[bubbs16]

The I've lost myself line seems to be very popular for the wives to say.

[Sam I Am]

H said at BD:

-ILYBINILWY
-I have changed.  I am not the man I used to be.  (This one had truth to it)
-Your a great mom...we have wonderful kids....but....   ME:  But what?   I got dead air time!
-I can't ever forgive you for what you did to me 20 years ago!  ME:  What was that?  H:  You didn't have sex when I wanted it!  ME:  Oh?  H:  I wasted my life with you.  I was a stud back then!
      All the woman wanted me and I stayed with you!  Me:  Do you remember the times we made love?   H:  Yeah...hardly ever!  Me:  Wow!
-You don't clean enough!
-You make me eat out too much!
-I am not leaving you for the OW!  ME:  Then why move in with her?  H:  Because:
                 >She gets me emotionally!  You don't.
                 >She respects me.  You don't.
                 >She listens to me. You don't.
                 >I can help her out.  She is not in good shape financially and I can help take care of her and give her rent money.
-You don't need me.  You are smart beautiful intelligent and independent.  You will be fine.  You will find someone else someday.  You can take care of yourself.
-The kids don't need me.  They are grown and on their own.  No one needs me anymore.  OW does.  She gets me and I can help take care of her.  She is a good person.
-I am doing this for you.  ME:  How is this for me?   H:  So you will take care of yourself.  You will thank me someday!
-To my sister - I left her because she didn't talk to our son enough.  Hmmm....we called him jointly several times a week.
-We will always be best friends.  OW will have to accept that.  We will always have something special.  ME:  She won't let that happen.  H:  I tell her the way things are.  She will accept it or hit the highway.
-At BD...I want a divorce.   Later I commented on knowing he went to an attorney - He then told me that he can't divorce me or I will loose healthcare and he won't do that to me.  Ever.
- I told OW he is getting a divorce but will never ever marry her.  She didn't like that.
My favorite:   I know what I am doing is stupid but there is something inside me gnawing at me saying I have to do this!

[Silver]

You don't support me.

Oh good old lack of support!

My XW said the same, she must have forgotten that I supported and encouraged her to study and got her 3rd degree (she did), to change jobs (what she desired, she did), to start part time working via 3rd degree (she did), to get herself hobbies and meetings with friends of whatever she likes to leave house more often and have more own time (she did), to talk about her feelings (she did, we talked for hours about anything on earth when had time), to say what she wanted to change in our marriage (she did), to start looking new house bc she wanted to move and I didn't but agreed at the end (she did), to go to therapy (she did), to start dating with me again (she did). AND to continue living with me and not break our family as I could forgive her everything and apologized all my mistakes (she didn't).

Another good old is the change. She got really angry when I stated her that something in you has recently changed at time she was about to step into the tunnel. It was SO obvious script, she felt the change yet denied it and got into an anger from denial during that time.

In couple of months she accused me for not letting her change.

[One day at a time]

Yes.. the "change" one seems to be common...

I got "I've changed and I don't know why"

[Skates]

Whole thing gets exhausting, if she's as unhappy as she says sometimes i wish she would just divorce me.  I feel like an idiot looking for little positive signs.  She ignores me a few days, but then is nice and talks to me for 5 minutes so i am all excited.  Feel like an idiot cause its stupid.

[megogirl]

I got "I've CHANGED!", too.

Yeah you have, for the worse.....!

[Thunder]

Yep!

He did something very out of character and I said, this just isn't like you to do this.

His answer..after thinking about?  "Yeah..well..I don't feel like myself anymore."   

[One day at a time]

Whole thing gets exhausting, if she's as unhappy as she says sometimes i wish she would just divorce me.  I feel like an idiot looking for little positive signs.  She ignores me a few days, but then is nice and talks to me for 5 minutes so i am all excited.  Feel like an idiot cause its stupid.

Don't feel like an idiot. We all do it, at least for a good while.. I read a LOT into the most insignificant things, to then get disappointed once again.. Probably the only reason why I don't do it anymore it's because my H moved 1000s of kms away and I don't see him anymore and hear very little. I was forced to focus on me and deal with all the wreckage..

You will get to a point where you have seen things before and got burnt so they don't have any effect on you, you'll no longer see it as a positive.. It will take time though. (I'm sorry)

[Helpingme!]

Skates
We all have done it. I have for sure. In time, you won't get excited over that 5 minutes of a sweet person.  And you will not be looking for good signs. It will affect you as it does now.
Hang in there man.

[megogirl]

I know what I am doing is stupid but there is something inside me gnawing at me saying I have to do this!

How is it that they all report the EXACT. SAME . THING?!

Well that, or variations of that.  They all feel that something is very wrong with them, but don't know what.  Just this total sense of URGENCY!

It's so, so bizarre.....