[Ready2Transform]

Not a bad article, but indeed, not full blown MLC.  Infidelity and extreme financial changes make MLC something more than what you need to "distract yourself" from.  I like this article, but it does make too light of the ramifications of MLC on a household and a life.  And the reality is, we need to deal with reality itself and take our spouses at face value:  they've left.  RCR's writings on acceptance and living as if they are no longer in the marriage, which is current reality for most of us, do far more for healing the pain and helping us manage the financial and emotional burdens we're left with.  It's not a show on TV we don't want to watch, so we go outside until it's over.  For all of us, there are aspects of this that denote permanent changes, reconciliation or not.

[xyzcf]

For all you doubting Thomas men.....Calamity posted this book on someone's thread...read it...sound familiar? (Women can read it too)

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:MRfLUBKBkSYJ:forum.makingherhappy.com/attachment.php%3Fattachmentid%3D56%26d%3D1276041464+&hl=en&gl=ca&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESj0DRtxK1wqcERQ40HCkJShlUkowHR3FHo37sNtI2ETQNXIuI0dZv84k9dAHi7Ai8Enq10_2WQKjez_sO4YUsGXYYRmfyo5I1VXoJ9HDTi22KbCh6vXzApTrAXbP_0eTTGZOqbx&sig=AHIEtbQYeZCre4jSJC6paMcoRuo98qbOzQ

[Slow Fade]

For all of us, there are aspects of this that denote permanent changes, reconciliation or not.

I agree R2T. I know my marriage as I knew it is dead. I also know that there is still a foundation to rebuild on if that becomes a possibility. I also know that I've been changed in a profound way and that its not necessarily a bad thing. Growth usually comes from adversity, not prosperity. I learned that when my Dad died.

[Ready2Transform]

Growth usually comes from adversity, not prosperity.

This is an amazing insight.  Thank you for this!  Another wall plaque in the making.

[toughtimes]

Growth usually comes from adversity, not prosperity.

This is an amazing insight.  Thank you for this!  Another wall plaque in the making.

Yes yes I agree xxx

[OldPilot]

For all you doubting Thomas men.....Calamity posted this book on someone's thread...read it...sound familiar? (Women can read it too)

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:MRfLUBKBkSYJ:forum.makingherhappy.com/attachment.php%3Fattachmentid%3D56%26d%3D1276041464+&hl=en&gl=ca&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESj0DRtxK1wqcERQ40HCkJShlUkowHR3FHo37sNtI2ETQNXIuI0dZv84k9dAHi7Ai8Enq10_2WQKjez_sO4YUsGXYYRmfyo5I1VXoJ9HDTi22KbCh6vXzApTrAXbP_0eTTGZOqbx&sig=AHIEtbQYeZCre4jSJC6paMcoRuo98qbOzQ

Yes I know this author. BYSTANDER, she used to post on Path Partners before they shut their doors.

She knew her stuff.

[Thundarr]

X, I read that book very early on after BD when Hobo/TB sent it to me.  I had D20 read it as well and I think it helped both of us to grasp what was happening without going insane.  I still have a copy close to my desk here at home.  It does a great job of telling you what to expect and why, but I didn't glean much hope from it honestly.

[kikki]

For all you doubting Thomas men.....Calamity posted this book on someone's thread...read it...sound familiar? (Women can read it too)

That is an excellent summary.  Wonder if she did a male MLC version?

[xyzcf]

From Thundaar

It does a great job of telling you what to expect and why, but I didn't glean much hope from it honestly.

For me, that here is yet another confirmation that mlc exists is important. What is it that you are hoping for Thundaar? There are no promises or guarantees or statistical probabilities that will prove that our individual spouses will come home....but they sure might.

I know, I still struggle because so long all my hope was tied up in his returning to our marriage. That is slowly changing to hope for me, that I will find peace, that I will not feel so drained by this anymore. But it is much further along for me..I do not understand the fatigue at this point and wish there was some way to regain the energy that I once had....I cannot base my "health" on his coming home or not, but I do feel that this has taken a toil on me physically and I blame myself for that because of my holding on too tightly to just one possibility. I envy others here who seem so much more healed than I..I do hope it gets better some day.

[OldPilot]

For all you doubting Thomas men.....Calamity posted this book on someone's thread...read it...sound familiar? (Women can read it too)

That is an excellent summary.  Wonder if she did a male MLC version?

No her brother's wife was having an MLC, he was divorced, and she was trying to help him through the path partners site.
She then wrote this manual.