Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Shantilly Lace on February 04, 2012, 03:16:39 PM
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http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=863.0
time to start a new one
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NB, I feel so bad for your son. :( My D17 experiences this every week from her dad as well. The situation is a little different because H wants to spend time with her, but it's a control thing and when they're together he makes it miserable for her. She usually just refuses to see him now (after trying to explain MANY times how his behavior hurts her, etc), so he regularly asks her "how can you treat me like this" and "do you think this is how God wants you to treat me?". Other common ones are "you need to treat me better", "you are disrespectful", "I'm the only father you have", blah blah blah. She tries SO hard to get through to him about her feelings but always gets "you need to get over those feelings and move on".
It's HORRIBLE to watch our kids treated this way by these emotionally adolescent men/boys. I have to keep counseling her to not engage in the fight and reassure her that she's not doing anything wrong by protecting herself from being his punching bag. I honestly think he's a bit intimidated by her maturity and level head when he's spinning in a vortex of insanity. Neither of my girls have any respect for him anymore, but for some reason he attacks D17 almost daily and leaves D14 alone. He has convinced himself he has a "special bond" with D14 so she gets promises of iphones and other gifts, even though she doesn't see him any more than D17 does. I think he sees D17 as a lost cause at this point since she will be a legal adult soon. It's all so warped. These poor kids. :'(
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Uh-Oh I was gonna come here and write something funny my H said that I remembered and I see Faith talking about the children. :'( F' this mlc we can't even laugh with the kids getting blown apart in the background. So sorry Faith and NB that you have nasty monster mlcers so confused and angry at themselves(taking it out on you lbs and kids) >:( Prayers and Hugs coming.
Now the funny thing my H said. ::)
After his 6 week Houidini Act of disappearing after BD to be with Bowser... :'( He stood in my kitchen playing with the rim of his hat and staring at his feet. ??? He said at one point (big smiling) "And YOU thought OW was some young chippee and she's old and smart like us." :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Yeah, so smart she had no car, no ac, no tv, no friends, no 7 year old son, no morals, no boyfriend just MY H! LOL! She's smart like us ??? ::) :P Please dis-include ME from this trio of rocket scientists ::)
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I will remove you from the list Mamma. ;D Last summer my H was telling me how much better I have it here at the house than he does at his condo. To ram his point home he bellowed" I only have basic cable and YOU have HBO!"
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Learning, He THOUGHT that I THOUGHT ow was a young chippee ???
What drunk drug addict can pick up a young chipee ???
Don't answer that...please :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
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Hi Faith and Mamma ~ It really is a shame that these MLCers take their anger out on their kids. It really breaks my heart. It's to the point with my son that he wonders if his father even loves him. I tell him he does and that he is just lost. Sometimes I feel like my H only comes to see his son out of obligation or even to show everyone that he does love his son, that he does come to see him. Like he is trying to prove to everyone he is a good father. :o From what my son says, his father is miserable to be around, Mr. Negative.
Thats what really ticks me off. He hardly spends any time with our son so why can't he be nice to him when he is with him?
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Learning, He THOUGHT that I THOUGHT ow was a young chippee ???
Okay guys - for all of us downunder - what on earth is a chippee. The mind boggles ;)
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KiKi, I think it's a young, blonde, perky, dumb, air-head Barbie Doll with big boobs :o :o :o :o :o :o :o LOL..just a guess. Do you have those 'down under' ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
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Oh yeah Mama - we have chippees here too ;D ;D ;D
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KiKi so my lost and angry and confused self pity filled H ran to an ugly Affair Doown and lives in squalor. Oh there's another funny thing he said "You're probably wondering why I left this big beautiful house to go live in a s**thole?" 8 weeks post BD he was all so ;D ;D to tell me I should have seen it coming.....Now ??? Somebody is having second thoughts ::) ::) ::) Or mlc time thousands of second thoughts :o :o :o :o :o :o
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So far I still think the funniest thing H said was that our son "...thinks I am going through a midlife crisis." :o
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Next funniest thing... "These thoughts keep creeping up in my head"
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Hey Mamma,
And where might one meet one of these "chippies." Just in case anyone asks of course..... lol
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Oh yeah Mama - we have chippees here too ;D ;D ;D
Kikki,
Aren't 'Chippees' Carpenters? Atleast I thought so in Aus. Perhaps Shantilly or Ez can confirm.
SP
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mmmmmm I love chippees in the UK we buy chippees from the fish and chip shop lol xxxxxxxxxxx
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Thundarr, Actually he said "Young college Chippees" Look around at the college ::) ??? when you're not standing anymore and you are healed ;D That way you won't make matters worse on a whim and act like them :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
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Chippee?? Hahahaha!! Well what a relief to hear she's old and smart.
I still can't believe there are MLCers who actually admit and talk about their OW's. Mine will deny his until the divorce is final and he can proclaim he JUST met her. Can't have anyone (aka his parents who think he's perfect) thinking he would have a "GASP" affair!!
Ok....here's a kind of funny one from my stbx last week.
There was a lot of ugliness that happened between him and D17 when she wouldn't come hang out at his "condo" as he calls it, which is the office space he lives in. She didn't back down, so he texted me one of his looooong speeches about how it's all my fault, blah blah blah. It was full of his normal rage and insane ramblings. Same old same old.
My reply: "I wonder if you'll ever write a new speech?"
H: lol
H: I'm not very creative I guess
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o
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mmmmmm I love chippees in the UK we buy chippees from the fish and chip shop lol xxxxxxxxxxx
Yep, we call them that too but usually when talking with the little kiddies :)
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Oh yeah Mama - we have chippees here too ;D ;D ;D
Kikki,
Aren't 'Chippees' Carpenters? Atleast I thought so in Aus. Perhaps Shantilly or Ez can confirm.
SP
If that's the case, meeting them is out. Lol
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Oh yeah Mama - we have chippees here too ;D ;D ;D
Kikki,
Aren't 'Chippees' Carpenters? Atleast I thought so in Aus. Perhaps Shantilly or Ez can confirm.
SP
If that's the case, meeting them is out. Lol
Yes - in the southern hemisphere - chippies are carpenters :) and also hot chips when talking to little kids ;D
Well - how about this when talking about OW.
My H a couple of months ago, asked if I would attend counselling with him, as he wants to work towards coming home, and it would be good for us to work out how to 'MOVE FORWARD'! (Yes, the dreaded words again!).
Having zero expectations and all, and then the MLCer madly cycles away - the counselling turns into - 'you're keeping the boys away from me'.
When we had clarified that the boys would be sticking to their guns and having absolutely nothing to do with the OW, my H turns and says to me in his best whiney 11 year old persona 'couldn't you help by telling the boys that she would NEVER hurt them, that their Dad would never hurt them, and that she is safe to be around?'
I just looked at him and raised my eyebrows. I didn't think I needed to validate that, given the HURT the pair of them have caused our kids these past two years!!!!
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Kikki...you said: I just looked at him and raised my eyebrows. I didn't think I needed to validate that, given the HURT the pair of them have caused our kids these past two years!!!!...I bet that was the eyebrow raise my wife gives when you know you are in deep sh*t! Seen that one, so have the kids. It is what we call the "momma look" and ya better watch out your next step. I can just imagine that out of you towards your husband. Too funny.
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.I bet that was the eyebrow raise my wife gives when you know you are in deep sh*t! Seen that one, so have the kids. It is what we call the "momma look" and ya better watch out your next step. I can just imagine that out of you towards your husband. Too funny.
;D ;D ;D moc - That is very funny! A friend said to me the other day (I was busy patting myself on the back for learning to RESPOND and no longer REACT to my MLCer), Kikki, I don't think you have any idea of the power that you will be directing towards ***** (my H), when you send those truth darts.
You're far stronger than he is!!!
Okay - I have to admit to having a mobile face - I guess it's pretty expressive. Note to self - next thing to start gaining control over is in non-verbal communication. I sometimes forget how powerful it is. Thanks for the reminder ;D ;D ;D
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I seem to remember someone saying their H had proposed having the OW move in with them (H and W) with the rationale that they could help around the house. Anyone recollect?
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yep me
hecouldn't figure out why she said no
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Astounding. Talk about ultimate cake eating!!
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Thundarr, I guess you missed the LBS whose H suggested OW sleep at the foot of their bed :o :o :o :o :o a perfect solution :o :o :o
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ARE YOU KIDDING ME MB!!!! I swear to God how delusional can these people get!!!!!!!!!!! >:( >:(
The only thing ExH wanted US ALL to do was go to a movie. :o >:( >:( >:(
Texas Chain Saw Massacre would have looked mild compared to what the two girls and I would have done to exOW and probably him (unless he ran fast enough). >:(
Yeah at the foot of the bed like a dog........friggin idiots
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Well, since mine ALSO belongs to the club of "I wish we could all live together.. I'm a loving person!" (back in the beginning).... I decided to see how far he had progressed a couple of months ago and suggested OW and her daughter could come live with us in our NEW house and that way he would be home with his kids every weekend.... his response?
Well, first, I saw a confused look on his face... then that looked turned into obvious THINKING about how that might not be such a bad idea.... then..... a "hey... WAIT A MINUTE!! Are you trying to mess with my head?" and with my best poker face I said "No, I just thought since you want us both, it might be a solution to you being gone from the kids so much.." and he said (hesitating) "I don't know if she would go for that.... I'll have to ask her..." teehee.... if ONLY he WOULD ask her that!!! WORLD WAR THREE!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
By the way, he is still resentful that I "tried to trick him" with that one, LOL!!
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LG That's soooooooooooo funny!!!! I would haved LOVED to have seen his face when you did your poker face!!!!!!!! God lord they think that's an actual soultion to the problem???!! ::) :o :o
The show on TV that makes me sick is that Sister Wives.
What a bunch of disgusting crap that is!!!!!!! But the American public will proceed to make that idiot rich so he can continue his lifestyle!!!!! And pick up a few more weakminded females along the way, Those POOR kids in those families!!!!!!
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Now this thread is really getting crazy!! Funny how insanity can be funny, huh?
LG - I LOVE it!!
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Funny thing is now that I think about it, most of your H's were teens in the 70's so perhaps the zeitgeist from then may have an influence. Just a thought.
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Please - if you can point me to where the thread is where the MLCer suggested OW sleep at foot of bed.... In my office, and I am laughing hysterically, people are looking at me funny....
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That's such a great line!!!
Think it came from these two threads: 'The script my MLCer reads from' (One and Two)
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=203.0;all
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1707.0
Just found it. Thread two, post 100 from TrustingmyHP
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After BD my H would not have anything to do with our 2 cats; he'd only shoo them away.
My H took his first of two "I must get away from here" trips back in July. On the day he came back, I had decided our elderly cat must go to the vet, as I was unable to get her eating anymore. The vet found cancer, determined there was no hope, and so I had her put to sleep. I came home and told my H; he ranted angrily about how God killed his cat.
Somehow the rant turned to how his hometown is full of good, God-fearing people, and that it's such a great place. Then he mentioned he's worried about his friend "L" (a drug problem, maybe?) and he told me that his "mission" is "to bring God to that area." Wha?
The God that killed your cat? To the area that already has nothing but God-fearing folks?
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Oh some of these MLCers LOVE God...especially at first. Mine said that God sent him the "love" that he had not been getting from me ("He" supposedly answered my H's prayer by sending him a skanky OW)! Yes, God often sends other women to married men? SEE it's happening all over THIS forum! "God also wanted him to be happy...because he deserved it"! More recently, he honestly seemed to cringe when our D2 mentioned that it was "baby Jesus' birthday" during Christmas. So sad, really.
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Somehow the rant turned to how his hometown is full of good, God-fearing people, and that it's such a great place. Then he mentioned he's worried about his friend "L" (a drug problem, maybe?) and he told me that his "mission" is "to bring God to that area." Wha?
The God that killed your cat? To the area that already has nothing but God-fearing folks?
Ah yes, and your H is the perfect person to to bring God back to the God-fearing folk because he's such an example of what God wants us to be. :o
It's always entertaining to listen to the rants twist and turn in all imaginable directions. The first time it happened it really freaked me out (that was his "you never brought cake to my work" rant) and I was sure he had to have a brain tumor. So glad I can occasionally laugh now.
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Oh I love this thread.
My Ds asked H 6 weeks post BD as he cherry picked clothes from our closet " Daddy, why don't you stop being ridiculous and just come home?" ???
H : "Bc Bowser is so nice to me. I am afraid to come back to this disaster." :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
I decided then that when he does come back I'll be wearing a tee shirt that says " disaster."
And before the script had actually sunk into my brain I was floored when he and ow told the Ds that 1 time they met " Don't worry Mommy and OW and I are all gonna be best friends and go out to the diner" :o :o :o
That's when InThis told us about the movies ??? ??? ??? ??? I was like ??? ??? ??? Huh?
Put on top of that when he drove by the alley where he was hiding his car for 6 weeks (limo place) H: "Did Mommy notice I started parking my car there now so she could see it?" ::) ??? :o :o :o :o :o
Why would he care where I thought he parked his car? Oh probably bc I used to leave love notes in there and LG told me to stop. So he wanted more love notes...moved his car...and told the Ds so they'd tell me ::) :o :o :o :o :o :o
OK I got it. They are screwed up! :P
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Oh I love this thread.
My Ds asked H 6 weeks post BD as he cherry picked clothes from our closet " Daddy, why don't you stop being ridiculous and just come home?" ???
H : "Bc Bowser is so nice to me. I am afraid to come back to this disaster." :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
I decided then that when he does come back I'll be wearing a tee shirt that says " disaster."
Here Mamma, nothing says "disaster" like being a Titanic crew member:
(http://i1119.photobucket.com/albums/k632/carlav02/titanic.jpg)
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OK...I have to bump this thread because I haven't seen any good action on it. I know you all have some more...I need some comic relief here.
I have 2 of them
* Just after BD, she was philosophizing that she is like Johari's Window. Now some of you may know (I didn't had to look it up) but she explained that there are things about her that only she knows. So now she is a college professor all of a sudden. So what stuff is this...hmm
1. Things she knows and everyone else knows about her
2. Things she knows but nobody else knows about her
3. Things she doesn't know but everyone else knows about her
4. Things that neither she nor anyone else knows about her
umm...ok...get off the crazy girl kool-aid sweetheart *
* The other day my wife asked me how the ancient peoples painted their finger and toenails. Like in Egypt maybe with crushed scarab beetles I told her...oh man, you just can't make this stuff up! *
- keep em coming
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moc Once after BD my H was explaining where I should shop for bargains on groceries ??? He said "Go to this new store " I asked "Oh is it good?" He said "Would I EVER steer you wrong?" :o :o :o :o :o
I gotta think. I know there's a lot more stuck inside my head.
Oh and right after BD he said "I make no money. Really. When the Ds go to college we should put them on my income tax return so they can get a lot of grants and give aways. You make a lot money so that wouldn't help." :o :o :o :o
He took furniture when we were at work 3 mos post BD. He rushed and left gaping holes of vacant space with dust and coins in the spots. D9 and I cried the whole night. When I told him he said "Well, I think that would be on you not me."
I asked "Why do you say that?" He said "Because you probably told them I might come back." :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
In the sunporch back in April only 2 mos post BD he said "My brother told me you have a big tough lawyer all ready and you're going to come after me." I said "Does that sound like me?" He said "No. Oh gosh. Oh good. Yeah bc I told him we would do all of that ourselves. No need for lawyers." :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
moc I'll be back.... ;)
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Show-off!
Edit -Just realized that when I removed my bump that your post would look silly and that was not my intention.
So since I can't put it back in the bottle
Bump - Oldpilot
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No prob, OP. I didn't realize there were 2 of these already and I only linked to the first one anyway. And I don't need any help looking silly. LOL
Newbies, you MUST read through these two threads and please add to them. It's amazing how alike thest stories are!
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When confronted with my knowledge he had stayed with ow in hotel 2 weeks after BD my H let rip, here's a few corkers:
It's a crime to the universe to be this unhappy
I'm half the man I could be today because of you
I have done things I didn't want to do and not done I wanted to do because of you
When I met you I was F@@@@ed up and I thought I had rebuilt myself but I realise I have built myself wrong in this relationship I need to go away and rebuild myself properly!!!
I need to fix myself but I can only do that ony own (has been having affair for months!)
She's just a distraction at a time when I suppose I don't need any distractions
She's irrelevant and anyway I slept with her after I ended it with you (pah! 2 weeks after)
And, in an email to his best friend who asked how are you doing?
H replied:
Oh you know feel fantastic but a bit guilty ..... Watched Before Sunset last night to steel my nerves.
The following day ow sends H an email with a link to a film she would like to go and see at the cinema (this makes me feel sick actually, it's not a funny one!)
I'm so pleased I can laugh at some of the arrogant, crazy, narcissistic, sh*t this man has come out with! At the time I believed every word and thought, no you're right, no one deserves to be that unhappy its awful for you, I'm so sorry I made you so unhappy blah blah blah! hoping he's heading for a really stressful relationship with his young tart!
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well in the thick of things (when h "returned" after trial separation last year) h did suggest that we "let the house go" and live on a commune. no, seriously. (with D14/D18 and S at uni?) craaaaaazy.
he left me again a few months later. been gone a year. Just as well my old self the "fixer" didn't follow h down that path !
( he now wants reconciliation )
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Don´t know why, but this popped into my memory today: Shortly after abandoning me, h was whining repeatedly, "I am homeless, homeless!" This is FUNNY now, but was just bizarro then. Oh my, we the LBSers come a long way forward.
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Don´t know why, but this popped into my memory today: Shortly after abandoning me, h was whining repeatedly, "I am homeless, homeless!" This is FUNNY now, but was just bizarro then. Oh my, we the LBSers come a long way forward.
FTT, my H is still saying that, even though he lives with ow and then here once a week and takes kids here or to his dads or mums every other weekend! When I tell people he says he's homeless, they all shout in unison "but HE LEFT!"
Latest shocker ..... when I asked why he stayed with me for the past ten years, bought a flat, got married, had two kids .... he replied "I don't know? Stockholm Syndrome?"
???
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when I asked why he stayed with me for the past ten years, bought a flat, got married, had two kids .... he replied "I don't know? Stockholm Syndrome?"
This made me laugh out loud!
Boy, your H really sees himself as the victim, no doubt.
L
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yup -- victim. My MLCer sees himself as that as well.
I have heard and continue to hear:
"What about me??"
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TandL "what about me?" has been my Hs mantra since he was 4 years old and his brother developed a brain tumour :( Very sad but big brother pulled through amazingly well and now has just a much chance of developing cancer as someone who's never had anything. My H on the other hand has maintained his serious case of "what about me?" and it seems somewhat acute at the moment!
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FTT..... the "I'm homeless" meme is typical..... they FEEL homeless.. uprooted.... NOT AT HOME!!! It's still BIZARRE when you hear it!
Tough Times.... your husband essentially gave you a BLUEPRINT to what he is trying to accomplish.... completely REBUILD HIMSELF and his life in his MLC!!! Thanks for sharing, still sucks for us!!!
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FTT..... the "I'm homeless" meme is typical..... they FEEL homeless.. uprooted.... NOT AT HOME!!! It's still BIZARRE when you hear it!
Tough Times.... your husband essentially gave you a BLUEPRINT to what he is trying to accomplish.... completely REBUILD HIMSELF and his life in his MLC!!! Thanks for sharing, still sucks for us!!!
Yep, got the "I have no home!!" thing here too (my response was pre-knowledge about MLC, so my prodding that Bank of America thought differently and they wanted their money wasn't met too keenly. ;D ;D ;D)
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I'm so glad my H isn't the only one who plays the victim. Mine CHOSE to move into a hotel and then blames me that he lives in a hotel. Really?! He also said he had no choice but to move in with OW because he couldn't afford the hotel anymore. I replied, 'Did you hit your head?'
This entire situation is soooo bizarre! I keep expecting Ashton Kutcher to show up and tell me I've been Punk'd.
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I'm so glad my H isn't the only one who plays the victim. Mine CHOSE to move into a hotel and then blames me that he lives in a hotel. Really?! He also said he had no choice but to move in with OW because he couldn't afford the hotel anymore. I replied, 'Did you hit your head?'
This entire situation is soooo bizarre! I keep expecting Ashton Kutcher to show up and tell me I've been Punk'd.
;D ;D ;D I wish that part went away, but it never makes more sense. Salvador Dali couldn't paint something this surreal.
This made me remember though a conversation from last spring where H was talking about the realities of having to support himself in the future (he'd moved into his parents' basement August 2011). He wanted to assure me that it was a "bitter pill", as though that would make me feel better about having all of our joint finances thrown in my lap. :o :o :o And no, he has NEVER moved out of the basement and continues to live off of his parents!! Party on Wayne!!
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FTT..... the "I'm homeless" meme is typical..... they FEEL homeless.. uprooted.... NOT AT HOME!!! It's still BIZARRE when you hear it!
Tough Times.... your husband essentially gave you a BLUEPRINT to what he is trying to accomplish.... completely REBUILD HIMSELF and his life in his MLC!!! Thanks for sharing, still sucks for us!!!
Yes he said to me at the beginning he was f@@@ed up when he met me and thought he was rebuilding himself but he realises he built himself wrong because of our f@@@ed up R. Now he needs to rebuild himself but not within the prism of our f@@@ed up R!
Oh, he also told me he thought he was over his agorophobia when he met me but he realises he hid in our f@@@ed up R for 14 years like an agorophobic hides indoors!
How many times does this guy have to tell me our R was f@@@ed up? Okay, okay I get the message!!!!!!
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Mine told sons that he had stayed in a bedsit when he first left.
Well no it was an ApartmentHotel where a football manager used to also stay, so hardly a bedsit pretty upmarket to be fair, I also know he changed apartments 3 times in the first week because he didnt feel comfortable.
As he had wanted space he first got a really large one but it turned out to be too big, next one was next to fire doors so he felt vunerable, after 3rd one he moved to a rented flat which surprise surprise he didnt like either after 3 month so moved again.
2nd flat stayed for a year on and off as by that time medicating with ow, now has another rental flat which he said is cheaper and also a rental with ow 3 hours away which he is back and forth to on a weekly basis, lots of travel which we know they like lol.
Sorry not really things he has said but what he has done but still crazy! I couldnt believe he said he had stayed in a bedsit, definately a pity me, he drives a 7 series bmw hardly likely to stay in a bedsit is he!!
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mine's reaction to me saying I felt that if he wanted to leave the relationship he should leave the family home (and not live in his son's room for free because he was earning nothing and contributing nothing to the household which is what he was proposing )
he then told the children I wanted to see him homeless.
it's a script. it's a script.
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I gotta get a life! But I need to share this:
My h said, 'I'm not comfortable signing the mortgage' [renewal]. We owe less than a fifth of the value of the property. I think he thought this would be pressure on me to sign an agreement. Did he think I was holding the mortgage? Well I am sure the bank will be sympathetic.
He used to be an intelligent man.
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I forgot about this thread!
Well staying on the homeless one. My H recently told me he was homeless, staying at people's houses, it's hideous apparently. When I said I know you're living with ow and paying her rent, he looked shocked!
Following day he told me he had to live somewhere, he can't afford his own place and would rather live here but can't afford to so he has to live somewhere! Hmmmmmm what an evil woman am I .... He chose to leave and chose I move in with ow but I'm stopping him from living near his kids and forcing him to live with his affair partner!
He also said it was important to him that he buys and cooks the children's food when he comes to look after them! Ha, he buys a bag of chicken nuggets and his ow soup and thinks that's cooking for his kids! He doesn't see the irony of him placing importance on cooking for his kids and yet abandoning them! Whaaaaaat???
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My H just keeps contradicting himself.
Last time (last week) he said he thought I was selling my shares to pay him out. I replied that it wasn't his business how I paid him out. So he replies, "Why do you think I'm interested in your business!"
Other times he will tell me all about his financial woes or affair details and when I reply that I don't want to know about it, he responds again by telling me it's none of my business!?????? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
So last week again he bled his heart via sms and said how bad off financially he was and how good I had it because I have the house, the government assistance etc.......... He thinks I personally get it all (no matter the kids) . He got 35% of ALL assets in the marriage. He is so jealous and selfish. I learnt not to respond so I didn't but just rolled my eyes (AGAIN)
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My H said shortly after bd that one of the reasons he was leaving was because the dog was too fat.......
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My goodness SF he was certainly scratching the bottom of the excuses barrel. So it wasn't you then ;)
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posted this on my thread but hey sharing here too. got this a couple of weeks ago by text
"That's interesting. I've had a couple of people independently tell me that they've read on various online profiles that you describe yourself as a 'single parent'. I cannot recall one moment in over 22 years that I was not being our children's co-parent. I understand that you are single and that you are also a parent of our 3 children but being a 'co-parent who is single' and being 'a single parent' are very different things"
um well he left a year ago
I have been the sole one paying mortgage /bills/ getting them up/ supporting/ cleaning for most of two years now
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posted this on my thread but hey sharing here too. got this a couple of weeks ago by text
" ......but being a 'co-parent who is single' and being 'a single parent' are very different things"
I think that has to be the craziest statement I've heard in all this!! Seems like another grasping at the 'I'm not doing anything wrong' straw! ::)
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My H said shortly after bd that one of the reasons he was leaving was because the dog was too fat.......
OMG ::) SF. I've been reading this and the old thread and some of what they say is just hilarious, weird and obviously some of it's really sad. In fact all of it's pretty sad even though it can be funny.
Calamity J you hit the nail on the head there - "He used to be an intelligent man"
I think the most bonkers thing my H has done so far was to leave a wedding anniversary card for me along with some champagne.
In the card he'd written that he didn't think it was right to ignore our first wedding anniversary (we've been together 17 years but only married for one) and that he was sorry that he'd let me down but hoped that I enjoyed the champagne.
Next to the card was a note asking me if I could get some of his special teabags next time I go shopping :o
You just couldn't make this stuff up lol
:) x
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My H said shortly after bd that one of the reasons he was leaving was because the dog was too fat.......
This ones priceless SF, i can't stop laughing!
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I know. What do you say? And of course it was my fault the dog was fat too....go figure!
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I thought we could do with a bit of a giggle. Perhaps trying to see the funny side of the long journey whenever possible.
I don't know about your MLC'er but mine does come out with some corkers at times!
Here's one:
I am learning to drive and will need a car very soon to take me and my dogs to and back from work. I'm opening up a shop.
My dogs are very needy and won't stay home alone without completely wrecking it so this is really the only way for me to work.
Besides, my black lab Suki is almost 10 and suffers with arthritis in her right hip and my other dog Diddy is a bit psychotic and not great walking on the lead and is scared of cars. So I was explaining to my ex today how I could take short cuts through the fields and make the walking journey easier on us 3. Seeing as I can't afford a car right now, I don't have much choice.
But my dear ex, as caring as he is ::) thought of great solution for me!
One of those:
(http://cdn.bicyclehero.com/catalog/product/cache/17/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/a/t/athatb_com_20110704_204551.jpg)
I think I pulled all those faces at once: :o ??? ::) ;D
Er....Diddy is cared of cars..... she would love this... ::)
I live at the top of a steep hill on a main road....
My dogs weigh 132lbs together!!!!
Seriously? ;D ;D
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Hi Forum,
Would anyone like to share some crazy justifications that their Mlcer uses.
Here's one "this would never have happened if you got up and made me a cup of tea in the mornings".
Strange thing is I did.
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Hi jackolar12
My H says having to give up his 'friend' would mean having to get back on the treadmill. Not sure what that means, but.......whatever.
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I just posted on another thread that my MLCer said it was because I didn't give him a big 50th birthday party. He never said he wanted one, but apparently wanted me to dig up a number of people I'd never met or heard of. He was already involved with OW. When I only did something casual for his b-day, that was the straw that really broke the camel's back for him.
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Hi jackolar12
My H says having to give up his 'friend' would mean having to get back on the treadmill. Not sure what that means, but.......whatever.
Hi,it may be he's trying to say his friend takes him away from his normal marital role, the treadmill of normal life.what are your thoughts.
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Added to the list of what many others have said.
Threads merged
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In reply to what Jos said about the treadmill.
I have long since believed sometimes we get told things that actually do have meaning and that is one of them.
ie.
If you google the meaning of treadmill you will come up with amongst other things.
A job or situation that is tiring or boring and from which it is hard to escape.
Jos please dont take that persoanally because it is themselves they are running from remember.
So next google escape
Meaning
break free from confinement or control.
A form of temporary distraction from reality or routine.
My h actually said ow was an escape.
Interesting isnt it, at one point I thought I could read into things where he was in the tunnel but it does not work because they cycle so much.
x
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Mine said we went to eat pizza too often...
dude we are Italian, unless you want to bring me to an expensive restaurant, pizza it is! Also I should like to point out HE was the one telling me every time he wanted to go have pizza.
Then he whined that we never went out to 'have fun' and get drunk. Well maybe instead of sneaking off to do it with OW he could have taken me. But hey... ;)
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One from my Genius
He called me ranting and raving because I had too many friends. I said I'm not the one with 412 friends on Facebook. He said that was different because those people on OW facebook couldn't possibly like her. I said oh I can your logic. You left me for a girl no one can possibly like. He said, that's right. She is just like me.
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When Genius told me again we couldn't be together because of the tv show everybody loves Raymond I replied I'm sorry but I'm not doing stupid today. He asked, well how about tomorrow? I replied, tomorrow is not looking good either. He then yelled, see OW always makes time for stupid. I said, I see. Well then maybe you should call her. He yelled, OW does not matter at all. I don't want to talk to her. Well she is a person so I guess she matters in that sense. BUT SHE IS NOT IMPORTANT!!!
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Finally, one last goodie:
Since the only way to communicate with him was Facebook, I once posted, I want off this train wreck. He posted, you are off it.
See they do know they are messed up and the OW is really not important in the overall scheme of things.
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We watched too much TV. Funny thing is he and OW could be seen online discussing the TV shows they were watching together long distance. ::)
He told me in email the other day 'I know what I said.' Really? Because I have the email where you told me the exact opposite. That's why I only text or email him anything important.
He also told me once that I don't know how to love. You mean you stayed with someone for 11 years that didn't know how to love? I think that was a bit of projection there. ;)
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Mine said I walked to fast in front of the pram, my youngest was 17 at the time.
Talk about rewriting history, the judge said to my Mlcer, this is not evidence it's history.
My lawyer had a good chuckle over this and said to me she's really scraping the bottom of the barrel for something to make you seem unreasonable soooo I went home and cut the gussets out of her underwear.
I found her stash of new sexy underwear hidden under my oldest daughters clothes in the airing cupboard ( she never wore theses for me).
My daughters a size 8 and these were size 16 so I guess I got it right.
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My H said one reason was that I would not have sex with him at our parents' house when we were visiting them. Keep in mind that we go see our parents no more than 3 times a year for maybe a few days at a time, if that. We have gone without visiting my parents(b/c they are cool and don't pressure us) for more than a day trip some years. So yeah, maybe a week all told that he would have to suffer. And I don't know about you guys but neither set of parents is a big turn on for me.
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My 17 year old daughter ( primed by her mum) got angry with me and said I had ruined her friends mothers underwear. To which I calmly replied your friend should tell her mother not to leave her kinky underwear in my house or it will happen again. More midlife Mlc insanity relayed through the mouth of my daughters.
I checked on Facebook and found my two daughters and their mum on the r u interested site looking for fellas. When I questioned this with them they said the were not on there. I showed them the picture I printed off and they still denied it.
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"I used to hate douchebags but then I became the biggest one"
Why yes, yes you did!
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I will remove you from the list Mamma. ;D Last summer my H was telling me how much better I have it here at the house than he does at his condo. To ram his point home he bellowed" I only have basic cable and YOU have HBO!"
MINE SAID THIS TOO!!!! OMG!!!!! Word for word... Oh and that I had the furry babies and unlimited internet!!!!
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It's a crime to the universe to be this unhappy
I'm half the man I could be today because of you
I have done things I didn't want to do and not done I wanted to do because of you
When I met you I was F@@@@ed up and I thought I had rebuilt myself but I realise I have built myself wrong in this relationship I need to go away and rebuild myself properly!!!
I think one of my most favourite of all being It's a crime to the universe to be this unhappy
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I'm starting a thread where we can affectionately laugh at our MLCers. It really helps!
Feel free to share links or stories that will help us see the lighter side of MLC.
(Hoping to keep this humor on the gentle side.)
Valentine's Day Poems for Married People (New Yorker)
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/valentines-day-poems-for-married-people
Meet Your Second Wife (SNL)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HL4izodaH80
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If my situation wasn't so tragic and maybe when the shock wears off, I would find this to be funny.
On the day that xW filed for divorce she sold her Yukon Denali SUV, it was a beautiful, nice, loaded vehicle, and bought her MLC car. It was an Infiniti G35, used but very nice, she bought it from a teenage boy leaving for college. So you can imagine the nice wheels, stereo, and etc.
After purchasing the car, S17 and xW get into an argument- he wants to drive it, she says no that's my car. She finally relents and let's him drive it home, the long way home. Two hours later I'm at a church function with S14 and I get a phone call from S17- "Dad, come get me now!" what is it? "I wrecked mom's new car".
Uh-oh, Are you okay? "yes". He was not hurt but totaled his mother's MLC car.
Big fight between S17 and xW- she didn't even ask him if he was okay. He threw some truth darts at his mother- "You don't care about me, dad, or our family" "You don't give a $hit about us" "Dad has done everything to save this family" "You're being selfish" "I hate you" "I hate this house" etc. It was like water off a duck's back- in other words it didn't bother her.
So yes I'm sure that we will look back and laugh about this one day, we now refer to the car as mom's "two-hour car".
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Old standards that never fail. ;D
Soulmate Schmoopies:
https://soulmateshmoopies.wordpress.com/
Midlife Crisis for Dummies:
http://midlifeclub.com/midlife-for-dummies.htm
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Lol I read the midlife story Ready thank you for a much needed laugh : ;)
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Velika, I've merged the thread with a current one we already have on MLCer funny things.
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Mine likes to throw up in my face that he is living in a half finished house no ty no interest etc,.... my reply
Ur the one that walked out I have all those things
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I feel like I have stepped into the twilight zone
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Mine said the other day that he didn't do something because my dad gave him a mean look last time he saw him. Duh! I said you are lucky he didn't slap the $hit out of you.
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Mine said the other day that he didn't do something because my dad gave him a mean look last time he saw him. Duh! I said you are lucky he didn't slap the $hit out of you.
Ha! When my dad wouldn't shake his hand at D's graduation, H said he was acting childish. I wasn't pleased with Dad but um...pot? This is kettle...
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I guess the one that stands out most in my mind is:
After I went back post divorce:
One day all 6'4" 300 lbs of him came running in the room with a look of panic on his face and declared:
"They are going to get rid of the Easter bunny!!!
I turned to look at him and wanted to say
No dumb ass... they aren't going to get rid of the Easter bunny . The Easter bunny makes too much money. But I didn't.
He watched too much fox news (shouldn't allow small children to do that).
It puts strange ideas in their heads.
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I feel like I have stepped into the twilight zone
Yes, yes you have.
Mine said the other day that he didn't do something because my dad gave him a mean look last time he saw him. Duh! I said you are lucky he didn't slap the $hit out of you.
Don't you sometimes wish someone would? Just because? At least verbally, anyway.... One day all 6'4" 300 lbs of him came running in the room with a look of panic on his face and declared:
"They are going to get rid of the Easter bunny!!!
The keeping of the straight face gets difficult at times. I have actually straight up laughed at my H on occasion. I know it isn't the right thing to do, but I just can't help myself sometimes.
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Mine hasn't said anything too funny lately, since he barely says anything at all. He still lives in an old funeral home and for the newbies who were not around last year to read about this, my mlcer has what I like to call his "porno camper". ;D :o ::)
He built himself a camper...and then he took cartoon girls like the Flintstone wives and the girls from Scoobie Doo and painted them as well endowed women (in the cold, if you know what I mean ::) ). They are scantily clad in sheer babydoll nighties...on the outside of the camper. There is also a naked witch on a broomstick on the inside of the door.
In true mlc fashion, he had to have it, worked real hard on it, and has since abandoned it without ever using it. I tend to think perhaps he and ow did not fit in there together since it is just 4ft wide. I don't know what campground will ever let him in with that paint job.
Can't make this sh!t up!
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i haven't laughed this hard in a long time....
Just exactly where does he plan on taken his sin wagon??? Those cute little ladies who run the gates at the national parks might fall over dead!!!!!
Spmm once stated that holding him hostage in a marriage he no longer wants, is socialism and against his constitutional rights...
I still don't know... But being a social studies teacher, it made me giggle...
Pretty sure George, John, James, and Thomas did not have MLC, d, and spmm future constitutional rights on their minds at the time.. But ok, let's play..
It was then, i realized how much I've changed, I simply said and where did you find this?? Response, the constitution. Me, of the us? I realized at this point the utter nonsense in his argument and decided I'd earned a little fun at his expense.. Please don't judge me, :)
His response- are there any others??
I know, I know... It's just too easy...
Me- yes, there are.
Spmm- well I'm talking about the one that says I don't have to stay married to you anymore..
I finally gave up.. At that point it would just be mean...
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Medfly,
That's excellent and I definitely needed that laugh. Going on with his antics would have been mean but hell it could have gotten better ;D
If we could only predict and record what they say for them to hear later would be a learning tool.
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I felt like I was on an episode of jay Leno.. Jay walking.
I think the time he threw a fit about his white shirts having some weird stain on the collars.. Our dryer was going out... He'd throw a fit, I'd re wash and bleach his shirts, only for him to explain to me the dryer needs to be fixed...
And proceeded to do absolutely nothing about it... Except throw a fit... Mrs Eggshell dancer here, would check them to make sure they didn't have marks... 6 months I put up with this..
Last time I saw him, beginning of November, he had on one of those white shirts...
Collar looked like it'd been rolled in dirt... I said your shirt is dirty, he says, I know and pulls away...
Nope, still doesn't make sense. Yes, he got the washer and dryer...
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Mine hasn't said anything too funny lately, since he barely says anything at all. He still lives in an old funeral home and for the newbies who were not around last year to read about this, my mlcer has what I like to call his "porno camper". ;D :o ::)
He built himself a camper...and then he took cartoon girls like the Flintstone wives and the girls from Scoobie Doo and painted them as well endowed women (in the cold, if you know what I mean ::) ). They are scantily clad in sheer babydoll nighties...on the outside of the camper. There is also a naked witch on a broomstick on the inside of the door.
In true mlc fashion, he had to have it, worked real hard on it, and has since abandoned it without ever using it.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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This isn't a mlcer quote but reminds me of myself. From Garry Shandling [forgive me if I misquote]
He said, 'My girlfriend & I broke up today. She moved in with another guy & that's where I draw the line. So I dumped her.'
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My MLCer to me:
"You know I don't like surprises" :o ???
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OH Geez, seriously almost peed my pants laughing so hard.
My husband said, now that you don't control me, I'm going to work on my social life, then went and set in his truck in the garage and that didn't change that for 18 months. ???
FH