Author Topic: Discussion Debate vs Discussion  (Read 863 times)

Offline ThunderTopic starterTopic starter

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Discussion Debate vs Discussion
« on: October 11, 2019, 02:53:06 PM »
Debate and Discussion are two words that are often confused when it comes to understanding their meanings and usage. Strictly speaking, there is some difference between the two words.

Maybe this is the problem with some of these threads that blow up.  Debating is going on not discussing.

I hear ‘We can debate this” “I want to debate this”  “There is nothing wrong with debating this”  “We can debate this.”  ‘I would like to debate this further.”

The word ‘debate’ is generally used in the sense of ‘deliberation’. On the other hand, the word ‘discussion’ is used in the sense of ‘detailed conversation’. This is the main difference between the two words. It is important to know that there is an element of argument in a debate. On the other hand, a discussion can be free of arguments.

A discussion normally is centered on a particular topic with assertions made by two or more people that do their best to establish the validity of the topic.

On the other hand, a debate takes place between two or more people that are intent upon proving their own statements, and thereby, engaging in arguments to oppose the assertions or statements made by other people.

This is primarily the reason why debate is held as a kind of competition to prove one’s speaking and communicative ability. On the other hand, a discussion is not held as a competition to judge a person’s speaking or communicative ability. This is another important difference between the two words.

The word ‘discussion’ is sometimes used in the sense of ‘chat’ as in the sentences
1. There was a discussion among the members of the club.
2. Francis took part in the discussion about civic sense.

As I see it there is there is no icon on HS for Debate, just Discussion.
Maybe some day RCR will elect to have a “Debate” icon here.  Until then all we have is a Discussion icon.  An exchange of ideas.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Anjae

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2019, 03:09:31 PM »
We have discussion threads. We have always discussed, as well as debated.

I don't see an issue with any. Debate is part of discussion.

I am not sure why something that has always existed on HS has become such of problem in late months.

There is always someone wanting to stop discussion, debate, different points of view, challanges, questions.

Even personal story threads often have discussion and/or debate, questions, challanges, etc. Trying to stop them on discussion or green icon threads, as far as I am concerned makes no sense.

Name calling? Insults? Wishing MLC, death, ill on others? That is another matter.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2019, 03:18:20 PM by Anjae »
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline MyBrainIsBroken

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2019, 03:15:27 PM »
Good post Thunder! Definitely worth discussing.  :)

I don't care for debates. When we discuss something we can learn from each other but our goal when debating is to prove that we're right and the other person is wrong.

So how do we keep our discussions from turning into debates?

Offline Anjae

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2019, 03:18:45 PM »
So how do we keep our discussions from turning into debates?

We don't. But we can easily not wish MLC upon fellow LBS, not name call, not allow our out of control parts to post, etc. Maybe you could work on those for a start?

And maybe many, if not most, male LBS could work to prevent posting horrendous things about women. The rope male LBS are given when it comes to be insulting to women is amazing.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2019, 03:22:44 PM by Anjae »
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Disillusioned

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2019, 03:40:00 PM »
So how do we keep our discussions from turning into debates?
And maybe many, if not most, male LBS could work to prevent posting horrendous things about women. The rope male LBS are given when it comes to be insulting to women is amazing.

Anjae,

Since I'm a male LBS, it might be instructive to have a few examples, if they can be provided.  I'd hate to think I'm responsible for posting horrendous things about women, and I'm not sure I've ever read anything on here I found fitting that description. 
M=51
W=47
D=8
BD Feb 17 Thinking of divorce
Atomic BD June 17 Spying revealed OM at work
Still home.  Threatened to leave several times and has asked me to leave about a dozen. 
Says divorce proceedings will start Jan 18.
She has scheduled mediation Feb 7,  2018
I moved out March 16, 2018
Several mediations, mostly instigated by me.  Foot dragging by STBXW.  Nothing filed. Yet.
5/2019 STBXW filed D behind my back despite signed agreement to mediate.
I retain attorney.
STBXW still hasn't told me and no further action.
Elephant in the room has been addressed.  No further action atm.  Weighing my options.

Offline Anjae

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2019, 03:48:00 PM »
The list is too long and goes back many years. Standing was the most recent with his idea that sex is possessivness and women are, therefore, possesions and other weird stuff about men and women.

There is STP; there is cld, their threads are filled with such stuff. There was Rugged. There are others. I, and many of the women, tend to stay away from the threads of those that essencially post nothing more. But, at times, they post elsewhere, or a male LBS that does not spend all the time posting that sort of stuff comes up with strange things, like Standing Strong did.

Allow me to be clear, it is not all male LBS. There is also a difference between what Standing Strong posted and what some of the repeating offending male LBS post.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2019, 04:33:49 PM »
Yes I prefer discussions, particularly in this site. I loathe debating.....and I'm a lawyer. But that is just me. I can respect people who like a lively debate--more power to them.

But I absolutely despise the personal attacks. Of course, in my opinion, that speaks more about the person making them than the object of their attack. 

Me 48
H 47
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline sada

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2019, 04:43:27 PM »
It is pointless to debate opinions. Opinions can be discussed. There are simply not many facts known about mlc. There are personal opinions and experiences. No one should ever imagine they can debate another's story.
Sada
Me - 57
H - 56
Married 13 years, together 23
Apr 2014: PA discovered, ow 22 yrs younger
May 2014: "I love her & she loves me"
("But I'll always love you the most")
Jun 2014: Left home to live w OW
Aug 2014: Back home. "Sorry, made mistakes".
Late 2015: Ow2 (a couple of dates I think). Monster
  returned for several months 
Early 2016: Health scare, including major surgery, resulting in fog lifting some more.
Today: H progressing thru mlc positively.Mostly cooked, has remained home and reconciling
Arguments & disagreements very infrequent
Enjoying our time together

Offline SteelSpine

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2019, 05:14:14 PM »
The biggest problem I have here is when personal opinions are stated as facts, and respectful discussion is quashed.

And sada is right. Pretty much EVERYTHING about mlc is only opinion.

But it is particularly discouraging when it is done with the whole, "it's just a challenge" schtick, implying that others are too thin-skinned, or less knowledgeable.

It is abusive. Haven't we already had enough of that in our real lives?

That is what I truly do not understand.
me 55, H 51
S13, S9 & S9
M 1/98

7/16 - BD - PA - OW
Monster until 1/17
T&Gs until 8/18
No legal action

Offline ThunderTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Debate vs Discussion
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2019, 07:35:37 PM »
I don't see debate is part of discussion. 
Webster definition of debate. : a contention by words or arguments.

I do love a healthy, respectful discussion though.

MB, I don't care for debates either.  Your right, when we discuss something we can learn from each other but our goal when debating is to prove that we're right and the other person is wrong.

So how do we keep our discussions from turning into debates?  I wish I knew.  Maybe ignore the debaters who just want to argue? ;)

KIT, thank you I loathe debating too.....and I'm not a lawyer.   ;D

Sada thank you for posting, yes it is pointless to debate opinions. Opinions can be discussed and should be.  Like MB said that's how we learn from each other.  Forcing your opinion on everyone only causes anger and resentment.

SteelSpine, I don't understand either.  I too find the biggest problem I have here is when personal opinions are stated as facts, and respectful discussion is quashed.
 
Disillusioned, you are doing a great job. No worries. You are not any kind of abusive man, neither is Standing, in my opinion.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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