[UKStander]

Many people mistake normal MLC depression for the depression stage.  The real depression stage is intense and horrendous.   It is short lived.  For some Its so bad they have to choose to live or die.

LP, I have a question.  Is the 'real depression' of quite short, but intense, span then?  Compared to the long drawn out 'normal' depression?  And is it a sure thing that it WILL come? Or do some potter on in the lesser depression for the rest of their lives?  I don't see many examples on site of the BIG depression at all. Maybe I'm looking at the wrong threads.  Or maybe I'm assuming that the real depression is so intense it brings the MLC-er's life to a halt and they end up in hospital or prison or something.  Maybe some still soldier on, with the black dog hanging round their necks?  Thinking of, for example, Pixie's H . . .

[Hmmm]

And mine-who has been suicidal for two years. Sat in a bath with razor blades in Japan on S15's bday. Had to be flown back from work.  Had a couple of weeks off. Had to be sedated the next time he was away as he was so anxious. I can't imagine it getting worse.
Xx

[NeverGiveUp1]

I guess what I was trying to say is does successfully going through the MLC tunnel cure them of any depression they may have developed either at MLC or before?

Just wondering if we'd still have depression to deal with even after MLC is over ..

[Hmmm]

From what I've read on the Storied Mind website, they might still get depressed but learn to identify the signs and deal with it in a more appropriate way.

This is my hope. I don't want to spend my life with somebody who sees no joy in life
Xxx

[calamity]

Just wondering because based on the things my H says I can tell he is deep in depression and probably has battled it most of his life. I am interested to know if it will go away after MLC, if that makes any sense..

Look up 'covert' & 'overt' depression.http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/mlc_overview_separation_covert-depression.html 
This is also discussed in Rosen's book.

Depression is on a spectrum.  It's all depression; depends how intense or buried.

[Albatross]

After overt depression stage, I am saying about stages. Because depression is present during whole MLC and switching in covert - overt many times. But after MLCer go trough "depression stage", they are still depressed, but they slowly going up and up, leaving depression and become anxious. Also they regain a lot more clarity, more touch with reality.

[scooter]

attaching

[UKStander]

Hmmm, I'm so sorry. I only just checked back in here - after so many months. I am very sorry to hear about the razor blades....   

I'm none the wiser at the end of this thread, I have to say.  But I know it doesn't really matter.  What will be, will be.  We'll deal with whatever we have to deal with as when and IF our Hs reach the liminality phase.

I totally realise that by that time it may be none of our business as our MLC-ers are out there in MLC land ON THEIR OWN, but it's worth noting that any suicide attempts would have a BIG impact on our children and so it's worth having a knowledge of depression in order to deal with this possible eventuality.

[hawk]

That's one helluva list.  All l can say though is that no wonder so many round here keep saying my ex is depressed , there's only about 3 on that list she isn't doing.
l guess they'd keep seeing that in things l talk about her.
l'm pretty shocked tbh bc reading it all through that way that's been laid out , l can see very clearly now so much of it in my ex.

Going on her moods and many other things in that list still going on in even the last few wks though after over 3yrs , sadly l doubt she;ll be knocking any time soon by the look of that.

[Treasure]

Attaching to read and read again! X