or in people that drink or take drugs.  Like Ready2 explained, one needs to be careful with what one writes and says.

Among others, depressed people often don't detect sarcams or humour. How exactly would a layperson be doing tests that are reserved for professionals? Some things should be left to professionals.

As for taking the spouse to see a doctor, any doctor, you, and Velika, do not seem to have read our threads. It is not possible to take a MLCer to see a doctor.

Mr J had a in-doctor in a the company he worked for pre-MLC. Mr J knew he was depressed, the doctor knew, I knew, because Mr J told me so. I tried to get him to the doctor, the doctor, who worked in the company, tried to see Mr J. Result? Mr J left home and the company.

Don't worry, he does not have bvFTD. He left 11 years ago. MLC aside, he is fine.

bvFTD, you know, our MLCers couldn't care less about following doctor's instructions, but they don't have bvFTD. Some things just look the same, but aren't. And sometimes, what is though to be one thing, may be another, for example, this new theory about ADHD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sleep-newzzz/201305/adhd-or-sleep-disorder-are-we-getting-it-wrong
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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

b
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Re: Bvftd comments
#76: September 21, 2017, 03:33:17 PM
Ready2Transform:

Are you perhaps thinking of dystonia?

I stand by what I said. A woman who posts about her husband said the neurologist told her that her H has a Sardonic Affect.

So does mine.

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k
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Re: Bvftd comments
#77: September 21, 2017, 04:02:11 PM
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k
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Re: Bvftd comments
#78: September 21, 2017, 04:11:50 PM
A sardonic Affect means a grimly mocking or sarcastic mood which is an outward, observable manifestation of a person's expressed feelings or emotions. 

Quite different to a neurological style disorder of the facial (or other) muscles.

Not saying your H doesn't have both at times bvFTD, but as Ready points out, without seeing our spouses, you have no idea whether we are dealing with the same thing or not.
I think the smirk I saw in the early days was related to times of mania.
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« Last Edit: September 21, 2017, 04:19:33 PM by kikki »

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Re: Bvftd comments
#79: September 21, 2017, 04:14:52 PM
Ready2Transform:

Are you perhaps thinking of dystonia?

I stand by what I said. A woman who posts about her husband said the neurologist told her that her H has a Sardonic Affect.

So does mine.


I have no doubt that you two were told something that is in your case correct. What I am saying is that the "smirk" referred to by many here is likely not the same thing physically. Facial expression vs. facial contortion involuntarily. It's the danger of us not being able, by using pictures of our spouses since we are anonymous, to convey exactly what we're referring to and therefore sometimes using similar terminology to describe absolutely different things. I saw pictures of what you referred to online, and it is nothing like the 'smirk' my xH exhibited while in "monster" character. What I experienced was also not Parkinson's-like. I have a friend in my industry who has dystonia, and I see his pictures and know he too is suffering from a physical malady, not expressing something as my xH did.

I would encourage people to look at pictures online and see for themselves whether what their spouses exhibited is the same thing as what we're talking about.

Edited: kikki's responses came while I was typing, so apologies if there is overlap!
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