[Shockandawe]

Hi Jackolar

I was mid 40’s when MLC hit. I started resenting my ex h after the death of my Father.
I spent like crazy, flying abroad every few weeks to be with om. Changing myself entirely from who I was. I had a tattoo, piercings, different clothes style, different hair style, different tastes in music, different food more or less if I could change it I absolutely would.

I wanted to be someone else and was running as fast as possible to get away from the version of myself pre MLC. In the end I did a complete 180 and returned to who I was but this took time but I am now myself again but I think I’m a better version now than the original.

Shocks sis

[Sam I Am]

Did your memories from pre-MLC ever come back or were they lost too?

[OldPilot]

Did your memories from pre-MLC ever come back or were they lost too?

I am not an MLC'er but I have been at this now for over 10 years.

I have a lot of trouble remembering what happened 10 years ago, this I am sure of.

[Thunder]

Hi Shock's sis.

I don't think you need to keep turning your posts blue anymore.
We know you both have your own thread now.   

Thanks for all your patience, and time, trying to answer question so many questions LBS's have.

Just don't, at any time, let if overwhelm you in any way.  You are doing so good.   

[Tyks]

Shock's sis, this is an interesting discussion and you are helping many people. Thank you.

Last night I did a booboo and drunk emailed my h after hearing more about the horrid ow from my d20. Two lines. Are you happy now, really?  Must've been a pretty horrid 20 years. Of course he had no idea what I was talking about and I regretted it as soon as I remembered doing it.

His response ... He was shocked and asked me if I was insinuating that he had a horrid life. I really should post his response. I will.

Ummm Hello,

Are you suggesting my life is bad now? Life wasn't rotten it was just time for a change. Is it way better, I wouldn't say that but it is different in many ways some good, some bad. Overall I am happy. I wouldn't change the outcome just maybe the way it went down.  Even if I was single I would feel the same way. When I left I didn't think everything was going to be rosy and no matter the situation I always make the best of it.


It's not that I hate you or regret our time together at all.

So his big thing seems to be that he wanted a change. He emailed a few months ago to say that he still loved me but it was time to have new experiences with new partners.

Is that kinda what you felt as well? I don't understand why changes to both of our lives couldn't be done together. After 3 years I still don't get it b

[megogirl]

Hi ShockSis

I second what Tyks just asked......I'm pretty sure my XH said the same thing, using different words ("We've grown apart....you either grow together, or you grow apart.")

Could there be any truth to their bull$h!te?  Has he finally found his "true companion?"   Or is this all just the MLC talking?

Thanx xxx

[Keep believing]

Hello,
would you mind answering my question a few posts back? I understand with so many questions it can gwt overwhelming   thanks

[3Boys4Me]

I’m not Shock Sis, I am sure she will have an interesting perspective but for me TYKS that is my worst nightmare. That my husband just says “meh” after 18 years  or “I just needed a change” - I would rather hear his rage, spewing, crazy talk and wild uncharacteristic behavior - and for what it’s worth, what kind of a person just blows up his life and family because they want change, regardless of the damage they cause in their wake... hopefully this is MLC denial.

[Shockandawe]

Hi Keep Believing

Sorry I missed out your question I will do my best to explain the fog.

When in the run up to MLC my thinking began to change. My Father had been diagnosed with cancer and it was terminal. I know that it’s quite normal for anyone to go through a whole range of emotions at that point but I began to feel as if I was beginning to splinter apart. He died within 3 months of diagnosis and it was then I really started to feel like I was shattering inside. I had moments of total confusion as if my thoughts were being jumbled around and the speed of the thoughts got faster and faster. I couldn’t remember things and I felt fear and anger and hatred starting to build as good feelings started to slip away. The numbness set in and I felt like a block of ice. I suppose the foggy explanation is the only way to describe it because it felt as if I was detaching from reality.

When the fog was at its deepest, which I now know to be replay, I was convinced I was right about the fact that I had to live a new life with om and my ex h was a shackle which was holding me back. He was the worst person in the world, he was weak and draining. I didn’t need him nor want him. I had found the perfect man. The fog is an accomplished and totally convincing liar. I destroyed my life because I was so sure I never happy with that life, that I deserved better, that I had found mr. Perfect. All lies!!!

I couldn’t see or feel the fog but at that time the fog became my truth, my armour, my life.  It was only after some time I started to move out of the fog I realised that things were far from the lie the fog had me believing for so long.

Shocks sis

[Standing Strong]

Hey Shock-Sis,

Did you seek to control your H while the MLC was running full steam? We're told that the MLC'er will attempt to hold them in place for use later (plan B).
Also, how did your spewing/monstering go with your H? Did you have to blow off steam onto him on a regular basis? Or were you content being left alone?

Mine is all over the place. She wants to vent and project.... then be left alone..... but always wants to be in the loop.

Second question: Did you keep tabs on your H to know what he's doing, even if you didn't like him?
Mine doesn't seem to notice anything, until she slips in a conversation that yeah, she's watching everything.

What were these like for you?

Thanks!

-SS