I look back and am very grateful I ended mine quickly. It's painful either way, but at least the practical/business parts were complete.

And the marriage was over well before that anyway, as we well know. I just didn't know it.

I´d like to think that in a few months you will be grateful to have reached a conclusion sooner than later. As someone who let it drag out for around 3 years due to various reasons, if I could go back in time I would have ended it much sooner. You have spared yourself years of further heartache. You reached acceptance much quicker than many. Though the pain is still brutal, your acceptance has spared you even more pain.

I'm sorry about the divorce Baxter, it's brutal to have to go and you don't get any say in it. Glad to hear that you guys are amicable and that she didn't bleed you dry for alimony. I recognize the BS excuses for divorce so much..

You are going through your journey with so much grace and stability for you and your kids, my compliments to you! I wish you all the best and let's see what the future holds for you.

Welcome back Father5! I never interacted with you before but spent a fair bit of time reading along your threads.

Congratulations on the business. That is no small feat in the best of times.

I can very much relate to that gnawing needing of her to acknowledge her behavior, to acknowledge its consequences, and behind it all to actually see me. In my case, it was/is layers and layers of grief. I can't imagine my ex will ever give me an apology. It is completely unfathomable to me.

Journalling

There was a traffic accident on the expressway the night after work I went to meet KM to photograph her for her business. The time I got there it was after sunset and she had left. Kinda miffed she couldn't have at least waited before departing with the guy she's seeing. I won't be asking to reschedule.

While rubbing my back on Oct. 1st something popped and I now have a sciatica nerve issue. Horrendous burning pain down my left leg. sigh. It's very painful and constant. I've done stretching and medication. So soon at my new job, I don't have insurance for another month. Seeing a chiropractor for free consultation tomorrow.

Sunday was my out of state hike and I rode with JKR, her bf and bestie TPB. I mentioned this to KA and she just said "Double date" and "No messing around in the back seat." We ended up going a few hours earlier to have breakfast and look for Petoskey stones on the lake. By the order of the pickup I was in the backseat with TPB. She's been my closest woman friend this year. The hike was rugged with 14 attending including buddy JS. There was lunch after and the drive back TPB and I were sharing phone pics and I couldn't help notice but our arms touching for extended amounts of time. Always aware when I'm being touched. I got it out of her one time last year that if I wasn't with KA, she'd be attracted. I decided I was gonna take a break from texting her as it'll be some time before I see her again. The next morning she texted me a photo of this weeks full moon and I admitted I had a sexy dream about her that morning. Got called a bad boy and I can't help what dreams are and under the right circumstances its not a bad thing to be very naughty. Sheesh, this is starting to sound bad. Like I said she's my closest woman friend right now.

Tonight is my last time seeing KA for 12-14 days as she's leaving the country for work. When she returned we will celebrate our combined birthdays (two days apart) with her D13 too. I'll use the time to decorate for Halloween and shop for her.