[Shockandawe]

Hi Surviving

It’s not a weird question at all and though I cannot answer for my ex h I can for my fathers MLC which happened when I was growing up.
Shock and I’s Father changed from ever day slightly overweight cardigan wearing Dad to someone resembling a 70’s porn star complete with the big moustache and flash car. Once out of MLC though he changed back into ordinary Dad but with improvements such as he was a lot calmer and patient. He was Dad again but better.
Hope it helps

[Shockandawe]

Onwards together we go Mego

[Shockandawe]

Hi Granite

I know my daughter tells me I don’t get stressed so much and I’m more laid back about things such as if I don’t want to cook a Sunday lunch we will have pizza etc. I am more rational and less quick to anger. I have a compassion and understanding for people which is deeper than before.
I actually like myself and have no fear of being alone.
I worry less about what ifs and instead think keep going forward and don’t worry about what you cannot change.
I feel happier and am able to talk about my father and my feelings without having to lock than down.
I am sure there are more but these are what came to me.

[Stand Tall]

Hi Sis,

  You've mentioned that your husband moved on pretty quickly after your BD to him. You've also mentioned that he got into a new relationship right away and married that person. What is the chance, in your opinion, that he is going through his own mlc's?

  Thank you so much for sharing and opening up about your situation.

Stand

[rosetintedglasses]

Sis

When my H was going in to the tunnel he said to me ‘I’ve turned into someone I never wanted to be’. He was crying.  I couldn’t decide if he meant a father and husband (the real H) or someone having an affair (MLC H).

It doesn’t really matter but I’ve just always wondered. Is it clear to you? I realise it’s a guess.

Thanks!
Rose 🌹

[Finding Joy]

Rose, mine said he was trying to protect me from who he is now.

[megogirl]

Finding

How did you respond to that?

[Finding Joy]

It was maybe 9 months ago Mego.  I don’t remember clearly.  I vaguely remember thinking who the hell are you...

[Thunder]

That's very familiar to me because in the very beginning, after BD my H did something so out of character and I was so confuses and said ...."This is just not like you."

He thought for a second or two and said.."Yeah...well..I don't feel like myself anymore."

I think that is very telling of the confused state of mind they are in.

[3Boys4Me]

Mine too was behaving so out of character, our kids started calling him Dad 2, one day early on, S12.5 told his dad that he was different and didn’t seem like himself anymore, my spouse said, “I know I’m different, but you need to get used to it, I think this guy is going to be around for awhile.”  That was probably two years ago and “that guy” is still around, while my former H seems further and further away...