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Author Topic: MLC Monster How long since BD?

O
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MLC Monster Re: How long since BD?
#20: April 20, 2011, 08:51:55 PM
- 16 months since BD & moved out
- Said there was no one & even later when asked said that things are hard enough without adding an affair
- Something not right 4 years ago (see it in hindsight now)
- Found out about affair 2 weeks ago
- Affair started at least 5 years ago
- Repeatedly says (even tonight) does not want a divorce as he does not plan to ever remarry
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« Last Edit: April 20, 2011, 09:53:57 PM by OnMyJourney »
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Re: How long since BD?
#21: April 20, 2011, 08:55:35 PM
2 months
These answers are like jail sentences. How long you in for? What are you in for?
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Re: How long since BD?
#22: April 20, 2011, 10:45:16 PM
BD was Sept 09. Had 2 OW's at that time and one clung on. He left in Nov 09.

 BD2 was March 2010 when I discovered the whole secret life thing and confirmed there had been a 3rd OW before the other two!!

I reckon he had been sliding into this since 06, definitely 07.

Do you think I'll be eligible for parole anytime soon.....I'm a reformed character..honestly  ::) ::) ::)


Let me out of here :o :o :o :o :o
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k

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Re: How long since BD?
#23: April 20, 2011, 11:43:59 PM
BD was Sept 2008, strange behaviour since Jan/Febr 2008, at it's worst May/June 2008.
Divorced since Febr 2010. On occasion contact through email. Mostly NC. I saw him for the last time from a distance in Sept 2010.
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C
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Re: How long since BD?
#24: April 21, 2011, 02:02:30 AM
BD 6 September 2010.  Moved into rented flat with OW 24 September 2010.

I think she made contact with H on FB in May 2010 and they first met up (after thirty years) in June 2010.  Find it difficult to see how far back it all goes.  Probably at least a year before that he was starting to lose interest in things that he'd once enjoyed.
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Re: How long since BD?
#25: April 21, 2011, 05:22:30 AM
BD #1-23 months (disclosure of affair which he ended, lots of weird, scary talk about marriage  :o)
BD #2-12 months (not happy and haven't been for yeeeeeeeeeeeeeears)
BD #3-11 months he leaves to pursue relationship with OW
BD #4-8 months files for D
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Pain is not a punishment, pleasure not a reward.  ~Pema Chodron

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.  ~Oscare Wilde

M 33
H 33
Married 9 years
3 children (D8, D3 and S7months)
BD-Spring of 2009 EA
H Filed 09/2010
S
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Re: How long since BD?
#26: April 21, 2011, 05:34:59 AM
4-08 (36 months.....went to a sporting event, got very sick, came home very different...extremely depressed)
1-09 (BD #1---(28 months ago .....ILYBNILWY...speech)
8-09 (BD #2---need to divorce, can't be fixed, feel nothing for you, not sure I ever did)
7-10 (BD #3---divorce needs to happen)
11-10 (BD #4---definitely moving out)
2-11----Gave me divorce papers...I refused to sign...hasn't officially been filed with courts.

Packing, but still living here.

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H43, M44
M 22 years
T  23 years
3 Kids
Crisis began 4/08
Divorced 2/13
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Re: How long since BD?
#27: April 21, 2011, 07:16:32 AM
Monster/Mr unhappy began appearing 9/07

33 months since BD - Aug 08

16 months since he left (the last time)

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"Midway upon the journey of life, I found myself within a forest dark For the straightforward path had been lost"

my story
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Re: How long since BD?
#28: April 21, 2011, 07:22:40 AM
July 14, 2009 BD #1He told me he  wanted a separation- sent me home from Hong Kong
Sept 7, 2010 BD #2 Said "I don't want to be married to you anymore"...goes to work in Brazil (I was supposed to be going with him..for 4 months I had been studying Portuguese and preparing to move)
So 21 months since BD #1..when I look back, he was more distant at least 1 year before that so July 2008. I talked to him and shared some books and we discussed that we needed to bring ourselves back again.....didn't get the chance..he made the decision...we haven't lived together for 21 months and have very minimal contact now. We are getting legally separated and have a mediation  date for May 24.
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html
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Re: How long since BD?
#29: April 21, 2011, 07:27:38 AM
18 MONTHS AND COUNTING

  BD - OCT. 09
  MOVED OUT DEC. 09
  HE FILED FOR D - FEB. 10
  D FINAL - OCT. 10
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