[AllieKat]

Thank you all! I have a lawyer ready to go but am still waiting on the actual papers! I want to shake  my husband….hard. Literally and this mlc bs ugh can I shake that too. I have been talking to a coach she mostly deals with mlc spouses. And helps you try to get them home. Im struggling with being positive though. I think if we talked it be different but since he has shut that door. To think this whole thing started while being intimate boggles my brain. His avoidance to talk or see him also is crazy. I think it hurts him to see me and in his crazy mind not seeing me or talking to me will eventually kill the love. I dunno either way he’s a coward!

[AllieKat]

I also want to mention for the period of like almost two weeks I didn’t post on here I rented a car and tried to follow him. I say try because I had more fails than actual follows. I got stuck behind ambulance, stayed too far back that I missed where he turned and Im no great detective…lol

However I did follow him two different days. Weird thing was I went a random way and literally passed by him at gas station. That night he slept in walmart parking lot in car. He went nowhere otger than gas, food and inside walmart. Second day I was having ice cream in town he workd and he passed by so another fluke. He went to a local food mart, sams club for gas and just drove around. He slept in rest stop! I saw his face at gas station and he looked angry or just plain different. Maybe that’s my perception but he definitely didn’t look happy or care free. No other woman either. He could be having EA with someone online or etc! I really don’t know but he idnt really the ladies man, never was. I feel like if anything he would take up with someone not very attractive just to get over me. Not being mean but hes very overweight, married, struggling with Ed and is living out of car, still sharing all his $ with me so not sure hes a catch.

[Nas]

If you could smell these messages, they would definitely smell like Drakar Noir, old cigars and scotch.

I don't remember messaging you... (Just kidding, I ran out of Drakar Noir long ago.)

My Members Only jacket is around here somewhere...

😂
We should have a thread about all the things that MLCers do in 2024 that prove that they are emotionally living in 1984.
I remember mine starting chewing Big League Chew and watching ESPN Classic.

[Atari25]

Thank you all! I have a lawyer ready to go but am still waiting on the actual papers! I want to shake  my husband….hard. Literally and this mlc bs ugh can I shake that too. I have been talking to a coach she mostly deals with mlc spouses. And helps you try to get them home. Im struggling with being positive though. I think if we talked it be different but since he has shut that door. To think this whole thing started while being intimate boggles my brain. His avoidance to talk or see him also is crazy. I think it hurts him to see me and in his crazy mind not seeing me or talking to me will eventually kill the love. I dunno either way he’s a coward!

I have tried to shake my wife. My kids have tried too. Once fully in MLC I think it's a lost cause for a long time.

My wife left in January - I will never get her to come back. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Just take care of yourself.

[Atari25]

Before my wife left said some very weird things to neighbors and only talked about herself in those encounters.

Our last dinner party, she only talked about herself and then shut down with the conversation was about anything or anyone else.

Everyone noticed in retrospect but ... like others my wife didn't have any close friends.

[Tailspin]

My wife filed 2 months ago formally and has her two feet on the accelerator pedal.  It deeply upset me but I can't change her thinking that it will bring her peace.  I think their anger gets the best of them from what I have read some feel a strange relief in just filing it.  I can't understand any of this.  So sorry for your situation.  Keep faith in God and his bigger plan.  That is what helps me.

[xyzcf]

Hi AllieKat,

I have merged your threads (you had started 4) so that people can read back and follow your story.

You can ask questions on this thread and if you wish to change the title of the thread that is possible.

You are asked to continue on one thread only until you reach 150 posts. Then you can close that thread and start a new one...copying the address of the old thread.

This helps to keep the forum functioning.

To find your most recent posts, you can go to members, find your name and click on it. It will say show posts on the left and that will take you to the latest post that has been made chronologically.

Thanks for your understanding.

[AllieKat]

Ok thank you…sorry my mind isn’t working responsibly

[AllieKat]

Just posting to update my sad story only because its therapy for me. My h financially cut me off on 9/11 and I didn’t take it well. I attempted suicide! I went into garage and ran lawn mower till I go sickly and couldn’t stand. I panicked and had my iPhone (siri) call 911! I was unresponsive when they arrived but I was helicoptered to Philly for treatment for carbon monoxide poisoning . Im here but still miserable! I was held in psychiatric ward for week. All it did was make things worse. My only child isn’t speaking to me an my husband used my absence to move all his things out and cut off cable/wifi!

Why do I feel like i cant accept losing him!! I just cant believe this is my life. I had hope he’d change mind but now reality has hit and im not sure thats even possible and heck why would he want to? I look like a crazy person!!!

[xyzcf]

Thank you for sharing your story here. You are not the first LBS who has attempted suicide and will not be the last. We understand. It is safe for you to write here and I agree. It can be extremely therapeutic to both write it out and to get support from others who share similar feelings.
Sometimes it is hard to find the right fit with a therapist but keep looking. Also, if you have been prescribed medications, antidepressants can take up to 6 weeks to take effect. Often too, the dose or the actual drug needs some tweaking.
Do not lose hope.
The hard part for me was accepting that he was gone, our marriage was gone, my best friend was gone…….I cried all the time and it took me a long time to recover.
The thing that helped the most was finding a therapist who specialized in treating trauma.
I found things that would give me a few minutes of relief. First, volunteer work at a food bank where I stacked shelves…I didn’t need to think, I didn’t really need to talk to anyone.
Then at a cat adoption agency cleaning the rooms and feeding the cats.
Then I discovered golf…surprisingly when I address the golf ball, for those few breaths, my mind was empty as I could only focus on hitting the ball. Yoga was also essential.
I was fortunate to have a few really good friends that stood by me.
And prayer was also a very important part in my healing.
You will find your own path….you will be able to look back, a month, two months, six months and you will see that things do get better.
Keep writing. We get it and we are here for you.