[TrustingMyHP]

Well, a few days after BD, when H and I were talking about OW, he told me they weren't talking about marriage "yet."  I then said (this was before I learned not to ever say anything about OW) "then why are you talking to me about divorce?"

H said to me, with a straight face (I later leanred he said the same thing to our therapist one of the last times he saw him) "we wouldn't have to get a divorce if you'd let OW live with us.  All she wants is to sleep at the foot of the bed."

I am not kidding.  He was serious.

He also told me, "OW has been your best friend through all this.  You'll never know how many times she tried to get me to return to you."  Uh-huh.

Nobody who hasn't experienced this s*** would believe it.

TMHP

[kikki]

Why not write a book  " How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a Skank Ho"    published by Harper/Collins.
    Nice coffee table book.

'That's a brilliant idea - can you just imagine the illustrations!!!   
Photographs or illustrations do you think?  Or a mix of both perhaps?'
[/quote]

'Nah... that is nor fair to the ones of us whose husband live in nice flats with nice looking OW, like mine does. They have a interiors design magazine look a like flat. And OW looks so sweet an gentle that it would end up being a really good coffee table book.  '
[/quote]

Okay - fair enough AnneJ

How about a duo then?  1)  How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with an OVERT Skank Ho" 

and                                2)  How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a COVERT Skank Ho" 

Trusting - that just about takes the cake!!!   

[Anjae]

Okay - fair enough AnneJ

How about a duo then?  1)  How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with an OVERT Skank Ho" 

and                                2)  How to De-stress When your Spouse lives with a COVERT Skank Ho" 

Ok, I think that will do. Second option will match the covert depression. So odd the people he hangs around do not see how bad he is...

TrustingMyHP, that "H said to me, with a straight face (I later leanred he said the same thing to our therapist one of the last times he saw him) "we wouldn't have to get a divorce if you'd let OW live with us.  All she wants is to sleep at the foot of the bed." is soooooo out there.

Think this were people who would not believe if a person would tell them that someone they know would say/do such things...

[kikki]

Ok, I think that will do. Second option will match the covert depression. So odd the people he hangs around do not see how bad he is...

They must do ........  they just think they've always been moody and tetchy ...........  they don't hang out with people that knew them before usually
From what I heard today from our one mutual friend, the 'mask' has been slipping off a lot lately (in public)

[LettingGo]

LG, how come OW can see you FB page or even just your birthday on it? It is possible to only have that info for your friends. Do you have your FB page open to everyone? Is OW on your FB page?...

AnneJ, OW doesn't even own a computer... when she has looked at my page, it was either at work, or through a friend. I know that OW is threatened by me, so if she can't stop herself from looking at pictures of me and the kids and husband on vacation, it just makes her act out even worse....

I have posted things deliberately that I knew would drive my husband AND her crazy, if they happened to look.... things such as pics of me out with friends at parties and clubs.... me with family... new babies and such... I post positive things like how happy I am, or how wonderful the steaks I just grilled are.... how I'm looking forward to my vacation to California, or wherever.... she has NONE of these things!

Not that I care, but my husband DID reveal that she tried to tell him I was a "ho" for always being out with young people having fun!! he then DEFENDED me by telling her what a great Mom and Wife and wonderful person I am, LOL!! BINGO!! I don't spend much time on FB in the first place, but I did use it for showing my GAL activities, and in the beginning, my husband would sometimes call soon after I posted pics of me and the kids on some adventure.... it made him jealous and miss us even more.

I'm very glad that OW doesn't have a FB page.... I'm sure she would be posting the obligatory pictures of her and my husband together as her profile picture. I have been lucky to dodge MANY bullets in this.... beginning with my husband having a vasectomy... otherwise, I'm sure OW would have already had a baby with him.

[starrett]

mine told me  I made her mad in 1988, I work  on thankgivings, then  she told me I got made at her  in 1992,,  I bought my daddy a tombstone,  we even talk about it, and now she is mad about that too,,  I got mad at her when the house was messy and I got down to my emg underware, and there was no clean towles,  ,  and thatIdidn't know how to love her, I felt love strongly, but I couldn't show it after 27yrs together and 31yrs total,  she was just realize that, like come on  be real, andwe never went on vacation, I brought up ever vacation we have  ever been on, and those didn't count. like what the heck

[Mamma Bear]

 Starrett,  In those strange excuses I find my HOPE!
                No one would explain abandoning their family that way except someone who is confused and scared. 
                They are grasping at straws. Mine told me 'You should have seen this coming.'    and this from a very nice man up until that moment.
               Reading between the lines it's like a call for help.   "Yes, I'll help you by getting out of the way. "   it's all we can do and carry on with our own journeys.  I'm starting to like the 'OW sleeping at the foot of the bed one' . LOL~!   

[Thundarr]

Kikki - I suspect they take on all-new friends because they want the friends to think that who they are seeing is the real them, and the new friends don't realize they are being the total opposite of who they really are.  It makes the mask easier to wear for them.

LG - Great use of FB as a tool!!  I'm sure it helps your own self esteem to know that she's burning up over the realization that she is an affair down.

Star - Early on, my W brought up an incident between she and I that I had forgotten about and so apologized to her once again.  It was only after she told me that she "doesn't forgive easily" that I stopped to think and realized that was 20 years ago!!!  She was talking about it like it was just recent.  I swear it's like she has every negative thing I ever did saved on a hard drive or something.  She also denied enjoying our trip to Disneyworld last year and said she has only been acting like she was happy all these years.  She is a great actress, I have to say, if she pulled that off.

[starrett]

 Mine told me she has been unhappy for 27yrs,  she needs to be in hollywood, and, sure could have fool me, we have been going a vacation  every yr for the past 5yrs just us, but she says that doesn't count and also going  on 3 other trips also, just us, so it is 4 a yr wow, but none ofthem matter either.

[NewBeginnings]

My H always holds grudges against people.  He does not forget.  He holds it in for years and never says anything.  He is a conflict avoider.  Never spoke of his feelings, avoided any type of arguement but holds onto anger and resentment for years.  And he does this with everyone, not just me.  Last week he told me I was mean to him because back in Jan. he had just gotten home from being gone all week and he was at the front door with it wide open and I yelled down to him as he was petting the dogs and asked him if he would let the dogs out quick.  He told me last week he was furious with me for that.   He never said a word until now.  Stupid, his reasons for leaving are just plain stupid and I find them funny.  I wont tell him that but really, to hold a grudge against me for asking him to let our dogs out. 

NB