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Our Community / Re: The Road Not Taken VIII
« Last post by Anjae on Today at 04:33:29 PM »
So happy you found both your girls on FB, In It.  :)

Hope your daughter replies and you get to see them, or at least start to have some contact with them, soon.

Agree with Ready2, too much contact may not be a good thing. It may seem like pressure/despair.

Saying things once, and get in contact when something relevant, like the trip, comes up is fine. Constant contact to remind them of what was already told to them is, in my opinion, too much.

Our Community / Re: He’s having a mlc 3 - Hope
« Last post by Acorn on Today at 04:30:29 PM »
When I read your posts, I sense calm and relaxed aura around you.  No wonder your H feels comfortable to drop by, do things for the family and stay awhile.  You don’t stand there arms akimbo and pouting.  You just roll along easy peasy.  And why not as long as he treats with you respect and not take advantage of your good nature.   Well, I hope he moves right along and get himself sorted out before the same old gets too old and too slow for everyone concerned. 

Let us know about the next holidays...  A seed has been unwittingly planted by a child.  Bless her.

Our Community / Re: Book 5 ... Chapter 1
« Last post by Anjae on Today at 04:29:41 PM »
Wonderful news, Never.

That's great news about your husband since most MLCers look for somebody to blame.

MLCers look for someone to blame while they are deep in crisis. When out, or when the light starts to go in, they tend to know it was them.
Our Community / Re: Book 5 ... Chapter 1
« Last post by MyBrainIsBroken on Today at 03:47:45 PM »
That's great news about your husband since most MLCers look for somebody to blame.
Our Community / Re: The Road Not Taken VIII
« Last post by in it on Today at 03:42:02 PM »
Ready2 Thank you so much for posting I always read your posts wherever you make them. You are one of the truly wise here combined with a bit of optimism. :)

I don't plan on keeping right after her..I'd find that off putting myself after what she's been through. Of the two of my girls she was always the most kindhearted and her attachment to her father was not healthy.

To be honest I don't think I'm ready for a get together just yet.

Both these girls were pretty angry when this all happened. After the D then this happened. I'm sure it didn't help that they had no control over anything ( I didn't either)  so that's why I'd really rather do this when they are ready.

I understand needing to vent but there's only so much I can bear of it. I just don't want to cause anymore emotional damage or pain to them then has all ready happened. I just want us to be able to heal.

If I had known what I was dealing with and wasn't in so much emotional and physical trauma myself when things blew up I wouldn't have sent the email I did to them.I was simply scared sh!tless, furious, and could not figure out just what the he!! was going on.

Totally confused, nothing made any sense..

It does now.

Thanks was children were my whole life at one time. Their absence in my life makes me very, very sad. I'm crying as I type this.. read to them.. I had sweet little nick names for them.. sang to them....held them.. cut their hay and when they got a bit older gave them facials.. taught them to take care of themselves..told them I loved them..cried with them.. laughed with them.

I tell my SO stories about them...
« Last post by Watcher on Today at 03:27:32 PM »
Hi Thunder 

I have to take this in stages. They saw and heard fighting right up until I left in March 2018. Let them have some peace before I drop this on them. S18 is in the clear as he gets to graduate. You know I spent 55,000 on 4 years of high school for him during the crisis.

In the meantime I have no residence of my own as I bounce around. I'm not complaining but I thought it was important at the time. I do feel sorry for S15 as I will have to withdraw him for his final 2 years. I have to withdraw my name from the contract in February as that is the only window they allow.

I can't spend money on everything. I am entitled to having a life and my own residence at some point. I am in total disagreement with my IC over S15 because I just dont have those 2 years left in me.

 It's close to 20 thousand out of my pocket. The lawyer needs money too. My point is there is just not enough money to go around.

I've been with a lawyer since Oct 2015. It was my decision to pay for education over a divorce. I believe I made the right decision at the time.

S15 is getting involved with wrestling at school. They continue to be positive.

Yes I worked 200 hours last year at the school and my volunteer obligation has not even started yet this year. Both parents are obligated and she will not help.

I found the grant paperwork in the garbage last Feb. That's what she thought of it.

I went back and saw S15. My older son must have had a school obligation. S15 loves to talk and his mom came home. We didn't see each other but she knew I was there. Her parents were with her as usual.

I stayed for a bit and left. I didn't see S18 because his room is right next to his mom's. Its uncomfortable and dangerous.

People haven't been with me the whole crisis. She did attempt a restraining order in Oct 2015 and used the boys as witnesses against me. We had 6 police officers that day.

LOL  I should have filed just because of Oct 4, 2015. That day alone warranted it.

It was denied. However, I know if she ever did get one passed then that will be her lottery ticket. I'm well aware and that's what I have to guard against. I have to be extremely careful.

I have 3 desperate gambling adults who will do anything in the end to protect themselves.

So now I'm off to financial aid night because I still have to be responsible.

Have a good night
Thanks  ;D

Our Community / Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
« Last post by Disillusioned on Today at 03:24:09 PM »
Chapter 1:  In Which Pooh Learns How to Burn All The Bridges
Our Community / Re: Flying Solo - A New Adventure for Me
« Last post by seahorse on Today at 03:21:07 PM »
Trying to make himself feel good for the things he did and felt proud of...
That way he doesn’t have to feel as bad for the ones he’s not proud of.
Just IMO.

Our Community / Re: When Tragedy Ushers in a Blessing
« Last post by shopgirl on Today at 03:09:32 PM »

Ha!  I like the term "accidental benefits"! 

There have been many times in the past couple years where I have had to pray "God, please just cover the words I just said with Your grace"  haha.   

I'm getting better, but man. There are times I nearly have to bite my tongue in order to not say something. 

And- in this season of MLC- I'm overthinking everything. I can drive myself batty worrying if I said something too friendly, not friendly enough- detach, detach, detach!!!!  I keep reminding myself of that. I was definitely more detached when he was running hard in replay.

Now, he came home and I was entirely too eager to break down my walls and move at lightening speed- even though I knew better- I forgot those lessons and ran with my heart, not my head...  Lesson learned on that one too.  I will not be repeating that.  It scared him, he ran, I hurt. 

Our Community / Re: My Book - He.Never.Said.A.Word
« Last post by nah on Today at 02:42:54 PM »
Nah has inspired me to write my own book about STBXW.  I think I will call it:  She.Said.Far.Too.Many.Words ;D

Omg,... I just spit out my drink.  ;D ;D ;D
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