Hello Anne,
I can't say I blame you for making it hard on your husband in regards to the divorce HE wants; yet, from what you're describing, he seems to be wanting to "tie" you to him, keeping you on the side until he's ready to return IF and when he ever reaches that point.
He took all of the money for his own selfish purposes, and is intent on tying you to him in the financial aspect, so you'll always be dependent upon him; classic MLC controlling tactics.
He refuses to pay his alimony; because that might actually help you to get away from him; and again this is a controlling tactic; most MLC'ers don't care if their spouse survives or not; and won't hesitate to cut their legs out from underneath them; this is the state of mind they get into in various aspects.
The crisis, of course, is all about them; and they are intent on coming out ahead regardless of the cost; and this kind of entitlement has cost many a MLC'er their lives; most especially when they "wake up" and realize what they've done; and all is lost to them.
Your husband may be one of the ones who "wakes up" later and sees his total loss; only it would be too late to try and make any amends for the damage he's done. OR, he may be one of the ones who continues to exist within the tunnel of the crisis for the rest of his life....this is why there are no guarantees as to how the crisis will resolve; if, indeed, it does.
You take a chance when you choose to stand; but I also know, and this depends on how your intuition guides you; there can come a time later; once a few years have come and gone; you may receive instruction to begin to forge a different path that leads AWAY from your MLC spouse.
You would have a really good idea if this is the right thing to do; as you would know the situation as it stands at the time your intuition began to deal with and guide you in this fashion.
Now, the time spent standing(even if the marriage doesn't make it through the crisis) is NOT wasted, as long as you used it wisely and to your benefit.
The individual journey that's taken to wholeness and healing still needs to be walked, regardless; this is what I know to be true; otherwise, you'll find yourself in these circumstances once again; only your "lot" becomes harder the next time around.
Anyway back to your husband; his actions are very wrong and controlling for him to be that selfish; he's assuming that you'll just go right along with everything he wants; even to the point of having him back when he's done dallying around....and you know whatever you choose to do is your choice; NOT his; but he's about to find this out, as you represent one of many possibilities; apparently you've decided the he's gone too far with his antics; and you no longer love him; nor want him to return to you.
Just so you know, it's NOT uncommon for a MLC'er to live with the affair partner without marrying them for up to 10 years or longer; whether they divorce their existing spouse or not.
In your case, your husband is NOT "common law" married to his existing OW; simply because he's NOT legally divorced from you just yet. He's still committing adultery against you; regardless of how he or anyone else may see it.
When it comes down to brass tacks, it doesn't matter now what his intentions are or will be; you've made up your mind to kick him to the curb forever once the divorce is final; so now, it only matters how YOU plan to focus on yourself in the future. That's all that really matters at this point; once you've got your financial affairs in order.
Whether you choose to go on with your plans or choose to continue to stand is up to you; but I've sensed several times within your posts that you're actually "done" with him and the marriage; and no hope remains nor love remains within your heart for him.
However your future path may turn out, may God continue to guide your way, light your path; and help you to find a lasting peace; your husband's choices are NOT your fault; and it is unfortunate that you must step to the place to lawfully force him to do what is right by you, his wife.
Yet, this is an example of consequences MLC'ers must face if they are too stubborn to do what the right action is concerning their spouse. We know that if you wish to have another relationship the right thing to do is to let your spouse know, end the relationship properly, process what it was within you that chose to end the relationship; THEN think about getting into another.
Yet, because of their clear selfishness, MLC'ers will do their best to stack and deck in their favor; and if their schemes backfire; resulting in them being completely alone, with no one to be with, this is consequences THEY must face; even if it means the loss of the spouse they tried to not only leave behind; but keep on the side while they pursue their selfish agendas.
In spite of how my situation turned out; I have tried really hard to understand; and get a good grasp of the flip side of the equation; even to the point of asking God to help me understand more.
I hope that what I've written may help you, Anne; I refuse to judge people who choose to walk away from they feel is a point of no return. I don't advise it; but on the other hand, I don't judge it, either.
There are some aspects of MLC that I haven't walked; but watched closely over time; and I've seen so many different possibilities this could reach a possible ending of a sort. You aren't the first one I've seen that has decided to stop standing for personal reasons...whether it be because the damage is too much; the MLC'er seems to be very deeply ensconced within their affair, the MLC'er has taken all of the money; and left the LBS destitute not caring if they lived or died, as long as the MLC'er's agendas were met, having gotten the OW pregnant, or even contracted a sexually transmitted disease, or the MLC'er has vanished for a VERY LONG TIME, and all hope was exhausted in that aspect.
There's more, but it would take me all night to list them all.
What I do know is this: each person's path is as individual as the person walking it, just as the issues that plague the MLC'er are as individual as the crisis they are facing that is tailored to their individual circumstances. One other thing; each LBS KNOWS their MLC spouse better than anyone...and though the Lord may give me various things to say; I don't see all and everything; and it's NOT up to me to actually "tell" someone what to do; I can only put out my opinion, and speak my mind.
What one does after that, is up to THEM, not me.
Love and hugs to you, Anne
You're a very strong lady; and you'll be just fine, regardless of what happens going forward.
Love,
HB
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Topic: 
MLC'ers are not the enemy