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1
Our Community / Slow journey of healing
« Latest by sachat3 on Today at 04:19:04 AM »
I’m probably the worst person to ask the level of contact because frankly I failed so many times. Especially at the start of this journey and after BD.

However I think for me I had to slowly ease into the way things are now. Cold turkey, so to speak would have been too hard for me to handle. Me and Clington actually get on fairly well 99.9% of the time. However, a lot of our chats tend to be face to face. We don’t really text as obviously people can read them. 😂 but it does make me laugh that he could be so blunt on a text “I will pick kids up at 9” to then FaceTime or come for collection and be happy smiley jokey joke joke.

I rarely reply to anything clington texts/says right away unless it’s time sensitive. This gives me time to think if I actually need yo reply or if I am replying out of habit. Sometimes he texts things like “what time will you and the kids be back” this is usually if we have been out and it’s his contact day. So I reply to that but just something like “soon” or a set time. I try and keep our chats about the kids and only the kids. Of course this is hard if the subject changes and naturally you follow the flow. I don’t mind it the kids see us laughing and joking and being nice together as I think they need that as opposed to arguments or awkwardness. But unless the kids wee present or we are talking about the kids. I don’t really speak to him. When it’s my time with the kids I could go days with no contact.
2
Our Community / Get Through Today
« Latest by Music45 on Today at 04:10:22 AM »
Hello Rose, yes me and the kids. One furloughed from work, the other home from Uni. All well so far.
Lovely to hear from you.

I'll update while I'm here. Any movement I thought H was making around the time of his Father's funeral has slowed then stopped it seems. He was definitely different. More in touch with his Mum (staying with her once a week which of course has had to stop), more in touch with his sister etc.
He has been very busy at work. Setting people up to work from home and monitoring systems etc. He's never really contacted me from wherever he's living. If he called it was always from work, the car or his Mums so now he's at "home" he doesn't call. I still get messages from him via WhatsApp but little else.
Maybe Coronavirus has saved me from what was going to be a touch and go. Certainly feels like it.
He is being considerate to a degree. He's dropped off some bits we needed etc. He checks in with the kids regularly with calls and messages. He's worried about getting ill and the arrogance of earlier MLC times has faded.
Coming up on 4 years this month.

Stay well all x
3
Our Community / Get Through Today
« Latest by Rosetintedglasses on Today at 03:56:29 AM »
Hope you are getting on ok Music.

How is lockdown? Is it you and the kids?

Stay well
Rose 🌹
4
Our Community / COVID-19, Coronavirus. Its real, stay safe!
« Latest by Nerissa on Today at 02:33:58 AM »
The article is quite odd.  He writes:   “Italy has a third world medical system with good pasta, red wine and gelato”   

He also says Italians smoke and drink, but then goes on to say Italy has a higher  number of elderly People .  That’s true - Italians have a life expectancy of 83 while Americans live, on average, until 78.

And then he spends the last part railing against closure of church services.

Oh my.

In any case, surely herd immunity is what is being achieved everywhere  by default until a vaccine is found?  The World is just trying to slow it down in order to cope as best they can.

Thanks for posting different viewpoints Though Brain.


5
Our Community / He’s having a mlc 7 - Courage
« Latest by sachat3 on Today at 01:56:09 AM »
When you were describing Corona as a BD I felt every word. So so true.

Your H is still in voodoo land but i guess that’s the consequences of his choices. Your sound well girl!
6
Our Community / Re: COVID-19, Coronavirus. Its real, stay safe!
« Latest by marvin4242 on Today at 01:43:54 AM »
MBIB: that article is a deeply concerning and uncaring viewpoint. The conclusions that “its not a big deal to let it run wild” has already been disproven in Italy and Spain as compared to S Korea, China and Germany which have much lower death rates. The facts of the disease and epidemiology are correct, but then that is extended to an argument that says let the old and vulnerable die in order to minimize economic damage. To me this is where the crux of so much human suffering and cruelty lies: the question of what do we value most in our societies.

If we value optimal economic well being and wealth then the article is correct. If we value well being of people then it is completely off the mark. We have to ask ourselves what is the point of money and wealth? Up to a point it is a direct correlation to safety, well being, food, shelter, and health. No one in the US living anywhere near minimum wage has achieved that. That number on the average for a family is somewhere around $70-80K mark (varies widely by region). So what is point of money and wealth after that? To accumulate possessions? To get better things? Psychologist who study measures of happiness show that happiness ratings increase up to around that point (for obviously reasons that safety and shelter are important to well being) but flatten out after that and do not rise significantly in the long term.

What I believe Covid-19 is showing about the US is how threadbare our social system has become. Vast majority of people live paycheck to paycheck and any disruption is catastrophic. We have minimal or non existent social support systems, and they are completely different state by state so we have no uniformity. Our healthcare system is patchwork of various non coordinate networks that are showing their weakness compared to a centralized one. And a lot of people still can’t afford quality healthcare. So in a way for the non vulnerable the damage is coming from the economic devastation. That is not an epidemiological problem, that is a societal problem.

You have to ask yourself if we are the “strongest,” “richest,” “the best” what does that mean. Shouldn’t the strongest society in the world easily withstand the stress of a weak pandemic virus? We definitely have the wealth and resources to support our citizens while we make sure people don’t die needlessly until we carefully develop herd immunity. We have to be willing and able to have a fair and functional society. We are able, but it seems we are not fully willing.

What does that say about us? Societies and groups have lived through wars with massive devastation and have made decisions for the greater good. In a way this virus is something that is not in that scale. Yet some are arguing we should sacrifice lives in order to protect economic well being. The correct answer is to use our vast wealth to support and help the economically vulnerable, save as many lives as we can until we develop herd immunity. That is happening in countries in Europe and UK. If we do we can look back afterwards and feel like as human beings we were stronger as a group rather than standing as individuals.

Imagine if we lived in a society where most people could afford to save three to six months of their expenses from their income. The economic devastation that is happening to most people who live paycheck to paycheck would not happen.
7
Our Community / Another Day in MLC-land 6
« Latest by sachat3 on Today at 01:16:26 AM »
Erm from my POV it could be plausible that your X is popping in to catch a man in the house. Those familiar with my story will know it’s likely what Clington does. He tends to pick the girls up earlier than expected or drop them off earlier and walks around the house, walking in as many rooms as he can etc. When he lived next door. My female friend came over got some wine. I’ve never known him to spend so much time on the drive and knock on for random things. But I guess a 9 hour drive might be a bit excessive. I guess time will tell.
8
Our Community / He’s having a mlc 7 - Courage
« Latest by Music45 on April 04, 2020, 11:02:04 PM »
So good to hear from you, Rose. I've been wondering how you are. You sound calm and composed.
Stay safe x
10
Our Community / Another Day in MLC-land 6
« Latest by megogirl on April 04, 2020, 06:58:17 PM »
Kit, et al

I just had an inkling.  Please tell me your thoughts.  Because it’s totally possible that I’m monkey-braining, but I don’t think I am  (?)

XH showed up unexpectedly and at the last minute this morning.  I’ve deleted S17 as a friend on FB, once I’d figured out XH was using his account to spy on me and to see what I was doing.  That was about three weeks ago. 

Is it at all possible that he was looking to see if there was some dude here?  Hoping to catch me in the act, so to speak?

It sounds crazy but MLCers are, plus he’s a very jealous person and a control freak.  The fact that he’s remarried only adds to the theory, as it is totally plausible that I’d be dating someone.  After all, I’m single.

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