[Mitzpah]

Megogirl,

Of course, we agree to disagree.

I just wanted to comment on this

p.s. Adultery breaks FIVE of the Ten Commandments.  FIVE!  And, that includes dishonoring your parents.....

p.p.s.  My BD was October 2016.

Your first p.s. lost me; and if your BD was two years ago, you are most probably wasting your time and energy sending truth darts... at this stage, they are still in the thick of replay according to RCR.

I think, with hindsight, that finding our own boundaries and using them is OUR biggest and most useful version of a truth dart. And much more productive for us.

This!!

[megogirl]

How did my first p.s. "lose you?"  Well, I'll just list the five:

With his adultery he has broken the SEVENTH

He has broken the FIRST because his mistress is an idol

He has broken the FIFTH because he has dishonored his parents

He has broken the NINTH because of all the lying he has done

He has broken the TENTH by coveting someone who is not his.

Quite the feat there, H!

I just figure that at the very least, S15 can learn a valuable lesson....or, FIVE....

[Mitzpah]

I see.

I rather think that you believe adultery to be the worst possible sin.

The God I believe in is full of mercy and love for the sinner. Who am I to condemn another sinner such as I? My h. is just as deserving of God's grace as I and that is what I pray for. It is not my responsibility to expose him, it is my responsibility to cover him in prayer.

[megogirl]

The God I believe in is full of mercy and love for the sinner. Who am I to condemn another sinner such as I? My h. is just as deserving of God's grace as I and that is what I pray for.

That is fine, but the Bible teaches us to confront sin, and the sinner.  God confronted sin in the Israelites again, and again. Jesus confronted sin in the Pharisees.  In his letters to New Testament churches, Paul confronted their sins without hesitation. 

The Bible's teaching on confronting people in sin is not popular in church (nor here either, apparently!)  It is not a good PR message; it is not a way to fill pews.  Confronting sinners is awkward. And we can't control how the sinner responds to the confrontation.  That is his responsibility, and God will hold him accountable.

But if we are to refuse to confront sin, we are violating the clear techniques of Scripture.  If we refuse to confront out H's sins, we're enabling it.  We're supporting it, and approving of it. 

And that causes us to sin because we're not doing as the Bible says to do. 

[Mitzpah]

I just don't think it is my place to do this to my husband and the father of my children.

[Onward]

The God I believe in is full of mercy and love for the sinner. Who am I to condemn another sinner such as I? My h. is just as deserving of God's grace as I and that is what I pray for.

That is fine, but the Bible teaches us to confront sin, and the sinner.  God confronted sin in the Israelites again, and again. Jesus confronted sin in the Pharisees.  In his letters to New Testament churches, Paul confronted their sins without hesitation. 

The Bible's teaching on confronting people in sin is not popular in church (nor here either, apparently!)  It is not a good PR message; it is not a way to fill pews.  Confronting sinners is awkward. And we can't control how the sinner responds to the confrontation.  That is his responsibility, and God will hold him accountable.

But if we are to refuse to confront sin, we are violating the clear techniques of Scripture.  If we refuse to confront out H's sins, we're enabling it.  We're supporting it, and approving of it. 

And that causes us to sin because we're not doing as the Bible says to do.

On most of this we actually do agree. Other than I believe human responsibility stops after compassionately pointing out to another believer their conduct may be out of sync with God's guidance. After that, as Billy Graham famously said, it's the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's place to judge, and my job to love.

[megogirl]

I just don't think it is my place to do this to my husband and the father of my children.

Not surprising.  Confronting any sinner is painful and difficult, especially if it's your spouse.

You won't hear many sermons on Matthew 18, and any other confrontation passages.  You won't see much confrontation going on in churches.  Looking the other way is a whole lot easier - but it's the opposite of what the Bible tells us to do.

That's why I am a Stander, yet have zero qualms about calling my H out on his BS......   

[megogirl]

Other than I believe human responsibility stops after compassionately pointing out to another believer their conduct may be out of sync with God's guidance

H has been banging this hooker for over two years.  Exactly how much compassion am I expected to have at this point?

That's why I took the liberty of calling him out with a single sentence: "You'd better hope that there is no afterlife."  Putting the onus squarely on him, and the God that he USED to follow.....

[xyzcf]

Christ came and told us to "love one another as I have loved you". He especially stated that we must love our enemies, those who abandon, betray and reject us.

He asked the crowd who wanted to stone the women who had committed adultery, who among them would cast the first stone...since no one did, he then spoke to her and said "Go and sin no more".

He will forgive all sin..if we repent and confess to him.

God also gave man free will. He did not want people to just follow him blindly but he gave us a choice to...quite a difference.

My conservative Irish priest told me a very long time ago, that I cannot "judge" what is going on in my husband's heart, that is between My xyzcf and God. He also told me love must be free.

God loved us so much, that he gave us the freedom to love Him and follow his commandments...there is also a great deal more spiritually that can be attacking our marriages and families. Evil does exist.

I trust in Jesus. His will not mine. I answer for my own sins and leave my husband in His hands knowing that there is no better place for him to be.

1 Corinthians 13:

1
If I speak in human and angelic tongues* but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.a
2
And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.b
3
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.c

4
* Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,d
5
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,e
6
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
7
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.f

8
* Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
9
For we know partially and we prophesy partially,
10
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
11
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
12
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.g
13
* So faith, hope, love remain, these three;h but the greatest of these is love.

[megogirl]

My conservative Irish priest told me a very long time ago, that I cannot "judge" what is going on in my husband's heart, that is between My xyzcf and God

THIS.....

Although, I don't feel what I said was at all judgmental.  I could have said, May God have mercy on your soul, because that's really what I meant.