[ForeverHopefulOne]

Hi PS, is this a discussion, or a continuation of your story?  I seems as though it is a continuation.  If you read in the posting guidelines, it states that you should maintain one thread until it reaches at least 10 pages, before starting a new one.  This way, all our stories are maintained and it's easier to follow.

E-mail RCR and ask her to combine this thread with your first thread.

OP is the one that states we get the gift of time; please listen to him, he is very wise in all of this.

Xoxoxo

[justasking]

Purple Stain.

Just popped in to say hello.

Unfortunately I am having great difficulty reading some of your posts because of the colours you are using for the text. Welcome anyway.

[Rollercoasterider]

Intuition is always a good topic, so I merged this thread with the original thread on Intuition started by TrustandLove.

[Buggy31]

e My H never "dropped the bomb" on me as luckily ('knock on wood") there is no other woman and he has stayed at home. He just started slipping away, going out all the time, staying away from home...]

My H also never "dropped the bomb" with words.  An affair continues and was revealed over a year ago.  However, before it even started I felt my H slipping away too. It was total intution.  When I tried to reach out to him and he acted like nothing was wrong my intuition wouldn't let it rest.  There was such a deep knowing that something was wrong that I could not ignore it.  My husband has MAJOR problems with emotional intimacy and is incredibly passive.  So I think he was too fearful to say what he was feeling and what was so very  obvious in his behaviors.  I believe he was afraid of losing me at that time. 

[Purple stain]

I feel in my heart that my H does not have OW (intuition). But my H has also never discussed any feelings...he never had feelings like I do, utter joy and happiness or being disappointed etc. At least he would never show me or tell me. The past couple of days I've been thinking that he might have been in MLC for a lot longer than I think. He always tells me that he doesn't know when or how it started and he is sorry for what it's doing to us. He keeps telling me that it's not fair to me. Anyway, back to intuition. I actually asked my H if he would meditate with me on a nightly basis (I got that from a book which deals with the subconscious mind) and I do that combined with praying. He doesn't have to do anything besides emptying his mind which I think or hope helps him to not think about the issues he has right now. That is the only time we actually have "physical' contact, as we are holding hands...I told him that the purpose of it was for us to reconnect somehow...they are days when he comes to me and says let's do it cause I'm going to bed which makes me happy that he is initiating it. I'm hopeful and a believer.

Regarding reading books, I'm actually reading "how to survive your husband's midlife crisis" but I only read the chapters that i feel help me and apply to me. there is another book that I'm reading but I've just started it. I'm trying to read books on how i can change my outlook and improve our marriage without involving him as he needs his space. and i will also read a couple of books about male midlife crisis which might give me an insight. i just ordered a couple of books from the library, and we'll see. I am standing and I truly feel grateful to RCR that she built a website for spouses that are willing to stick it out. We were brought together with our spouses for a reason, I truly believe that. And people here know that a wonderful person is beneath, hidden somewhere under all that pain that manifests in an MLCer...so to all of you, keep hoping and believing!

[LeaveThePastBehind]

Hi, I wanted to start a new discussion. 

This was brought up in the coaching archives -- the idea of intuition.  I have been trying to meditate, to allow myself to get in touch with, for lack of a better phrase, my own intuition and judgement.  I find it hard to separate out what is intuition and what are just my desires. 

And when my desires are 'right', and when acting on them would be counterproductive. 

Are there good books to read?  I've been riding this rollercoaster for a long time; reading helps me -- what do others have to say about this?

I went digging into the old threads and I found this interesting one. I've been wondering about intuition, as well. Occasionally, I think that I can feel his feelings and emotions. Often, I feel a sense of anger towards me from him. I'm wondering if this is my intuition or just my imagination and negative thinking coercing me to feel this way. I'm leaning towards it being the latter, although, I believe intuition is possible. I'm simply trying to understand these feelings either way and I'm interested in hearing more of your experiences.

[kikki]

I'm learning to trust and use my intuition more - for me, it's a very real sensation in the solar plexus - that good old gut instinct.

Does the idea sit right?  Does something feel wrong and uncomfortable?

[MsZing]

I'm with Kikki on this. I had the gut feeling for a few months before BD even tho H kept saying to relax everything was fine.

My gut feeling now is telling me that H is coming over every week to spin out his food budget. It gives him a couple of meals he doesnt have to cook or pay for ingredients for. Hmmm. I used to think he just wanted to see me. Now I think it's a convenience for him