[xyzcf]

Just a reminder that this is a discussion thread for people who have a Vanisher. As defined in RCR's articles:

Is my spouse dead? You may know they are alive and how they seem to be doing because of the grapevine, or you may not. This MLCer seems to drop off the earth. They may contact on occasion, but contact is rare.

Previous Thread:

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10256.msg680846#new

[Thunder]

Thanks xyzcf, I was just asking someone to start a new thread.   

I do think it's nice everyone has a "story" thread, even if they have a Vanisher and only want to post on this thread.
That is your right.
I don't have a Vanisher but I do read this thread off and on to see how everyone is doing.  Plus it's good to get this information for all Moderators.

Your story thread just gives everyone some background on what has happened to you.  Stats on your age, length of marriage, how many children, how did this all start with you....just your story.

I have a thread but RARELY update it for the same reason.  There isn't much to tell anymore.  But if someone wants to read my story, it's there.

Just a suggestion. 

Thanks xyzcf.

[Rising Phoenix]

I update my thread but as I don’t post as much on it as I tend not to get many reply’s. Hmm light bulb moment! Post more May = more replies.

I think I may need to re read what I post before I save as I know what I mean but others may not.
It’s more I get sweet fa. I could be dead and a. He wouldn’t know and b. He probably wouldn’t care. I know he isn’t dead as passed him on the road the other day.

Thanks xyzcf

[Ausgatorgirl]

My H is a vanisher. Don’t know where he lives or anything about his new life. Children get an email once a month but never tell me about it - they are adults. Only info I have been given is he is enjoying his new city and work.

Question for anyone with vanisher after divorce final plus 18 month. Does anything change - do they ‘want’ to touch base etc. Anyone got any idea what could be expected? Otherwise I guess I may never see him again after 34 years of (wonderful?) marriage?

No expectations, just after other experiences?? I’ve GAL, just discussing.

[Thunder]

Rising, just so you know, I do read your updates, I have since the beginning, I just don't always have anything useful to add.   

Nothing wrong with posting on the Vanisher thread too.

[stillbaffled]

I update my thread but as I don’t post as much on it as I tend not to get many reply’s. Hmm light bulb moment! Post more May = more replies.

Rising - just letting you know that it's not unusual to post an update and have it read 75 times and maybe only get one or two responses.  I don't post often on my thread and still find that there may be 100 reads but only a handful of responses.  I think it's pretty typical that there are many more readers than there are writers. 

Thunder - I always like to see you drop in on this thread!   

[Anjae]

Question for anyone with vanisher after divorce final plus 18 month. Does anything change - do they ‘want’ to touch base etc. Anyone got any idea what could be expected? Otherwise I guess I may never see him again after 34 years of (wonderful?) marriage?

Yes, things tend to change, but may remain the same for a long time. Some MLCer do vanish for years and then, one day, they show up out of the blue.

18 months is not that much in MLC world. Hard to tell how things will go and when your husband will stop being such a vanisher.

You may see him again. Just don't know when.

[Thunder]

Aw thank you Still.

Sometimes it's the only way to follow some of the people I care about.

I try to be quiet though.      

I know having a Wallower it was much easier to relate to other Wallower's stories, so I'm glad someone started this thread for Vanisher's.

They are both a different breed.

[Ausgatorgirl]

Thanks Anjae, yes early days I know, I can hardly remember what it was like being married to him. I feel like this new life is ‘me’ now. So so strange this world we find ourselves in. So much twilight zone (Limbo?).

Although I don’t post much I do hang out here probably too much. May have to try and limit the time....thanks.

[Anjae]

You're welcome, Ausgatorgirl

I feel like this new life is ‘me’ now.

For now, yes, this is your life. And all you can do is look after yourself.

So much twilight zone (Limbo?).

Twilight zone for sure. There will a limbo period for the LBS, but the MLCer and his/her crisis will remain Twilight zone.