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61
Our Community / Help Please 5
« Latest by Dragonfly33 on December 07, 2025, 10:34:04 PM »
Ready I admire not just your wisdom but also your kindness despite how you were treated. I hope your exw will realize one day what she lost not that it matters to you anymore.
62
Our Community / Full Moon Alert VII
« Latest by UrsaMajor on December 04, 2025, 05:40:39 AM »
And for the full moon tonight (last full moon for 2025) and a "Super Moon" to boot
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Tonight is The Full Cold Moon, it is called the Cold Moon because after tonight the temperature will start to drop rapidly. It is also known as The Oak Moon and Yule Moon. This is an especially special Full Moon because it is the final Full Moon of 2025. This will also be one of the biggest and brightest Moons of the year.
The Full Moon tonight will also be a Supermoon. The Supermoon occurs when the Moon is the closest to the earth more than any other time of the year, making the Moon appear up to 30% bigger and brighter than usual. The Supermoon not only affects nature such as the tides and wildlife it also affects us, our emotions will be heightened, our senses will be sharp, things that were hidden or in the shadows can now be seen. A Supermoon amplifies the effects of a normal Moon, we will be feeling ultra-sensitive and emotional at this time.
Tonight's Full Moon is in the sign of Gemini, it will be an intense highly charged Moon filled with strong emotions coming to the surface, don't hold them back let them out, this is a time of release, of letting go and being our own true authentic selves, let the world see the real you. Something has been building inside of us and now is the time when the energy of the cosmos demands that we let it out.
This is a particularly lucky Full Moon, so don't be afraid to go for the things you want, lady luck is shining on you right now so be ready for all that the universe is ready to gift you, open your hands and your heart and take your universal gifts. Don't be scared to dream big and ask for more. Be positive and open yourself up to allow the good to come in to your life. Be ambitious, go for what you want or put plans into place to get what you want in the future. You will have an inner strength now that will pull you through anything that comes up against you.
This is a time to look back on the year passed and reflect on all the lessons we have learned and the people who have come and gone in our lives. As we come to the end of this year we should use the energy of this Full Moon to energize ourselves for the coming Yule and New Year. All the inner work you have focused on this year will now be the foundation for bringing more power, love and energy into your life in this creative, forward-moving period. On this Full Moon we can truly bring in change and transform ourselves to be who we want to be, we will feel braver and more confident than usual. Good fortune will be on your side. Let your thoughts and desires manifest into something real.
This Full Moon brings light to whatever was hidden in the darkness or buried within the subconscious such as emotional pain or our deepest desires, but once awareness happens you are able to make realistic changes. Our emotional levels move like strong turbulent waves in the ocean during high tide for some on this Full Moon in Gemini, we may feel at a cross roads in our lives and are unsure of which path to take, trust your instincts and let them guide you. Emotional reactions may be strong, energies may feel irritable or uptight, but don't worry this will soon pass.
We are amidst great times of transformation which are heralding major new beginnings. Change isn't always easy or comfortable and it’s constant, so we must strive to keep our balance during these changing tides. Embrace the changes coming and steer them in a positive direction.
Let the air element of Gemini blow away any negativity, let the energy of this Full Moon sweep over you and heal your spirit, use it to heal you both emotionally and physically. Let the moonlight bathe and sooth you, body and soul. Seek a balance of light and dark and see the truth in your life however much it may hurt, only then can we do something about it. Now is a time of reaping the rewards of all the hard work we have put in this year and try and relax a little and let the current take you to a new and exciting New Year.

63
Our Community / Help Please 5
« Latest by readytofixmyselffirst on December 03, 2025, 10:03:00 AM »
Hello,

I am so sorry that you are in such a situation. I am past all custody, child support, and alimony.

Quote
She just wants what she wants but there is a suspicion that it may be due to a reduction in child support if they stay over on the Sunday. The reality is that the case on the Sunday night js hopeless and no father in Australia has been ordered to return their kids at 7 pm on a Sunday.

In the above sentence, my ex and you ex are in the same boat. She was suspicious of every transaction or issue where she had to sign or take action. In one of our retirement supplements. She was going to receive a lump sum and no interest would be applied until she removed her asset from my account. As expected, she would not sign any documents to receive her funds. Then she kept asking the financial advisor how she was going to get. He would reply that you are getting x dollars. She would then ask about interest and he would reply until you sign that document, you are not getting any interest at all. It will be x dollars today, x dollars tomorrow, and x dollars ten years from now. She finally signed the document. As per my retirement, there were more documents to be signed. She wouldn't sign them. I finally took the forms into court, filed a motion, and the court signed on her behalf. Over three years to get that accomplished. I could have submitted a different option that would have hurt her and enabled me to become whole again, but I didn't want to cross that path and selected the option that benefited her.  You see, even when presented with the opportunity to hurt her, I took the higher road- just like you have done.

After all was said and done, she sent me a text thanking me for taking care of everything. Just crazy. I don't know if they just reflect on their own actions and deceit and feel that since they have done it to us, that we would do the same back to them.

Just a thought- I really have no clue.

Keep taking care of your daughters and be careful,

(((Ready)))
64
Our Community / Re: It’s been 2 months
« Latest by Baxter1 on December 02, 2025, 03:40:45 AM »
I’m so sorry 35 years had to end this way. I’m a glass half full type person so I am grateful for the 25y that we had together. That being said it still is horrible to have  such an ending, I guess after 35y you figure you’re on a good place in life, life has other plans it seems. Good luck on this new phase, a phase no one wants but here we are.
65
Our Community / It’s been 2 months
« Latest by LC on December 01, 2025, 06:53:18 PM »
Thank you  Kaydee and Madluv for the kind words.
 
I am  learning to turn a bit of that empathy towards myself. It’s a difficult thing at times as I have always considered the two of us, when making decisions.  Now I am thinking more in terms of what is good for me and what is good for the kids.

I know I haven’t updated in awhile.   It’s been a long summer and fall and I’m still processing this thing that has become my life. XH  hired a divorce attorney, back in June. He told me that his attorney recommended that he hire a mediator and try to reach a settlement.  So, I got two free  consultations with two different lawyers and learned what  kind of settlement I could expect to get.  The second lawyer told me that I could do mediation and if it didn’t work out, I could hire him to represent me.     So, XH and I  went thru mediation.
During mediation, the man sitting across the table from me was not the man I used to know.  His eyes were dark and glassy and he kept fidgeting.  It was just so strange to me seeing him like that.  He spent the entire 3 hours clicking his pen.  Sometimes he had a gaze like a child, with flashes of anger when a disagreement arose.  I really appreciated our mediator. He was calm  and knew what to do to keep things moving forward. I guess he handles stuff like this all the time.  We worked out a settlement. I got alimony, child support for  3 kids, 3/4 ewuity in our home, because his retirement accounts were empty.
Since our case was uncontested, we just needed  a judges signature.  Xh kept stalling on paperwork. He ended up filing at the end of September.  I filed my response.
November 20th, our divorce was finalized. A  judge’s signature marked the end of our marriage.  We were married for 35 years, 5 months and 18 days.  I don’t recognize this man who used to be my husband.  I can’t believe a man who was once so loving, with flaws like every other human being could turn into someone who throws away his family and even treats his adult children like garbage.  I feel  have come a long way with acceptance and detachment, but every so often, I do have a WTF moment. 

Sorry this badly written I am upset and typing all of this on a tiny phone screen.


Thank you ,  everyone for listening.  I read all of your updates and think of you often.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers, as we journey on our path, together.





66
Our Community / Help Please 5
« Latest by Helpnewc on November 26, 2025, 10:59:45 AM »
Dear Off-road,

There is no logic to the Sunday night. She just wants what she wants but there is a suspicion that it may be due to a reduction in child support if they stay over on the Sunday. The reality is that the case on the Sunday night js hopeless and no father in Australia has been ordered to return their kids at 7 pm on a Sunday.

I am very careful with her. We use an App to communicate that keeps a record that cannot be changed. She recently asked to stop doing that but I have refused until the final orders are made. She regularly sends messages when she ignores me for days on the App about the girls indicating I can call her but then does not answer the phone. I just simply ask her to check her notifications.

There is some indication there may be movement and we may resolve. The inevitability of the outcome and the costs seems to be having an impact but I manage my expectations. Nothing rational is going on.

Thank you for your message. I am very conscious of the dangers. In many respects I have had it easier than many men with the false accusations only relating to financial control and not to family violence. I was never controlling but the fiction leads to outcomes in the Australian system and is also necessary to justify her behaviour.

Help
67
Our Community / Help Please 5
« Latest by OffRoad on November 25, 2025, 07:56:45 PM »
The hard part is getting to and past whatever court appearances you end up having to go through.  Curiously, what do you want, to drop the girls at, say 9 PM on Sunday? Do you know of the reason for 7PM on Sunday? (just asking). You deserve to spend the same amount of time with your daughters as she does.  I hope that the holidays are also mapped out in your offer. At this point, you are probably wise to stay away from her as best you can. A friend of mine went to pick up his kids and his ex invited him in to the house. Then she accused him of assaulting her ( no such assault took place, but prove it when you have a crazy person accusing). It sounds to me like she is trying to set him up so he won't get custody at all. I told him stay outside of the house, always. At least until the ink on the final child arrangements is dry.

It is great that you can be a better father. I hope you and the girls enjoy every minute you have together.
68
Our Community / Re: It's A Wonderful Life
« Latest by beyondblessed on November 21, 2025, 10:37:14 AM »
Hey, TH, yes the knee issue has definitely thrown a monkey wrench into my gym life, but other things have been happening, too!  I need to update badly, but honestly, I guess I just didn't know who was really still following me, since technically, I moved on with my life so quickly and never looked back on my lost M or kept any sort of connection or contact with my xh at all.  I guess I just feel like I'm talking about me, and I don't really have anything else to contribute MLC-wise because I never really allowed myself to get sucked in to all of xh's crazy.

I touched on how crazy healthcare has gotten, so just in the last couple weeks, I have found a new job in the county school system working in their food and nutrition department, which is a huge blessing, since when I went into healthcare in the very beginning, that was where I was at.  It's my niche and what I enjoy doing, hence the bakery.  Which, by the way, I am officially doing, with the Christmas holiday coming up!  So, yes, a lot us happening here on my end!  Always moving and always evolving!  Seems to be the theme in my life.  Hard to believe all the changes that have happened in the almost-10 years since this MLC crap came about.

Oh, and I almost forgot....Popeye and I adopted the sweetest little baby girl from the local Humane Society.  She is a terrier mix with at least some Doberman and possibly Shepard also.  Her name is Daisy, but should be Nosy because she's all about being at the windows watching everything that's going on lol

Never a dull moment.  Life goes on.
69
Our Community / Full Moon Alert VII
« Latest by UrsaMajor on November 20, 2025, 11:19:17 PM »
Where did everybody go?

This one is almost like getting a "Get Out of Jail Free to have an MLC"  :o
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Tonight is the New Moon is in the sign of Scorpio. It is time to shake off the old, release what is dying and let go of what is not working for us. Scorpio is about death and rebirth. This is a cycle of completions and new beginnings. We are being called to trust our deepest instincts and follow where they are taking us.
The Scorpio New Moon is all about change, just like a Scorpion shedding its skin we will feel the need to get rid of any negative attachments holding us down and stopping us from moving forward. This New Moon is about sweeping your life clean of negative clutter. Our belief systems can crumble, routines and relationships may breakdown, structures that you have built up are challenged, things that you may have thought were reliable and dependable can come to an end, then new doors open and new chapters begin, you will be ushered into a new phase of your life.
Create the space for positive energy to enter your life. What is not working this New Moon will be highlighted. You will see new pathways and options opening for you. You can become who you truly want to be, rather than who you think you are supposed to be, this is the true meaning of transformation. Don't be afraid to look deep into yourself and ask serious questions, explore both your dark and light side, as we embrace our own darkness we become whole. We are all made of dark and light the trick is not to let one take over the other, to embrace them both equally as both are equally important, without darkness there is no light, without light there is no darkness. We acknowledge the truth of who we are, which will help us see the truth of others.
Scorpios strength is that it isn't afraid of the dark and so when the Moon is in Scorpio it is a perfect time to look at our shadows and see what we've been in fear of, what we have been suppressing and repressing and then dealing with it. When we face our inner demons and fears they aren't as scary as we once thought they were. Scorpio is keen about seeing the truth and if we can be truthful with ourselves, we will have a great opportunity to complete some aspect of our lives and begin a new phase.
Let us use these rare insights the Scorpio New Moon will bring to fuel our understanding of ourselves and the world around us, to allow us to see the big picture of what is occurring in our lives, so that we can easily navigate the changing tides. Scorpio holds the power of the water element, this will have our emotions on high alert, let your raw emotions come to the surface this will allow you to heal both mentally and physically.
Things are shifting now. Let’s move in a new and positive direction. The future is knocking at your door and is ready to take you on a new and exciting journey if you let it.
The New Moon in Scorpio is sure to leave its extreme emotional mark upon us. It almost dares each of us to go into the unknown and expose new parts of the self which are waiting in the wings to be discovered. Let the waters of Scorpio cleanse and heal you. Get to know yourself again and figure out what you really want.

70
Our Community / My journey post D
« Latest by Treasur on November 15, 2025, 06:45:58 AM »
I agree with everyone else. That was my experience too, that kind of muscle memory that can knock you to one side perhaps bc it is unexpected.

I would encourage you to look into EMDR. And it isn’t too ‘late’. My experience was that it sort of fades the colours of the muscle memory. Hard to put into words but I found it highly effective in ways I could not even have foreseen.

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