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Our Community / Cleaning Out the Garage
« Latest by beyondblessed on Today at 12:20:39 PM »
DF....this trip sounds more and more intriguing as the non-planning plans come together.   Wonder if LB is making plans to visit the real Bermuda Triangle  since he's been living the alternate reality these last few years?
Our Community / Re: My intro story
« Latest by butterflyinthesky on Today at 10:29:22 AM »
Offroad, thank you for your kinds words.

Butterfly, it is so hard trying to sort everything out. The sadness comes and goes in waves, at least it did for me. It was a good two years before I even started to feel like a normal human being. (I have finally graduated to being able to read short stories, but still cannot read an entire book and I love to read)

It's funny you bring up the reading, I too have been unable to read since BD. I love to read and I usually set and met yearly goals of 25-30 books. Since BD, if it's not a self-help or devotional I just can't get into it. I did join a meetup book club so I hope that helps. 

It will  take as long as it takes to heal. The thing that helped me the most was finding things I liked to do, things that gave me satisfaction. I am a crafter, for one, so making something useful helped me a lot. I like to go to places that are off the beaten path, so I took to driving off road, joined a meetup group and met some fabulous people. I joined coloring groups and ghost hunting groups and hiking groups and volunteer groups, anything outside of my own mind.

If you sew or crochet, consider making chemo caps or baby blankets to donate. If you are limited on funds, consider finding covid friendly ways to volunteer your time (got old or disabled people in your neighborhood that need their trash cans brought to the curb? Our libraries have virtual tutoring for kids, maybe yours do, too.)

These are such awesome suggestions! I would have never thought about some of them. The ghost hunt group sounds fun! And I do have a sewing machine that's collect dust. Covid has made things a bit harder to do in groups but as we start getting back to a new normal I can look forward to trying out new things.

Our Community / Re: My intro story
« Latest by butterflyinthesky on Today at 10:22:29 AM »
BITS--I feel the pain in your post. I wish I could give you a big hug and let you cry it out. I think I used that exact word just the other day to describe the betrayal. Profound.

I could relate with nearly everything you wrote. You, me, we, all of us on here have to believe that this has happened for some purpose. We can not possibly know what is it yet but in time, perhaps, the picture will come together. Until then we must pick ourselves up every day and soldier on.

Thank you Kimber. I could so use a hug! lol I'm so "touch deprived" . It's been a nightmare. I'm a big hugger and I hate not being able to hug and soothe my prek students. It's just another thing that adds on to my situation.

There are days when I do believe there is a reason, maybe not even one I can understand now but maybe I will, maybe I don't. And then sometimes I'm stuck in poor/woe is me mode and it feels so pointless. But you are right, we pick ourselves up and soldier on.
Our Community / Cleaning Out the Garage
« Latest by Dumbfounded on Today at 10:13:45 AM »
Just checking in.

UM that is truly priceless. The forum needs to add a laughing hysterically emoji option because I think laughing should be encouraged here.

LB is on a guy's fishing trip this weekend at the outlaws other house down south. The kids told me. Then I noticed one of LB's old high school friends checked in to a fishing pier in Myrtle Beach on FB.  He has got the whole high school gang back together.  He is literally exactly where I found him in 1989  - living with his parents, driving a red car, hanging out with TF and K and fishing.  I guess he is happy back there in the 80s with MOO2.

I ran into my nephew again at the grocery store with D and he told us the most hysterical story about them trying to get passports.  Could have been a sitcom episode from the sounds if it.  He also told us that three of the travelling group are missing at least part of their first week of the fall college semester.  Boggles my mind that you would plan a vacation for a time that is not good for a good portion of your group and then insist that they go.

Still no passport for S.  Totally not my circus.               

Our Community / Stronger Now In Broken Places
« Latest by Dumbfounded on Today at 09:51:25 AM »
I love that you forgot Faith.  I forgot about my BD date this year - although it is only a week or so before my D date which is LB's birthday. So I just lump them all together in a special date of pampering for me day.     ;D
Our Community / BRAND NEW MAN 11
« Latest by Dumbfounded on Today at 09:45:36 AM »
I agree with OR and UM.  You have been out from under her control for years and look how long it has taken you to get your head screwed on straight.

These boys have NEVER been out from under her control. They know nothing else. No other way of living or being. S18 doesn't know how to drive or handle money or make money. He was just at the very beginning of learning about these things with you. I can only imagine how unsettling that was for a person who wants total control over someone.  So, she pulled the plug on that.       

These kids need a path out of this mind firetruckery.  I understand that they have to take the path out on their own but someone has to clear it for them so they can see it.   
Our Community / Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
« Latest by 9393roo on Today at 08:45:02 AM »
I love this. 

Thanks UM.
Our Community / Re: Rebuilding after Hurricane MLC
« Latest by marvin4242 on Today at 08:33:50 AM »
Again, it might be a semantics thing. If someone chooses to treat me in a way that is hurtful, that's on them. If I choose (assuming there is a real choice to be had) to allow someone to treat me in a way that is hurtful, not say anything about it and keep coming back for more, that's on me.

Offroad: a lot of good ideas to ponder in that post. But if I refer to Acorn’s basic premise I think there is a bit of a different idea here. I don’t hear her talk about responsibility, actions, or who owns what in a dynamic. Obviously someone who tried to hurt us it is ON them.

What I hear (and agree with personally) is that I own and am solely responsible for my emotions. Others above have said it in different ways. Its not about stuffing my emotions, becoming numb, pretending something doesn’t hurt. But when I am hurt that hurt is mine and mine alone. No one else can fix it, no one else can undo it. I can choose to sit in the hurt, I would even go as far as wallow in it. Be a victim, gain some strange satisfaction from that feeling. Even maybe wear it like a coat of arms and get some pats on the back from others. OR I can sit with my hurt, understand why I was hurt, did I leave a boundary open to someone who I should not have? Did misplace trust? Do I still harbor an issue where a strangers opinion of me has weight that it should not have? With the latter I use my emotions as a guide to learn and grow and become both more independent and ironically more AVAILABLE to others. Because when I am the owner of my own emotional safety I can take more risks. But if I am still looking outward for that then I will be more cautious and much less happy overall.
Our Community / Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
« Latest by xyzcf on Today at 06:28:43 AM »
UM thank you for sharing this.

So difficult at times to accept God's plans and timing.

Yet, He walks beside us in every moment of our lives.

Our Community / Re: Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
« Latest by Thunder on Today at 06:03:05 AM »
So very true!! 

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